Neither Of Us Can Remember

At dinner last night, Jason and I were trying to remember the different restaurants that we had been to on Valentine's Days of years past. We knew we had visited Maple Leaf Tavern before, but I knew it hadn't been last year - we went again this year. Last year, 2019, I was in the middle of renovating the cafe and getting it ready to open in March. We actually ran a Valentine's Day event out in front of the shop to create a bit of buzz. So, our previous trip to the Tavern must have been in 2018, but I am not even sure about that. Especially because on Always Standing, I didn't mention the dinner. I just posted a photo from our wedding reception. And I should have mentioned that dinner because it was where I tried Wagyu beef for the first time - so good.

It is hard to keep the dinners straight because we also tend to go to nice/fancy restaurants on our anniversary so places and years get even more muddled. I don't seem to post about our dining experiences very much. In fact, one of the more memorable times was our very first Valentine's Day when Jason took me to La Maquette (previously a fine dining restaurant, now an event venue) and I chose the occasion to tell him that I wanted to postpone moving in together until the Fall of that year (2013). My blog post the following day talk how wonderful our day had been, with no mention of the difficult discussion or dinner location. 

I have done some fun blog post to mark the occasion:
- A poem from Facebook in 2014
- Photo collage the next year, 2015
- A quiz in 2017 with Jason and my answers the following days

It wasn't until I was looking back at various years in Always Standing to write this post that I remembered it was on Valentine's Day 2016 that we made our wedding rings! For lunch we went to a cafe near the jewelry studio on Queen West but I can't remember what we did for dinner. So many wonderful meals lost in our minds. I wonder if it makes sense to better document them somehow?

A Tiny Advantage

I won't get into how horrible it is that Premier Doug Ford, in the Provincial Government, has cut the size of Toronto city council. Basically it is a terrible idea, but on top of that doing it in the middle of an election is unethical. However, because The City is now 25 ridings instead of the previous 47, Vote Compass has been expanded to include city councillor races as well (maybe it was always going to do so for this election but I really like thinking there is some tiny silver lining in the disgraceful city council meddling.) In 2014 they had information for the mayor stuff, but the ward details are a great addition.

Vote Compass is an amazing tool, I love it so much and use it every election. So glad that I used it because the incumbent councillor (from my section of the ward, since there have been mergings) visited the house and I enjoyed talking to her. However, she isn't at all progressive and I didn't fully know her voting record. She voted to cut transit routes! So, good to get an idea of a more appropriate candidate for our neighbourhood. Here are my results:

This didn't tell me anything new for the mayoral race, I knew that I aligned more with Jennifer Keesmaat, she is an urban planner and I thought she was awesome in the role of Toronto Chief City Planner when she did it a few years back. I will be voting for her. However, I think John Tory is doing a good job and I will not be disappointed if (when) he is elected.

Not Wanting To Offend

................... found online, Buzzfeed, I think

My Pickiness (from above): 
- In some cases: Blue Cheese and Liver
- If it has a head or thin/fine bones: Raw Fish and Cooked Fish

My Pickiness (not listed)
- Nothing TOO spicy

There are lots of items above that I don't really like - that I wouldn't order at a restaurant or cook with at home. However, hard to think that if I was visiting someone, and didn't want to offend them, what I wouldn't be able to just deal with and eat. The one that comes to mind is Liver, I really hate the taste of liver (and other organ meat) but in China I ended up eating it for breakfast a couple of times and got through it fine. Blue Cheese is really on a case by case bases, for example Blue Cheese Dressing is delicious, a hunk of Blue Cheese plain is uneatable.

Let me know in the comments, how picky are you?

Stripper Name

Saw this on Facebook this morning....

What is your Stripper Name?

colour of your underwear +

last thing you ate...

So, mine is White Coke, which is the perfect stripper name!! I hadn't heard this one before and it is pretty good. I knew the porn star name was -- Your first pet + The street you grew up on -- which for me is Sally St. Andrew, also awesome. Love that they all work out. What is yours?

A note on the fact that the last thing I ate was Coke Zero, I was able to leave caffeine for just over a week thanks to a big bottle of Caffeine-Free Diet Coke that Noah brought to The Cottage on Labour Day weekend. I used it to ween myself off the need for Chai Lattes, Coke Zero, and even in a pinch I will have a coffee - at least once, sometimes twice, a day. I held strong for over a week but one bad night of sleep drove me right back to it.

Quiz - Jason's Answers

From Tuesday's Valentine's Day Quiz, here are Jason's answers (as he relayed them to me verbally.)

- Who's older? Me.
- Who was interested first? You contacted me
- Married? Yes
- Together? Yes
- More sarcastic? Me
- Who makes the most mess? You
- Who has more tattoos? You
- Better singer? Me
- Hogs the remote? I don't know
- Better driver? Me
- Smarter? I don't know, what does smart mean?
- Most common sense? Probably you
- Whose siblings do you see the most? Mine
- Do you have any children together? No
- Did you go to the same school? No
- Who is the most sensitive? Me
- Where do you eat out most as a couple? Harvey's
- Where is the furthest you two have traveled together? Peru
- Who has the worst temper? Yooouuu..I mean...no one really
- Who does the cooking? We both do
- Who is more social? You
- Who is the neat freak? We are neat freaks in different and incomptable ways
- Who is the most stubborn? Me
- Who hogs the bed? You thinks it's me
- Who wakes up earlier? Me
- Where was your first date? Starbucks
- Who has the bigger family? I do, because of my neice and nephews, but you have a larger, in touch, extended family
- Do you get flowers often? No
- Who does the laundry? I do
- Who drives when you are together? I do
- Who picks where you go to dinner? Both of us
- Who wears the pants in the relationship? We are both currently wearing pants

Quiz - My Answers

From yesterday's Valentine's Day Quiz, here are my answers (about Jason)

- Who's older? Jason, for this half of the year
- Who was interested first? Neither, eHarmony
- Married? For four months
- Together? For over four years
- More sarcastic? Jason (he is basically Kristen)
- Who makes the most mess? Me, but I am also the one that cleans the bathroom
- Who has more tattoos? Me
- Better singer? Him, by far. However, I sing way more often
- Hogs the remote? The Xbox uses voice commands
- Better driver? Him
- Smarter? Toss up
- Most common sense? Me
- Whose siblings do you see the most? His. Mike's in Edmonton
- Do you have any children together? No, and it is a long way off.
- Did you go to the same school? No
- Who is the most sensitive? Me
- Where do you eat out most as a couple? Harvey's
- Where is the furthest you two have traveled together? Paris
- Who has the worst temper? Neither
- Who does the cooking? Jason lately, but we try to share the task
- Who is more social? ME!
- Who is the neat freak? Jason but he isn't unreasonable
- Who is the most stubborn? JASON!
- Who hogs the bed? Jason
- Who wakes up earlier? My alarm goes off first
- Where was your first date? Starbucks
- Who has the bigger family? Me
- Do you get flowers often? Not really
- Who does the laundry? Jason
- Who drives when you are together? Jason, but only because he hates my driving
- Who picks where you go to dinner? Usually me
- Who wears the pants in the relationship? Pants? Isn't everything better naked?

Valentine's Day Quiz - Questions

I noticed a fun Facebook status from Jeska today. It said in honor of Valentine's Day, all couples should answer the following questions and make it their status.

Couples: Since this is a blog and not Facebook, cut and past the list into the comments! You can either fill it out from your perspective or call your partner over and ask them to answer.

- Who's older?
- Who was interested first?
- Married?
- Together?
- More sarcastic?
- Who makes the most mess?
- Who has more tattoos?
- Better singer?
- Hogs the remote?
- Better driver?
- Smarter?
- Most common sense?
- Whose siblings do you see the most?
- Do you have any children together?
- Did you go to the same school?
- Who is the most sensitive?
- Where do you eat out most as a couple?
- Where is the furthest you two have traveled together?
- Who has the worst temper?
- Who does the cooking?
- Who is more social?
- Who is the neat freak?
- Who is the most stubborn?
- Who hogs the bed?
- Who wakes up earlier?
- Where was your first date?
- Who has the bigger family?
- Do you get flowers often?
- Who does the laundry?
- Who drives when you are together?
- Who picks where you go to dinner?
- Who wears the pants in the relationship?

I also want to say that I was so happy to read their lists and learn more Jeska and her beau. I met him on our Wonderland trip this year and thought he was perfect for her! Joe is amazing and I am so excited for them.

I look forward to seeing your responses in the comments, and stay tuned to Always Standing for mine and Jason's over the next couple of days.

How Does A Rebel Get Anything Done?

I love classifying things, including people. (Remember THIS joke?) Lately I have been thinking about the four personality types presented by Gretchen Rubin in her latest book: Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, and Rebel. I particularly like that there is a corresponding Venn diagram and that the types exist on a simple x-y axis.

The classification is in regards to how someone responds to rules, both those set by others and those set internally. Rubin starts to outline her theory in THIS blog post. Her definition of rules or expectations is very broad: Looking at people's response to outer rules, like laws, traffic signs, work deadlines, requests from friends, doctors' advice, and their response to inner rules, like personal resolutions, goals for self-improvement, or working on a self-generated project. Luckily she put together a QUIZ to help determine which type you might be - I didn't even have to take it to know that I am a Questioner. (I have to understand the reasoning behind an expectation, and agree with it, before I follow along.)

What confuses me though is how does the Rebel type get anything done? Basically as soon as something is a rule or expectation they become repulsed by it. Rubin does suggest that it is the smallest category. What are you?

Your Cowboy Name

Happy Halloween! On Friday at work we had a pumpkin painting competition, it was a fun thing to do on my lunch break. Also according to this photo by my co-worker, I paint with my pinkie up. I am going to take the pumpkin home today since we don't have any decorations and are planning to give out candy at Casa Verde this year.

Dressed up at work today with my team as Cowgirls, (Since I was able to supply a lot of hats.) According to the quiz below my Cowboy Name is Billy The Stubborn Sheriff, which is cool but I have decided to be Chris The Kid.

---- from The Internet

Click to enlarge

Let me know your Cowboy Name in the comments!

A Weekend Challenge

This past weekend I challenged some friends to go through this list of questions with their spouses. (Some are with their life partners, while others are newer couples, some were married, some engaged, etc.) I agree that the following questions aren't fun to go through, some are intimate and some might be awkward, but they are designed to spark honest discussions.

For the most part Jason and I had been over this content before - in some fashion or another, at some time or another. But it is always good to take serious stock of your relationships - have serious conversations, just to do so, just to see if things have changed, if anything surprises you, if you truly are on the same page.

I don't think that any of my friends actually did end up sitting down with their spouses and going over them, but I figured I shouldn't issue the challenge and not follow through myself. So Friday night I texted Jason the link to the article, said, "Let's head to bed a bit early and go through these together" and made my way upstairs. I didn't present it as a fun game - cause it really isn't. And I didn't ask him if he wanted to - because I didn't want to hear he wasn't interested. I didn't want to argue over doing it or not, whether there was worth in doing it. So we did it.

The Questions

The questions and article were from the New York Times and you can see them and the reasoning behind asking each one ONLINE.

To get a sense of what the conversation was, this is the list of questions:

1. Did your family throw plates, calmly discuss issues or silently shut down when disagreements arose? 
 2. Will we have children, and if we do, will you change diapers? 
 3. Will our experiences with our exes help or hinder us? 
 4. How important is religion? How will we celebrate religious holidays, if at all? 
 5. Is my debt your debt? Would you be willing to bail me out? 
 6. What’s the most you would be willing to spend on a car, a couch, shoes? 
 7. Can you deal with my doing things without you? 
 8. Do we like each other’s parents? 
 9. How important is sex to you? 
 10. How far should we take flirting with other people? Is watching pornography O.K.? 
 11. Do you know all the ways I say “I love you”? 
 12. What do you admire about me, and what are your pet peeves? 
 13. How do you see us 10 years from now?

Since I had sent the link to Jason's phone I thought having him read the questions would be best, it also would mean that he could control the speed of the conversation, quickly jumping to the next question or stay on a topic if there was more to talk about. He asked the question, I answered, he answered, then sometimes we would want to know more or needed clarification and he would read the little background bit included in the article.

Our Outcome

Jason and I are intensely open about, and on top of, our money/finances. So I figured the questions related to that would be easiest, however 6 ended up being a short but interesting conversation. Firstly, neither of us had any idea how much a couch costs because we haven't ever bought one. Jason compared it to buying the king-bed and mattress, but even then I was struggling with the high cost of these items more than him. There are definitely certain things that I am not happy spending money on. I barely bat an eye at dropping multiple thousands to travel but the thought of spending a grand for a couch makes me exceedingly uncomfortable - couldn't we get something nice for less than that?

Both Jason and I had the same price point for shoes with a max of $250, however I consider the need to spend that much only in the case of a highly specialized product, like boots for trekking in the Arctic. In general, I can't image go near that cost for the types of shoes I usually need - where that price seemed normal to Jason for anything from winter boots to hiking, biking, or running shoes. Lastly the question led us into a discussion about buying a new car, which we are considering doing next year. We will need to revisit the cost breakdown for that again but it is a major purchase that we need to work out together.

I have noticed from doing this post that we actually didn't end up talking about the last two questions! We stopped on 11 because it was a cool way of looking at relationships that I hadn't really heard of before. It got us talking and we forgot about the rest of the quiz. I really want to get the book by Gary Chapman that is the reference for this question. We both agree that we show each other love through affirmation and physical touch. On top of that, Jason he feels like I demonstrate love through giving him gifts and in contrast I think his acts of service are one of his primary languages. I think this is a really interesting way to look at love and relationships, I want to know more.

Not My House

---------- from Facebook

Sure, I would love a Spacious Mansion, but that is never going to happen! (Though that is totally what Le Manior was, a dilapidated but spacious mansion. Remember THIS PHOTO was only the side of it, the front faced the street to the right.)

Let me know in the comments what your home should be and if you agree.

Seriously The Comments Guys

I guess it is the time of the year that I put out a pleading post for more comments. My mom has given a couple lately, and Heather comment on my last post, but in general it has been pretty silent.

And I have had some good posts lately:
- A trip to the emergency room
- First little look at our wedding photos
- Stuff about my Dad
- A Funny video
- Two's awesome Instagram
- A fun internet quiz, normally people would share their results in the comments.

I AM An Intrrobang?!

A co-worker shared a survey with the Marketing Team called What's Your Punctuation Mark? It was a quick quiz and I got "interrobang.' In fact each member of our four-person team got a different type of punctuation and the tiny write ups were cute. Mine was especially accurate, "Inquisitive. Confident. Often surprised." I had never heard of an interrobang before, it looks like an exclamation mark overlapping with a question mark, but can be represented with ?! as well. I like the idea that I am a punctuation mark used to show "asking a question in an excited manner."

Your Superpower

----------- from Buzzfeed

The first word you see 

is the superpower you deserve:

You can click the image to see it bigger.
Share in the comments!

Check the comments to see what I got.

Four Things

Erin AH filled this out on her Facebook and I thought I would transplant it over the the blog, also I am heading to Ottawa tomorrow to visit her so that is exciting and fitting:

Four places I've lived: 
1. Cambridge, ON (1984-1985)
2. Paris, ON (1985-2003)
3. Ottawa, ON (2003-2010)
4. Toronto, ON (2010-now)

Four things I love to watch on TV or Netflix: 
1. The Daily Show
2. Orange Is The New Black
3. Archer
4. Property Brothers

Four names I go by:
1. Chris
2. Christine
3. Aunt Chris
4. Tita Chris

Four places I have visited: 
1. San Diego, CA
2. Yekaterinburg, Russia
3. Tangier, Morocco
4. Corner Brook, NL

Four things I love to eat: 
1. Bread
2. Watermelon
3. Pasta
4. Spaghetti Squash

Four favorite drinks:
1. Chocolate Milk
2. Pink Lemonade
3. Coke Zero
4. Gin and Tonic

Four people I would like to see respond:
1. Mom, maybe even on her blog
2. Steph
3. The T's (Taylor and Teri)
4. People who don't usually leave comments

Copy and paste this into the comments for this post and fill in your responses. Have some fun!

Coaching Question - Part Three

I spent a few weeks considering Evan's question. After a long thought process, I determined that professionally I want to be considered the following:
- Respectful 
- Positive 
- Confident 
- Honest 
I think that I could easily use these words to describe myself. However, I also know that they would not necessarily be the first four that those who work with me now, or ever have, might think of. In order to bring these characteristics more to the forefront. I am trying to remind myself of them daily. I also want to continue to put into practice behaviours that better reflect these parts of myself.

On the other hand, these are the four personal attributes that I hope would be used by my friends to describe me:
- Funny
- Outgoing
- Generous
- Honest
It might be the same case as the first list, that I think I am these four things but that they wouldn't necessarily be the top four picks in my friends' minds. Turns out that I have a duplicate and just need to be the type of person who can be described using seven words instead of eight.

I would love to read your lists, leave them in the comments! Do you have two different ones for work and friends? What are your overlaps? Try to just use three or four, it is an interesting way to self evaluate.

Could You Read This?

------- From Facebook

I think this is another example of a "you are special" trick where pretty much everyone is special. The image above was accompanied by text saying; "90% of you can't read this." Though, it could be a comment on the fact that less than 6% of the world's population speaks English, or maybe a discussion about general literacy? I read it pretty quickly (but my style of reading is a bit different since I tend to skim anyway.) Did you have trouble deciphering the short passage above? Let me know in the comments.

But I Thought I Was A Kid

I don't really like coffee but need caffeine everyday now. In the mornings I have a Chai Latte or for a special treat an Ice Cap from Tim Horton's, then at lunch I have a Coke Zero. I can across a Buzzfeed Quiz that says that it can tell your age from your order at Tim Horton's. So I did it and was told that I am 43!! I can't believe it - I rarely go and I don't even get coffee, I get a coffee-milkshake-thing! That seems totally like I should be a child. Jason did the test and it said his Double Double and Boston Cream Donut order meant he was 22. So unfair!

How Well Did You Know Me?

This is the response post to the list from last week. I wrote these answers right after publishing the original post - so any comments/guesses that got left did not influence me.

----- from Facebook

How Well Do You Know Me?

Jeans OR Sweats? Sweats (But, lady-sweats, aka yoga pants)

Coke OR Pepsi? Coke (Coke Zero actually)

iPhone OR Android? Android

Pink OR Blue? Pink to wear, Blue for everything else

Summer OR Winter? Winter

Morning OR Night? Night (the morning is for sleeping)

Tomboy OR Girly-Girl? I refuse to answer this question! I don't fit in either box. I also don't think it is a good idea to classify people this way, both of these terms are antiquated and sexist.

How did you do?

How Well Do You Know Me?

This is a very strange list of questions but an interesting experiment none the less (and yes, I got it from Facebook).

------ from Facebook

How Well Do You Know Me?

Jeans OR Sweats?

Coke OR Pepsi?

iPhone OR Android?

Pink OR Blue?

Summer OR Winter?

Morning OR Night?

Tomboy OR Girly-Girl?

Leave your guess (about my preferences) in the comments and I have scheduled a post for next week with my actual responses.