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Halloween In Quarantine

Disclaimer: Ok, so we aren't really in Quarantine at the moment or even doing extreme self-isolation, but it rhymes better with Halloween than "pandemic" or "covid" does.

Happy Halloween!

Jason and I on Oct 31, 2020

Selfie taken with Jason's Phone

I think this is the first year at Casa Verde that we haven't given out candy! We normally get between 50 and 100 trick-or-treaters, it is hard to keep track because Jason messes with my system of counting (he gives more than one piece of candy, and eats it while handing out, so who knows what our real numbers are.) This year we here highly discouraged from doing the traditional Halloween celebration in Toronto because we are a 'hot zone' with substantial increase in Covid cases recently. So our blinds were pulled, and lights turned off, super sad!

So, why are we dressed up this year? Well, we did a on-video, in-costume, mini-raid (20 instead of 40 players) on WoW. Our costumes were put together about 15 minutes before it started, since I do still have a dress up box with various bits and pieces; which is now also home to Jason's cowboy hat I made him buy for the Calgary Stampede.

There was still fun for kids, I am part of a local neighbourhood parents group on Facebook and a women in the area arranged for a physically distanced parade, scavenger hunt (we were an 'eye ball house' check out photo), and ghost message game in a nearby park. All the kids in the parade got a treat bag (I sent her a bit of money towards making them). 

The activity sheets were posted on Facebook and we printed off the one for the park to try it out. It was quite the challenge! Jason and I spent over an hour wandering around the park to do it, we had to find 100 little ghosts and then colour in squares on a grid to learn the message. We found 95 of them and discovered that the answer to "What does a ghost say?" is "Boo!" I took a picture of Jason working on it, he took over the colouring part right away, and my job was to hold the pencil crayons. It might have been designed for kids, but I had a great time!

Avery And Maya

We did not get to see my brother and his family for long enough - the trouble with driving is that it takes so long to get out to Alberta (and so long to get back) that is doesn't leave much time for actually visiting. The kids were awesome and hilarious, I can't believe we haven't seen them since Palm Springs this past November. Here is my favourite quote from this visit...

Avery: Maya hates me.
Me: No, that can't be true. You're her brother, she loves you.

Avery: Uh-uh, she doesn't like me.

Maya: I like you!

Avery: No, Maya wouldn't like me if I ate her.

Me: Umm, I guess that is true?

Maya: Yeah, if Avery eats me, I will kill him.

Jason: confused I don't think you can kill him if he has eaten you.

Me: confused that Jason is trying to add logic into any of this

Teri Is Famous!

During her maternity leave with J.G.M., Ter has joined a weekly creative class at a local parenting centre (that is roughly connected to the Early ON program.) Turns out she and J ended up in the promotional video for it! Check it out HERE!

You can see Teri (purple sweater) nodding at the instructor around the -0.24 point, and then right after that you see her again with J.G.M. (little pale blue hoodie) who has his back to the camera and is playing in sand.

I think the kiddie pool filled up with different sizes and types of balls looks like fun and I wish that they had that for adults. Also, this centre in Oakville looks way nicer that the various government ones that I have seen here in Toronto.

Great Love Song

Watch the clip above, or go check it out on YouTube. If you don't have sound then at least read the lyrics. Afterwards, see my thoughts in the comments section of this post.

An Evening Flight

This is my first post about the big Hungary/Romania trip! When Mom posts about trips over on her blog, she does a nice job of naming and dating posts so that her travels appear in cohesive diary entries. I have done that in the past but I don't know how organized I will be at the moment as this trip involves piles of people, a wedding, a road trip and at the same time I am trying to stay on top of The Shop via my phone and computer. 

- Wednesday evening, after working all day and frantically packing, Jason and I made our way to Toronto airport to catch an overnight direct flight to Budapest.

- Teri, Greg, their new baby, and Matty were on the flight with us. Also on the flight was Diana2 and her husband Jas. We were all seated in the back section of the plane but kept to ourselves for the most part to try to sleep.

- I did manage to sleep and enjoy the wonderful bland food. I really love airplane food. Jason and I got one of each type and he was disgusted by the flavourless chicken so we switch because I am just content with anything that isn't spicy and comes divided out so it isn't touching.

- There was an annoying clapping thing when the plane landed, why doesn't anyone clap when I do my job well? However, I would say it was a very lovely landing, but still, the clapping thing is always strange to me.

Stay tuned, I hope to keep everyone updated and will post soon about our adventures around Budapest and beyond.

My Babies!

As I mentioned, my mom has been in Edmonton visiting My Babies. This is why she wasn't at The Cottage for the long weekend. It feels like it has been forever since I got a chance to see Mike, Aimee, Avery, and Maya. I think the last time was summer last year, so we are edging towards a year. That is a long time, babies become different people sometimes in days. It is great to see photos when mom goes, which she always puts on her blog. Here are the posts from her recent trip out west to see her grandkids:
- Intro Post, tons of photos, tons of smiles
- Out and About, lots more pictures, you can see how mobile they are now
- Duck Photos, short post, great shot of Maya
- Final Posts, photos really show how much Maya has grown, and Mike (probably Aimee) shows me up by remembering Mom's birthday and getting her a cake.

I may not see them often, and I worry that my niblings don't know or remember who I am, but Mike makes sure she has them say 'Hi' to me whenever I call. We don't talk on the phone often but when we do there is usually a point where Mike is getting the kids to, 'Say Hi to Aunty Chris' which is always adorable because it isn't easy to pronounce. (When we were little Mike called me 'teen' because he couldn't say 'Christine'.) I think 'Ch' part is hard for babies. I miss them so much, it is always adorable to hear them try. Then there was this recent phone exchange with Mike:
Me: Ok, I gotta go. I love you.
Mike: Ok, talk to you later.
Me: Hey! Tell me you love me. (This is a normal thing I do at the end of a call with him, he usually relents and does it. I take my forced affection when I can get it.)
Mike: ...
Me: Tell me you love me.
Mike: (Away from the phone) HEY, KIDS, come here. Tell Aunty Chris she's stinky.
Chorus of two little voices: Aunty Tiss your stinkyyyy.
Me: Ok, fine, that works. I love you. Bye. (I guess I will take forced insults from my babies when I can get it too.)

Motherhood - Epidural

Excerpts from New York Times article 'Get the Epidural' by Jessi Klein

No one ever asks a man if he’s having a “natural root canal.” No one ever asks if a man is having a “natural vasectomy.”

“What are you trying to win?” What was I trying to win? I thought about it and realized — nothing. There’s nothing to win.

“There is science showing all the risks of an epidural!” Well, again, I am not a doctor, but I do have the internet.

There are so many debates in this life in which there is some evidence of one thing and also some evidence of the other. At such a point, you just have to decide to believe in and do what is best for you. So here’s a radical idea: Why not do the thing that makes you happy?

There is so much pressure on women around birth and labor and mothering to do it this way or that way. It’s so easy to believe the notion that having a baby demands complete and total self-abnegation, and anything short of that is not enough.

If you’re worried that skipping the pain of childbirth means you’re somehow cheating your baby, or yourself, you’re not. Because the truth is, life offers more than enough pain that you will not be able to skip. 

Yup, give me the epidural! There has never been any question in my mind, if I am ever giving birth I will be getting the epidural and any other pain killers/drugs they can throw my way. I like modern medicine - I like making pain go away.

I have heard the positives from the other side, friends and acquaintances that wanted/tried/had a drug-less birth or some variation. For the most part their reasons made sense. Rarely are these people conspiracy-theory hippies, or self-flagellating mommy-martyrs, though sometimes. For the vast majority they made (or tired/planned to make) a personal choice based on what was important to them.

What is great from all my conversations on the topic is that this seems to be very much a personal choice and an understanding that there are reasons to make the decision either way. Some pregnancy or parenting subjects have strong reactions, judgement, and opinions about right/wrong, unlike what the article suggests, I don't get the feeling that the choice to get an epidural is one of those.

Those who have been through it: Please share in the comments if leading up to birth, during, or afterwards friends, family or event strangers were sharing strong hurtful opinions about your choice to have or decline an epidural?

I am inclined to say, and have said, to someone planning on forgoing an epidural, "Are you crazy? What about the pain? I would totally get all the drugs!" Which I hope isn't viewed as hurtful, it is the same response I would give someone who is suffering through a headache and not taking an Advil. It is an expression of awe at someone else' pain tolerance and not a judgement about the choice they are making for their body.

In my experience, the most common reason against getting an epidural has been the ability to walk afterwards instead of waiting until the drugs wear off, and with that a faster departure from the hospital. Personally I love hospitals so that reason doesn't apply to me. Also I just absolutely hate pain, I used to take Tylenao 3s (from my high-school wisdom teeth removal) to get my legs waxed. Hit me up with the drugs! But you do you.

No Enough Of My Mother

After spending the last few months in Spain, and now visiting Mike, Aimee, Avery, and Maya in Edmonton for a few weeks, it seems like I haven't see Mom much since our Africa trip in January. I wanted to make a Mother's Day post and went looking for a photo on my computer - I only have the shots from Africa, and I didn't take many of people. I understand the thrill of the animals and wanting all the amazing pictures of them, but it is sad that I don't have many of us - the time spent together with friends and family is really important and I am just not documenting it as much as I should. (See photo on right that I got - Mom taking photos at Blyde River Canyon.)

So, Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you and I miss you, and I am so glad we got to spend our first big visit to Africa together. In honour of that, here are some baby/parent pictures from that trip.

Unless noted, photos are taken by me (and not edited) please click to see larger. All from our trip in January 2018:

Parents and Baby African Penguins

The young ones are fuzzy, not as cute as expected, 

fully grown is adorable though.

 Two Little Dassies with Their Mommy

Cute rodent thing found on Table Mountain, closest relative is an elephant.

 Baby Baboon Runs to the Grown Ups (By Jason)

It was estimated that this little guy was only a couple of days old, so tiny.

 Young Impala Nursing (By Jason)

They very violently nursed! 

It did not look pleasant, the mothers were not pleased.

 Mother Peacock Watches Over Her Baby (By Jason)

Never seen a baby peacock before, 

there were a bunch, very interesting and quite cute.

 A Wee Elephant Stays Close For Protection

The baby elephants were the best, most large herds had at least one.

 A Zebra Foal (By Jason)

My Mom has better shots on her blog, he stayed close to his mom.

 Two Tiny Black Velvet Monkeys and Their Mother

These were 'my monkeys' because I often saw them from the bus 

and no one believed me.

Motherhood - Regret

Excerpts from Maclean's article 'I regret having children' by Anne Kingston.

Amy deviates from the maternal script: if she could make that choice over again, she says, she wouldn’t. She never wanted children (“I was very independent,” she says)—her husband did. “It would have been a deal-breaker.” Parenthood put an untenable strain on the marriage; her husband wasn’t as involved as she wanted; they separated. Life is difficult, Amy reports: “Our child has two homes and I’m still doing 90 per cent of it on my own.”

Unsurprisingly, women who express regret are called selfish, unnatural, abusive “bad moms” or believed to “exemplify the ‘whining’ culture we allegedly live in.”

Brown called her children “the best things I have ever done” and assured readers she wasn’t “a monster” before expressing conflicted feelings: “What I’m struggling with is that it feels like their amazing life comes at the expense of my own,” she wrote, expressing remorse for “this life I wanted so badly and now find myself trapped in.”

Feeling trapped or suffocated is a common theme in Donath’s work; mothers felt “as if the metaphorical umbilical cord binding them to their children were in fact wrapped around their neck.” Many women said they felt pressured to have children.

Simultaneously, the demanding, exhausting, self-sacrificing and often thankless work of mothering [...] has never been more restrictive, scrutinized and questioned.

Research debunking the myth that babies have a bonding effect on marriage or that children bring happiness: a 2010 American Sociological Association study found that parents were more likely to be depressed than their child-free counterparts, and that people without kids were happier than any other group.

Parental regret also highlights gendered asymmetry around parenting; while fathers are increasingly active in child-raising, most child care and housework is still performed by women, as data from StatsCan’s 2015 General Social Survey indicates.

Fathers’ regret tends to be expressed with their feet, says York University’s O’Reilly. “They walk away.”

“Men’s identity is never collapsed into their parental one; if you’re a bad mother, you’re a bad woman. If a father is late at daycare, it’s ‘Poor thing, he’s busy.’ A mother who’s late is viewed as selfish and irresponsible.”

“The reality of motherhood is incontinence, boredom, weight gain, saggy breasts, depression, the end of romance, lack of sleep, dumbing down, career downturn, loss of sex drive, poverty, exhaustion and lack of fulfillment.”

A Watery Weekend

Had a great time at Great Wolf Lodge with Jason's family this past weekend. I love playing in waterparks! Totally exhausted today and jealous that Jason gets to work from home. The damp heat of an indoor waterpark along with hiking up tons of staircases to do the waterslides, add in running after and carrying children -- I am pretty worn out.

I also did The Wolf Tail slide, which is the same design as one of the slides at West Edmonton Mall. Jason and I went to the waterpark there with ERin and Matt last Christmas.

Itinerary Update - Swaziland

Pre-Scheduled Post: Thursday - Swaziland Sightseeing and Matsamo Village Visit
As per our trip itinerary (bar any issues/changes/complications etc.) we will ....

After breakfast, visit the Ngwenya glass factory, where visitors can watch talented glass blowers create a range of enchanting African animals, birds, and fish, as well as tableware, made from recycled glass that is collected by the children of Swaziland. Transfer to the South African border and visit Matsamo Cultural Village, learn more about the Swazi traditions and customs. Enjoy traditional dance and song performances with authentic African instruments as well as traditional Swazi cuisine. Wander through the village with its many traditional huts and interact with the locals.

New Milestones

The following photo, and caption, was posted to Taylor's instagram a few days ago:

We measure the moment they take their first steps, first word, first day of school... but it’s the small milestones that make me all mushy. First LEGO set put together ALL BY HIMSELF! #excusemewhileicry #legomania #bigkidsclub

Congratulations Lochlan! And it doesn't look like it was an easy one. It is true that it is a milestone registered by parents (and relatives) and I don't think it is even a small one. Jason was really excited when his nephew reached an age were he could be given 'real' lego instead of the larger duplo style.

Doesn't Have A Tot

This weekend, on October 28, 2017, the first annual Isaac’s Trek for Treats will be taking place at the Tanners Drive Park, in Acton, Ontario, to raise money for Jesse’s Journey. Isaac’s Trek for Treats is a family friendly costume trail run. This is a really exciting event and I wish I could be there (but I am running an event at work the same day - thankfully it is the last year that the BIA is running it so I will be in Acton for Isaac's Trek every year moving forward.)

The Isaac named here is actually our nephew, who was diagnosed with Duchenne's Muscular Dystrophy last year. His mother, Jason's sister, is organizing the event - here is an article written recently about the family.

Jason is going this year, and has registered as a participant to help raise funds. The funny thing though is that it is a family event that is mainly for children - so he had to sign up as a 'parent with tot,' hopefully he can borrow a baby to run the race with. Please sponsor Jason and give to this worthy cause!!

Yes, This Describes It Well

Seen today on a chalkboard outside a convenience store near The Junction (technically a few streets away from the BIA). This really captures the neighbourhood:

Metropasses

Figet Spinners

Egg Whites

- SOLD HERE -

Another Great Meme

This time, it is a homemade variation of the Expectation vs. Reality meme that Taylor posted on Facebook featuring her, Lochlan, and Cadence. Love it!

What I thought yoga with kids would be like versus real life.

By Taylor (though Mark probably took the photo.)

So Many Babies

I am always slow to get out congratulations, and this past spring has seen a whole pile of babies. So here are the new humans in my life (not alphabetically, not chronologically, literally in no particular order):

Nic and Drew have expanded their beautiful family one further, bringing Canada a new little wombat. I have only met her once but Rosie is just the sweetest. They are all renting The Cottage next week so can show the new little one their 'Beach House'. (Photo Right)

Christopher keeps bringing us Canadian content and just a few weeks ago became the proud father of Elliott. He lives, with his lovely wife Heather, just a couple of doors down from James and Mike so Elliott will be able to spend lots of time with his cousins Ava and Aiden. And the grandparents are around the corner too - such a cool city family - it is the Toronto dream.

Canada Day celebrations were even more special than usual for Pat and Michelle, who spent the entire day in labour. Fitting date - as they have been known to host an epic pool party on it in the past. Liam arrived in the early hours of July 2. I am so happy for this little family and the many adventures they will have together. (Photo left)

I can't believe how much Henry looks like his dad Marc. Marc and Christine are up in Ottawa. Henry was born in March, quite a bit early I believe. But he is doing wonderfully, even if Marc is going to have him cheer for all the worst sports teams (Boston? Really?)

P and E also named their little boy Henry, who was born a few months ago. At the moment he is keeping a very quiet social media presence. I have had the chance to see him and can report that he is super cute.

Babies are going to keep on coming with Lauren due any minute and JennD expecting her second little one in the Fall.

Six Hours In

I didn't get a chance to sleep on the plane, so arrived with Jason this morning in The Azores, for our honeymoon, pretty damn exhausted. After touring around a solid portion of Sao Miguel Island (it is quite small) while we waited to check into our hotel, I came up with the following delirious impression...

The Azores is like Spain and Hawaii had a secret love child 500 years ago and didn't tell anyone about it. They just put the kid the middle of the Atlantic Ocean and gave it to Portugal to look after. All lush landscapes with volcanic geology, green vegetation, and bright tropical flowers interspersed throughout by classic Latin/Mediterranean style architecture and European towns/culture. It is an amazing merger that to some degree feels very familiar but at the same time is like no where else.

Like you would expect from a hidden illegitimate child, The Azores, both the islands and their population, are quiet. Comfortable with their complicated and unique identity but also very reserved about it. Most people speak English and Spanish (and more) but they occasionally point out the difference in those languages as they connect to Portuguese, the main one spoken here.

The weather changes on a dime many times throughout the day, a bit moody I guess. Flipping from cloud covered mountains to rainy coasts to stretches of blue skies across patch work stone fenced fields. The weather doesn't stay the same very long but it also doesn't seem to be too extreme.

Lastly, they got pretty into cows. Bit of an obsession, cows are everywhere and wander all over the roads at times - even major highways.

Basically this place is strange and amazing but also absolutely STUNNING! I can't wait to explore everything from the waves crashing on the coastlines to the black lava rocks on the hill tops and everything in between. Stay turned for more updates.

Motherhood - The Housewife In Literature

Excerpts from Ladies of Leisure: The resurgence of the housewife novel by Laura Miller:

It’s a wonder that anyone has the nerve to write about housewives at all anymore: Not only are these women bored, but they have been universally declared boring.

The readership for fiction is and has always been predominantly female and middle-class.

She is a wife and mother, roles that seem to have taken over her identity. Yet she looks down on women like that—most of whom, she can’t help noticing, are better at being wives and mothers than she is.

A 2014 novel that, while not technically about a housewife, wrestles with the same conflict between family life and self-determination, and it’s clear that the theme is enjoying a minirevival of sorts.

It’s as if such women can no long support a full-fledged novel, as if it’s impossible to imagine that these women could be happy, but equally impossible to take their unhappiness seriously.

But the housewife does have one last thing to offer novelists: An opportunity to flaunt their literary technique. The housewife is to the novelist what the still life is to the painter: a subject whose banality will take a back seat to her creator’s display of virtuosity.

She passive-aggressively rebels against her joyless, lonely existence in an unwelcoming foreign land by falling into a series of affairs.

To be so materially lucky that you’re not allowed to experience any discontent at all turns out to be just another way of being swallowed up by your social role.

She’s bored. She’s anxious. She’s guilt-ridden. She’s exhausted and frustrated and probably depressed.

Perhaps she’s refusing to acknowledge her own freedom, or perhaps she knows something the rest of us don’t. A lady of the house, a woman of leisure— with all that anyone in their right mind wants—she’s still dissatisfied. So have been many housewives before her, and so are many housewives today. But before we condemn them for their perversity and their tedious complaints, it’s worth remembering this: That’s always been one of the reasons they read so many novels.

Just Read

I like this graphic from Indigo, even if it is just a call for consumerism. Buying books is awesome, but remember libraries! Still, the love of reading is one of my greatest joys:

I have a couple of comments about it though; firstly, everyone incorporates rhymes before the age of two - babies love rhythm, that is what lullabies and nursery rhymes are all about. Also, I hate the idea of rereading books, I really don't want to read the same thing for a second time that day. I am hoping that I will be able to continue to refuse the reread, but I know that repetition within the day is inevitable with children. I hope to stay strong and only read something once a 'sitting.' As long as there are enough books around than there will be tons of options - remember libraries!