Didn't Even Make It A Week!

Photo of page in my bullet journal

I couldn't even get through 7 days of my 17 Day Covid Plan, it was a good attempt at staying motivated but something about it just didn't work for me. Nope! Didn't work.

Not really depressed, though there have been periods of time when I have been. Just feeling unproductive. There are lots and lots of articles going around that talk about it being okay to not be productive at this time. A lot of focus on just "getting through the day" and "self-care." So I am trying not to beat myself up about the fact that I am having a hard time getting anything useful done lately.

17 Day Covid Plan

Trying to stay motivated and productive during this strange time of quarantine and self-isolation. I have made a check-list for the next 17 days (just because that was the number of lines in my notebook set up). Here is what I am hoping to accomplish:

Everyday - Do a small task related to
-- Becoming a PMP
-- Getting a job
-- Closing down the cafe
-- Keeping the house clean
-- Hosting weekly virtual trivia

Everyday - I am trying to
-- Go for a walk with Jason
-- Do a blog post, might be backdated
-- Brush the cat

Every morning, before noon, I want to
-- Be downstairs before 9am
-- Drink a glass of warm lemon water
-- Have breakfast
-- Wash my face and brush my teeth
-- Feed the cat, using new/clean bowls
-- Take my vitamins
-- Call someone for a quick chat
-- Do some fitness thing that raises my heart rate for 20mins

Every night, I want to
-- Stop looking at screens (phone, tablet, computer) after 11pm
-- Do a quick clean of the kitchen
-- Clean out the cat's litter box
-- Wash my face, floss and brush my teeth
-- Fill the humidifier
-- Relax (yoga, meditation, sex)
-- Be in bed before 11:30pm

Trying to go easy on myself and not be too upset if I don't achieve everything everyday. Some things are easier to do than others. The list is a bit like the one I tried back in November when I was starting to get depressed after shutting down the cafe and starting to look for a new job. Today is the first day and the checklist is mapped out until May 3rd, at which point I will see what is working, make some adjustments, and create a new one.

Online Learning

I am working towards my Project Management Professional (PMP) certification, since I have noticed this qualification showing up more and more in the public service jobs I am applying for.

Requirements for PMP Certification:
- Four-year degree (CHECK)
- Three years leading projects (CHECK)
- 35 hours of project management training (Exam Prep Course)
- Write a 4-hour, 200 question exam (See above)

I am starting my prep course today and have no idea what to expect. I have been planning projects for over 10 years but this makes everything look so formal and standardized. I want to write the exam before they change the format in July so hopefully it isn't too difficult to learn everything quickly. My course is from 10am to 2pm weekdays, for 8 days. I am doing it online because it cost a quarter of the price of heading into a classroom. I did some training last month in a digital meeting space and it was fine. I love learning and am pretty excited to see what this is all about!

And Depression Hits

I spent all this week in bed, which isn't good. It took we a while to realize that it was out of sadness and not time change adjustment from the Palm Springs trip. Basically all I felt like doing was sleeping, it is my favourite escape and always has been when I am feeling depressed.

There is a lot to be sad about for sure but I found this escape into bed to be paired with the horrible negative thoughts that I often get when in a depressive crash, hopelessness, not wanting to be alive, not looking forward to anything, despair, etc. Hoping I caught it early I have decided to do the following every day and try to track it in my planner:
- Something for me
--- Mental health related: Eating well, exercise, baths, counselling, etc.
- Something for the cafe
--- Continuation of closing down Flipside: Paperwork, liquidation, financials, etc.
- Something for a job
--- Time to job hunt, which is always hard: Applications, follow ups, resume updates, etc
- Something for the house
--- It isn't fair for Jason to keep doing everything: Laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc.
- A blog post
--- It feels good to get Always Standing updated again, so adding this to the list!

No Time To Spare

I mentioned that I am working towards opening a mini-donut businesses, well from April until September that was done in my spare time. Starting in October I went down to part-time hours at The BIA and I plan to leave that job completely at the end of January.

Since getting a confirmed (purchase agreement in place, but haven't yet officially closed on it) location the workload has really increased. I have chosen to buy an existing business allowing me to skip a large part of the renovations needed for a raw space, and it also comes with some equipment.

I think I naively thought that working part-time in the office might leave a little bit of time to do more writing on Always Standing - but it turns out that starting a small business is more than a full-time job!

TB - September 2007

Throwback Thursday - Scroll to the bottom of the month and read up. Or click on the earliest post in the month (to view the post and the comments) then keep clicking Newer Post until you finish the month.

SEPTEMBER 2007

Settling into a full-time job, at GeoConnections, and going to school in the evenings (I am going to meet Erin AH and Jenn soon ... pretty sure they are both in the class I mention attending.) Looks like I signed up to help Kristen at The Charlatan and that I quit Subway, did I end up going back to Subway later? I have a hard time leaving that chain.

There is a quote from my dad! I don't exactly remember where or when or the context in which he was saying it but totally sounds like something he would say. Probably was on the phone. Sadly, I can no longer hear how his voice sounds in my head, it left quickly and I hate that it is gone. 

Noted Post: The I Can See!! post describes one of my favourite personal anecdotes, I remember it happening and I still laugh about it to this day.

One Study And I Added The L

I had read somewhere that including a middle initial on your resume increased the likelihood of being hired and having it in your name of an academic paper could lead to higher marks. It turns out that this has been written about a fair amount but upon review it all goes back to just a few studies by a couple of social psychologists.

Still, I wanted as much help as I could get so during my last job hunt I added the middle initial into my name on the letterhead that appears above my coverletter and resume - Christine L. Sweeton. (My middle name is Laura, after my late aunt.) I then also got it added to my business cards for the BIA.

There are a lot more studies related to gender bias in hiring (compared to the small studies on middle-initial-inclusion.) It is a complex issue but I suspect the fact that I have an easily understood as female name might have minuscule negative effects, but this is too depressing to think about. For now I will continue to take whatever leg-up my L. gives me!

A Different Type Of Anniversary

A year ago today, Steph left her engineering job to focus all her attention on her business Stephanie Beach Photography. It was a very brave thing to do, I was very excited for her at the time. Everything is going well, she keeps exceeding her goals and is producing beautiful work - she is also much happier. Congratulations Steph, I am very proud of you.

Come Party In The Junction!!

The Lost Summer

I ran across a video on Facebook called 25 Years of Summer Songs and all of them brought brief flashes of life back to me, except one. It was so strange to recognize each one, remember the song, reflect on my time during that year and then be confronted by a blank. It was jarring but I assumed it was probably an American list and that song wasn't popular here.

Then I thought about the year - 2004. I don't know if I would say it was the worst summer that I have had but it was a rough one: staying in Ottawa after my first year at Carleton in Engineering, to take summer courses. Working at a minimum wage job across the city that took over an hour and half on transit to get to. Dealing with a long distance serious relationship. Not many friends around because so many people return to their hometowns during that first university summer. However, that minimum wage job was at Extreme Pita, so that is full-time radio listening and I am surprised that the song didn't stick in my mind from that.

The song, Burn by Usher, seems to be pretty universally agreed to be the main song for the summer of 2004. While I recognize other songs from that same album, that one just isn't in my memory. I don't totally agree with all the picks each year, in 2001 I can remember Drops of Jupiter being a major summer song, but that might have just been personal experience. I might not be big on music but songs are still often a serious memory link.

And Why Did I Go?

So, since I haven't been away, and most people knew that I wasn't, what has been the cause of the month-long blog hiatus? A lot of friends and family have been wondering why I haven't posted, and everyone has their own ideas as to the reason behind my stalled writing on Always Standing.

Here are the theories I have heard:

- The trails of home-ownership. Nope. It has been a busy Spring at Casa Verde but more for Jason than me. He has been working on the lawn, trying to get rid of weeds and seeding in more grass. While I was in Ottawa this past weekend Faye and David came and helped Jason and Noah tear down the gross shed/kennel behind our garage.

- Newly wedded bliss. Nope. I know we just had our honeymoon, BUT. We got married in September 2016, moved in to our own house in May 2016, bought our home in December of 2015,  and we had started to live together in October 2013. So the bliss wouldn't really be the type to keep me from posting.

- My new job. Nope. While it is true that I am working long hours at the office in preparation for our big summer event, it has only stopped me from posting in that I don't want to log into a work computer to do it. We use Google for everything here and having my account on the computer to access Blogger might get tangled up in the accounts I use for work. But I often have my personal computer here so could easily pop on it during a break and fire off a post.

The actual reason:

- My tablet broke! I don't think I ever mentioned that I had my own tablet but Jason got me a very nice Google Pixel C for Christmas. (It was intended for my birthday but came so early that I got it at Christmas instead.) Well, I have been using it to post on Always Standing because it is always on hand and the Blogger interface on it is okay. I hadn't realized how much I relied on it to blog, but I do. All my Azores posts were done from the tablet, it is pretty much my main computer now. Well, the screen on it went wonky about a month ago and Jason spent some time trying to fix it but ended up having to send it away. I have it back now and posting will pick up again.

Nothing Like A Conference

I spent the last couple of days at a BIA conference related to my new job. It was a very invigorating experience, it is always so inspiring to hear what other groups are doing. I am already excited to go again next year.

One Year In The Force

Jason has been at his new company for one year today. When I previously mentioned it, I didn't say where. Well, I think a year in it is okay to say that he is employed in downtown Toronto for Salesforce, a company that works with Customer Relationship Management (CRM.) It has been nice to commute part way with him, and he is very happy not be driving each day as his last job was in Markham and not very transit accessible. I hope he continues to enjoy his job and love his work.

Execut-ing It Up

Last week, in a whirlwind - interview - job offer - contract negotiation - Board vote - start immediately - situation that spanned just four days, I became the Executive Director at The Junction Business Improvement Area. So I didn't really get much of an unemployment break at all. It really is great to be back in a BIA job, I love the concept so much. The title of Executive Director is exciting even if the realities of the position are pretty overwhelming. The neighbourhood itself is awesome, actually it is too cool for me but hopefully I will find my own way to fit in.

By the end of last week a press release introducing me to The Junction BIA Members (see left) had been sent out and people were already welcoming me to the area. The week is starting off with our website publishing the same announcement publicly. You can read it HERE.

Officially Announced

I have resigned from my position at work and HR sent out the email today to let the company know. Now that it is common/public knowledge I thought I would mention it here. My last day is March 3, 2017 and I am going to have to really ramp up my job search so that there isn't too much of an unemployment break.

New Month

There are lots of new things happening in June:

I have a new job title! This is the second change since I started two years ago. The marketing department here is small, so the role is evolving and getting redefined as the work I do changes. I really enjoy the changes actually. I swear position title adjustments are one of the easiest, cheapest, HR paths to employee satisfaction. I don't know why more companies don't take advantage of this. Even better than the new job title is that my work here has moved from a contract position to a full-time one.

This month, I want to start writing everyday again on Always Standing. May got away from me with busy weekends, trips to Edmonton, and mainly getting really sick. It has taken my all to keep regular hours at work so I have struggled with anything extra. I am starting to feel better but my body still seems to be fighting off several infections and trips to the doctor's office haven't been helping much. I am hoping for a healthy June with a lot more posts.

Besides getting back on track with my writing, I also want to be more diligent with my diet. I need to start going to Spinning regularly again and eat better. I am blaming my weight and health issues over the past month on being sick, but I am sick of being sick!!

Coaching Question - Part One

I spent the last six months attending some sessions with business coach, Evan, from Evan Thompson and Associates. It is a good point in my career (early 30's, not a manager but also no longer in an 'entry level' position) to work at professional development that was focused on soft skills instead of knowledge gain. It was interesting and valuable to concentrate on improving communication at an interpersonal level instead of thinking on the high-level communication style that marketing lends itself to.

The most profound challenge that Evan presented during our sessions was to determine what four words I would want people to use when describing my personality. It is interesting to try to put who you are into just four words.

Winning The Lottery

I just finished readying The Happiness Equation. I didn't connect with it the same way that I did with the various books by Gretchen Rubin. However, I think it would be incredible to Neil Pasricha speak; I got the sense from his book that he would be a very powerful speaker. Neil is also the person behind the website 1000 Awesome Things and the subsequent Book of Awesome series (I think Erin AH gave me the first one a while back.)

One of the interesting concepts or "Secrets to Happiness," presented in The Happiness Equation is learning to like what you have. He basically says that our constant desire to want 'more' is stressful and a barrier to happiness. Focus on being happy with what you have, where you are, and who you are in the present, he calls this Secret to Happiness, "Remember The Lottery."

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We live on the only place that can possibly support life.

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Being alive means you've already won the lottery.

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You are among the wealthiest people in the entire world. The average world income is five thousand dollars. Are you higher than that? Then you're in the top 50%. And if you're higher than fifty thousand dollars you're in the top 0.5%. Do you need much more than 99.5% of people alive? You either have the money to buy this book or you have the time to read it. Either way, you have it good!

You already have more than almost everybody on the planet.

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You have to remember the lottery.

Because you've already won.

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By Neil Pasricha

The Scenic Route

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A Sunday post about my Dad, named after a song that he loved.

Heading to Ottawa yesterday, Jason suggested that we head off of the 401 and take the Thousand Islands Parkway. I asked to do this almost every time we drive between Toronto and Ottawa, and Jason never wants to! I think since his new job is a transit commute (instead of driving) trips up to Ottawa aren't as hard on him now.

It was so nice to take the slower and prettier drive, Dad would often choose to take the 40-kilometer side road because it is more interesting to be beside the water. If we had time, and remember to us time is elastic, Dad and I both always prefer the scenic route.

I also saw, and totally recognized from the building (and then later saw the name), the place where Erin and Matt got married.

Who Even Are You?

Jason started a new job yesterday. He came home with a MacBookPro and is going to be getting a new iPhone as well. I couldn't believe it! I knew that if he stayed with his previous job his plan was to change his equipment at the next upgrade over to Apple products, but I think part of me thought he was joking.

How can a computer programmer want a Mac? Maybe he doesn't spend a lot of time in Excel, using spreadsheets is way easier on PCs, I don't like the Apple version at all, even the Microsoft releases for Macs is bad.

I guess I have never really ranted against Apple products on Always Standing before. Just some quick mentions that they are difficult to get used to and leave me feeling lost. I don't really like Apple as a company or its products. (Even though I once raved about an iPad - that was before I had seen other tablets.) I don't have time to get into it right now but I am a PC girl to the end!

Also, I gather that the woman who narrates the new iPhone (iPhone 6s) commercials sounds like me, especially the one about the moving photos feature. Check it out HERE and let me know.