Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dreams. Show all posts

Monday, 30 September 2019

Wow, That Was A Whirlwind!

Flipside is closed now. After spending the Fall last year working on the creation of my cafe/bar, mini-donut shop concept, I took possession of a beautiful 1000-square-foot space in Toronto's Historic Distillery District at the start of 2019. It took two full months to renovate the space and continue to work on development. We opened for weekends in March, did six days a week in April, and then, starting in May, we were open everyday until this past Friday when I decided to close down.

It was a heartbreaking decision, which like all my decisions was made very quickly when the financial reality of my situation presented two options: crash and burn in a flurry of bankruptcy sometime in mid-2020 or exit gracefully by the end of the month with a lot of debt. I didn't want to ruin supplier relationships or deal with collection agencies hunting me down, I have been feeling like I was in over my head since the start and the idea that things were going to soon take a much worse turn didn't sit well.

The weekend was spent crying, cleaning, and packing up a shop that I have spent a literal year building. The painful implosion of a lifelong dream of hospitality small business ownership. I am not as devastated as I thought I would be, the year has been very challenging and I am definitely worn down. A second blow to my already fragile emotional state was that instead of getting everything moved into storage, at the last minute all my equipment and supplies ended up going into the garage, porch and dining room at Casa Verde. Now I get to be surrounded by the byproducts of my dream's demise everyday.

I locked the door and gave back the keys today. No more Flipside, I am gutted to be saying goodbye to this incredible experience.

Friday, 28 October 2016

Steph On Dave

Steph has been participating in the Rising Tide Society's InstaTideChallenge this week. It has been nice to get a little glimpse into her daily life as a professional photographer through her Instagram feed, which normally features her work and nothing about her as the worker.

Today she posted the following photo of Dave, with a beautiful passage she wrote about his role in their two-person team, how he supports her, and the awesome love and life that they share. Having known Dave for almost as long as I have known with Steph, I am also good friends with him. This is such a beautiful tribute to the incredible person that he is. He is the only partner who could be close to good enough to my Steph and their love is one for the ages.

Check out the image and her comment below from Instagram:

Words and photo below:
Copyright 2016 - Stephanie Beach Photography


Today is the final day of the risingtidesociety InstaTideChallenge where we celebrate another creative who inspires us. Ottawa is absolutely filled with amazing talents who inspire me on a regular basis, but I felt I should give credit to the other half our my husband-and-wife team, the tall guy with the bow-tie as I often describe him on wedding days – my husband and second shooter Dave.

He is always looking for new, super creative ways to capture our couples and their moments, never too tired to get one more shot and never complains when I want to stay longer on wedding days to ensure we get everything covered. He’s forever in my corner rooting me on and supporting me as I follow this amazing dream of mine. And although photography was something he initially picked up through me, he has definitely created his own voice through it and has a unique style all his own. I often find myself culling through our images and thinking how lovely the shots are and pleasantly surprised by the new angles and compositions he worked with.

This is a behind the scenes shot I grabbed during one of our favourite weddings that I think sums up Dave’s style pretty nicely – adventurous and creative. He is willing to do just about anything to get the shot he has in mind, including scaling walls.

Above all else, he is an absolute delight to work with, not only because he is my husband and I love him to pieces, but he is so sweet and thoughtful with our clients and their friends and families. I simply couldn’t ask for a better partner in this journey and his creativity truly inspires me every day.

Thursday, 20 October 2016

Not My House

---------- from Facebook


Sure, I would love a Spacious Mansion, but that is never going to happen! (Though that is totally what Le Manior was, a dilapidated but spacious mansion. Remember THIS PHOTO was only the side of it, the front faced the street to the right.)

Let me know in the comments what your home should be and if you agree.

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

This Is Why We Are Here

Worth The White Knuckles
Cruze-ing on the Pacific Coast Highway
Photo by me with my phone

Stopping our rental car at one of the many beautiful Vista Points along California State Road 1 - in Mendocino County, a highway that can be quite thin and twisting at times. Teri is a bit uncomfortable with the cliffs and tight turns, which I admit are really intense. We are driving slowly, partly because the view is just so amazing. It isn't a Viper RT/10 Roadster, but it is still a fun drive in the red 2015 Chevy Cruze.

Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Signs From Heaven

------ From Facebook, from Matt Fraser

Some examples of things that dead loved ones may have used to communicate with you:

- repeating time on the clock 11:11, 12:12, or waking up at the time when they passed
- meaningful song on the radio
- birds, butterfly, signs in nature
- lights flickering
- phone calls from their number
- visits in dreams
- smells such as cigar smoke, perfume, etc
- see some who look exactly like your loved one in a public place or on tv
- finding pennies or dimes
- feeling their presence in the room with you
- random memories that just come to mind

(I believe in the concept, but not all of these apply to me.)

Wednesday, 16 April 2014

Chart It

Chart For The Next 28 Days

I needed to make a list
A list everyday
Eat 3 meals, floss, walk
Search, apply, repeat

When my daydreams get bad
I run home
Everyone saw it coming
Even me, I was scared

I wish I was stronger

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Shattered

Rough day today as I realized I had been deluding myself a bit about Paris and my dad. I think on some level I thought I was going to go and see him. I catch myself with these strange subconscious delusions every now and then. I don't realize that I am doing it, because if I did I would know that I was being stupid. For example, seeing the something and it making me think, "Oh, next time I see Dad I will need to ask him about it" or "I should call Dad and tell him about that." I think it so quickly, as part of a pile of other rapid thoughts that I don't notice until the third or fourth time it happens. When I do clue in to it happening, it is always so upsetting.

So, on some level, off and on for the last week or two, I have been thinking that both my parents are in Paris and have been excited to head off Wednesday night to go see them. It was painful to realize on a more conscious level today what I had been quietly deluding myself into feeling/thinking. It was actually shattering, he isn't going to be there!

Mom and Dad always visited Granny and Pa when they were off staying somewhere abroad for a long period of time. I was always excited for the shift of generations to occur and that Mom and Dad would be off living somewhere amazing for a couple of months and I would take my significant other to go and visit. That dream isn't gone, but it has been adjusted and the gap of not having Dad there is really weighing on my today as I start to wrap my head around leaving for Paris tomorrow.

Sunday, 23 March 2014

I Met Gail

I met Gail Vaz-Oxlade yesterday at a fundraising event for the shelter that Taylor works at. This was an amazing dream come true. (Well the full dream would be to be coached by her financially like on one of her shows but this was pretty much the next best thing!) I took K and Taylor met us there. The presentation she gave included a couple of Financial Literacy tests and I was not as good as I thought I would be! Mainly I don't have quite enough saved for an emergency (should have 6 months worth of expenses and I probably have about 2 or 3). I also do not know enough about TSFAs, RRSPs, or RESPs and how to use them to my advantage. I got lots of good ideas for Always Standing posts and now I want to do a Monday Money Tip thing, but I have so many series going on right now that I don't know it is a good idea to clog up the blog with them. But I do want to set up a 'Tribe' on her My Money My Choices program, but I will post more about that later. I got her to sign my copy of Debt Free Forever, which is my favourite of her books. It is by far the best self-help style book I have ever read. I think everyone should own it! Ignore the Debt part, since the book is practical whether you have debt or not, really it is just about smart money management.

Monday, 24 February 2014

Car Dreams

As I mentioned before, for Christmas, Jason gave me a car racing game for the Xbox One, Forza Motorsport 5. One of the best parts of it is that you get to customize and decorate cars. (I doubt most people who play it would call it decorating though.) Here is the first one I made:

My Custom Hyundai Genesis
Photo of the TV, with Jason's phone

The 'decorating' feature has lots of number, letters, patterns, and logos to add to all different areas of the car, and using them is very very intuitive. This is especially true when I compare it to the things I am learning at the Photoshop Course, as that program is not very intuitive; this makes me appreciate Forza even more. Whenever I win, or buy, a new car in the game I can customize features and the paint job. I have decided that my entire fleet of cars will feature matte black paint jobs and then I will change up the designs and additions. (For example I added the red honeycomb pattern on this.) In real life, I have been admiring the Hyundai Genesis for a while now, it is definitely my favorite 'practical' car at the moment.

Monday, 9 December 2013

My Actual Christmas List

There is honestly just one thing:

I want my dad back.

The only way this could really be possible is for me to wake up. I would give anything, literally anything short of my own or another's life, for this is be a terrible nightmare. (I guess I am in the 'bargaining' stage of grief because I am actually begging here for this to happen.) It would mean going back in time, to who knows when, but I want to wake up and find out he is still here. However, this has just gone on for way too long and been so terribly real for there to be any likelihood that I am dreaming - for example, I have never written a blog post in a dream before. But I want my dad more than anything right now.

Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Where are you? Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, I miss you! Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, How did this happen? Dad, Dad, Dad, Come back! Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad...

Thursday, 28 November 2013

Living A Nightmare

I woke up today and my dad was still dead.

(On a softer note, this is what I posted on Facebook this morning.)

Sunday, 17 March 2013

This Is Las Vegas

This is from a book that I gave my dad for Father's Day a few years ago, according to the inscription I made in the front, 2009 actually. I don't even really remember that, or where I bought it but I picked it up this weekend while I was at the cottage and finished the whole thing in a day and a half - quite the fun little read! I thought the following section was particularly good as it is fitting for both my love of Las Vegas and the current debate about Toronto possibly getting a casino:

"The casinos lie out there on the baked earth like extravagant toys discarded on a beach, their signs looping, beckoning, spiraling, and fizzing recklessly, as in that moment of glory just before the batteries run down.  'Las Vegas,' wrote Tom Wolfe, 'is the only town in the world whose skyline is made up neither of buildings, like New York, nor of trees, like Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but signs.  One can look at Las Vegas from a mile away on Route 91 and see no buildings, no trees, only signs.'  But what the signs are signaling so hectically are invitations less to luck than to fantasy.  The Strip is a Disneyland for the middle-aged, its hotels conceived not just as places to stay but as Hollywood sets, each built around an idea, each offering its guests the chance to star in the movie of their choice.  Those who have secretly hankered after Ben Hur go to Ceaser's Palace, where they can lounge on Cleopatra's Barge (with a view of the gaming tables) while their drinks are served by girls dressed as Roman slaves.  At Aladdin's, it's The Arabian Nights, at the Dunes and the Sahara discrete versions of The Desert Song, and at Circus-Circus Big Top, with trapeze artists flying about above your head while you gamble and a gallery of battering sideshows to bemuse the children.  Each is a world in itself, staffed by upward of three thousand people, with its own swimming pool, gymnasium, and arcade of expensive shops; many of the hotels have tennis courts or golf courses, and most of them stage elaborate supper shows, with famous stars and full supporting casts, more lavish and expensively staged than Broadway musicals.  Together they constitute a kind of movieland version of the Borscht Belt, with gambling as an added element of fantasy and release.  They also offer anyone with even a modest bankroll an appearance of the opulence, luxury, and obsequious service that is elsewhere reserved for the very rich.  For the few days his money lasts, the Las Vegas tourist can in every possible way feel like a film star.

The typical guest at a Strip hotel is a middle-aged and middle class - over a quarter of the guests are college graduates, a fifth are self-employed- and that is how the casinos want it.  They are more interested in turnover than in the really high rollers.  This is why they have failed to attract the oil-rich Arabs who fuel the gambling economy of Europe.  The Arabs, I was told, find Las Vegas rules too restrictive.  If they bet the table limit on a single number at roulette, they are not allowed to double that bet on a split number, or treble or quadruple it on a three-way or four-way chance, as they can in London.  The conglomerates that now own most of the casinos do not want million-dollar winners, or even million-dollar losers.  They want steadier, more moderate customers-those who will win or lose tens of thousands of dollars at most.  Which is, of course, more than enough to wipe out the majority of us.  But in the world of really big-time gambling they order these things differently, and Las Vegas has lost out as a result.  Its casinos turn over more than a billion dollars a year, but democratically, from twelve million weekenders, conventioneers, and passing tourists and some sixty thousand couples served annually by the town's second industry-quick marriages."

From The Biggest Game In Town by A. Alvarez, 1983
(And a big thank you to Jason for typing out the above passage for me while I watered my parent's plants.)

Thursday, 14 March 2013

A Little Sensitive Today

I am feeling blue/mopy/sad. I think it is PMS.Wish I was in a better mood.

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Now I Want A House

Last summer, I was dreaming about moving into an apartment building closer to work. However, over the past few months I have fallen out of favour with the idea of living in a large building. I now agree with Kristen, who never wanted to live in one, which is why Rrunuv Bayit is in a walk-up style of apartment instead of a large building.

I think I will need to keep living in an apartment for a long time though, since Toronto is so very expensive. However, eventually I would like to have a house (with a lot, I really like the idea of owning something that is connected to land.)

However, I found the perfect place - though it isn't that close to transit. 98 Old Colony Road! I know I said in that other post that "At night I literally dream about this place, the thought of it takes my breath away!" and I was talking about living in the Toy Factory Lofts. But I actually dreampt of this place before ever knowing it even existed! The Disney-Belle style library is what sold me, before I even scrolled down to see everything else. However, it looks like my dream has increased from $2.5 million to almost $8 million.

Thursday, 31 January 2013

Shut It Down

After weeks of excitement, chat, thought, and early prep, I am closing down my 'almost company' before it even begins. I had wanted to start a baby product subscription box service in Canada called Baby Crates:


I had been researching daily, learning about the market, business model, etc. I was sure that this was not avalible in Canada yet and that I could start something fun and unique here. Well, today I ran across LittleEcoFootprint which is starting this very month. LittleEcoFootprint is a new Canadian subscription box for new moms focused on healthy, natural and Eco-friendly products, which wouldn't have been my slant but is close enough to cancel my plans. However, I still love the subscription box business model and don't want to walk away from the idea of starting my own business, but Baby Crates is over.

I want to thank all my friends and family who have talked with me about this over the past month. Your support and ideas have been so wonderful and helpful. Thank you!

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Changing My Thoughts

It worked! It worked! I am thinking in stories again! Playing with words in my head! I didn't really know what I was doing when I decided on it, but forcing myself to do a blog post everyday has moved my mind back a little bit more towards that writer in me that sometimes gets lost. And, I am reading more, so much so that I am missing Subway stops because of it (more on this later - I plan to write about it.) It really is a practice thing, the more you do it, the more you think about it, the easier it gets. I don't have any notions that this will improve the quality of my writing but I am just so happy that it is improving the ease at which I do it. I think about descriptions now, try to adjust well known plots and twist them into something new, I spend more time in my head imagining other worlds. I love it. It is a change that makes me very happy.

Friday, 1 June 2012

A Shorter Commute

Today it is raining in Toronto. All last month we experienced very little 'May Showers' then June hits and there is a massive downpour. I would love to complain about my commute - it seems like everyone does. However, it isn't overly lengthy (ranges from 40min to an hour) or horribly complex (streetcar and then bus or subway then streetcar dependent on the route) or super crowded (I can get a seat about 95% of the time and 60% of the time Kristen and I can sit together.) But, I could live where I work and walk to work - that would be sweet. Actually, it would be especially sweet since I love working in Liberty Village and I'm sure I would enjoy living here too!

Here are some of my options:

Penthouse at The Toy Factory Lofts
This is a 3,000 square foot, 3-bedroom apartment in a century-old factory-turned-condo. In fact, it used to be the Irwin Toy Factory, a company I had stocks in as a children, which were a gift from my Aunty Laura so that I could go to the company's AGM each year and play with the cool new products that were in development. Toronto Life has done an article about the space, with photos. This apartment has 14 foot ceilings, 5 balconies, 4 bathrooms, and a sauna. At night I literally dream about this place, the thought of it takes my breath away!
Cost: $2,575,000

A One Bedroom in Vibe
The Vibe condo building is very nice; it has a gym, indoor pool, party room, and all the other things that nice condominiums in Toronto offer. While this apartment has only one bedroom, it does have two bathrooms and a very large balcony. The living space is spread over two levels which is interesting, but in total it is only 700 square feet. Basically this is closer to the reality of something I might buy/live in one day.
Cost: $339,900

It really doesn't look like I will be moving closer to work anytime soon. Truthfully, I love my apartment and every time I even glance at what else is available to rent or own in Toronto I am reminded how amazing Rrunuv Bayit is and how lucky I am to live in such an awesome place for such a great rate.

Sunday, 10 October 2010

Special?

Today is 10-10-10. I don't know if that means anything. Is it special or significant in any way? I think a thousand years ago it would have been more impressive 10-10-1010. Still, it just looks interesting, it is all in the aesthetic, like wishing at 11:11.That doesn't mean anything. Wait, I do that, every time I see it, often announcing to those around so that they can do it too. I guess 10-10-10 is no different, let's all make a wish!

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Itchy

Hanging Temple
Datong, China
Photo by Me

I am already craving another trip. My parents are going to Cuba in December and I'm a little jealous. I have never been to an all-inclusive resort and would love a vacation. But, I would also like to go travelling again. I don't even know where it is I want to go, there is so much to see.

Friday, 20 August 2010

LIVE UPDATE - # 20

Due to train rides, early mornings, and late night boat cruises I have messed up my sleep patterns a bit and am a tad tired. I have spent the last two days doing a bit more resting than previously. Here I am taking a bit of a break on a marble staircase in the Hermitage museam in St. Petersburg. (So much art!!) Some of the rooms were set up like it was when the building was the Winter Palace. It made me sad that I was not a princess. I can still hope for movie star but I don't think that princess is a realistic dream for me anymore. It was great to wander around the place and imagine though. Going to the Peter and Paul Fortress tomorrow and a big palace on the outskirts of the city the next day. At some point I will make my way to Estonia, by bus since the train no longer goes direct and I would have to go back to Moscow to get there. The bus is only 7 hours or so. Starting to slowly plan out my next week. I'm looking forward to all of it!!