Happy Weed Day

The day has come - Cannabis is legal in Canada. This has been a long time coming and I totally agree with all the arguments for legalization. At the moment there are still quantity restrictions and edible products won't be allowed for another couple of years, but we are totally moving in the right direction with this.

My one concern comes with driving under the influence. Impaired driving has always terrified me, growing up in a small town it was a huge issue that took many lives. While the breathalyzer is far from perfect it has provided a quick and convenient tool to assess alcohol impairment. It is harder to determine what is going on when someone is driving high. At the moment there isn't a federally approved fluid screening device that can be used roadside for cannabis.

On top of the testing challenges, right now, there's no set limit on the amount of cannabis that you can have legally in your blood or urine when driving. Driving high has always been illegal, and covered under Impaired Driving, but it doesn't get charged as much, even though drugs now show up more often than alcohol in blood tests of drivers killed in crashes. So scary.

I am excited to see the start of legalized cannabis but please - don't drive high!

Sorry, Dawg

I have been meaning to post this photo forever. This is part of a real estate listing for a large house (semi-detached) that is for sale in Toronto. I kept worrying that it would sell before I had a chance to take a screen shot of one of the photos that appeared on the listing. Luckily, it has stayed on the market for an unprecedented two weeks. Tonight I made sure to capture the photo before someone buys the place, renovates the crap out of it, and resells it for twice as much.

It is currently in our "price range" and is in the best location of the few offerings that show up in our searches; however, this is due to the fact that the house looks terrible and is falling apart:

It has been divided up into apartments, and the tenants do not seem to be looking after the place, I suspect some drug dealing occurs regularly. But as fridge graffiti goes, the messaging is very sweet, "sorry, I ate all your food, dawg" is quite polite. Needless to say we are still on the hunt for a house to buy and this is one property that we are going to pass on for now.

You Cannot Multitask

As I have said before - I love visual representations of data! The Perils of Multitasking is a well done infographic (not always the case - sometimes these trendy infographic things are not done well or contain little/incorrect data or bad sources.) Highlights include: "Studies show that while working, being distracted by incoming calls or emails lowers a person's IQ by 10 points. The equivalent of missing a night of sleep. And twice the effect of smoking marijuana."

Must Haves & Can't Stands

I have had some requests to talk more about eHarmony and my dating life. This isn't super exciting but I thought I would share with you one of my favourite parts of the site: The Must Haves & Can't Stands. It isn't even that this stage of the "guided communication" is particularly helpful, though at times it is, it is more that I love how they summarize an often very abstract idea with a short little, well written, sentence. You get to pick 10 of each from a list of probably 50. Here are mine.

Must Haves:

- Intellect. I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
- Sense of Humor. I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
- Chemistry. I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
- Strong Character. I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.
- Curiosity. I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.
- Adaptability. I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life's surprises.
- Conflict Resolver. I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
- Autonomy. I must have a partner who will give me space to be my own person.
- Exciting. I must have someone who isn't afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
- Passionate. I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

Can't Stands:

- Victim Mentality. While everyone has times of self-pity, I can't stand someone who continually sees himself/herself as a victim.
- Mean Spirited. I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.
- Rude. I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.
- Cheating. I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.
- Childishness. I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.
- Dependence. I can't stand someone who bases their happiness on me.
- Lying. I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.
- Judgmental. I can't stand someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.
- Hypochondriac. I can't stand someone who has a general disposition of sickness and is constantly treating the symptoms of their supposed illness.
- Infidelity. I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.

As you can see from the lists I tend to pick things that are objective and fairly abstract. The list to choose from contains a wide range of options, everything from wanting someone to accept stepchildren as their own to hating the use of illegal drugs. Obviously if either of those shows up I wouldn't be a very good match.

Aged Or High?

Throughout both my Masters and Undergraduate work I have had many 'all-nighters.' Recently, I discovered that I really enjoy working at night with jazz music playing. I have never been the type of person who can listen to music or watch tv while doing homework. In High School, Teri used to do her Math work while watching tv and I never understood how she did it - I would just sit there with the text book open on my lap doing nothing. Anyway, I discovered this year that jazz is perfect. There are rarely lyrics to distract me. It is soothing but not in a 'put you to sleep' way. It also creates some nice background noise so the quiet doesn't freak me out.

Kristen, coming home late one night and discovering me up working on a paper with jazz playing, mocked me a little. I have to admit, it does make me feel old. My grandfather absolutely loves jazz. We get a lot of local radio stations through cable, so I listen using the tv. I listen to Jazz FM 91. According to the station's website: More than just a radio station, JAZZ.FM91 is Canada’s only broadcaster and registered not-for-profit charitable arts organization dedicated to enriching the cultural, educational and community experience of their audience. The station began life more than 60 years ago as CJRT-FM, Ryerson's university radio station, broadcasting an eclectic mix of educational programming, classics and jazz. Then in 1996, it was transformed - embracing the concept of an all-jazz format within a non-profit, educational context and highlighting diversity and musical sophistication. This is all very nice, but still makes me feel old.

Then, tonight, a song came on with lyrics - these are quite rare. It is quite late and I am running on sugar and caffeine, soon to be infused with 5-Hour Energy Drink. I swear I didn't know if I was sleeping or awake. The song was just ridiculous. I kept listening to see if it was somehow a metaphor for something larger, but it didn't seem to be. At one point I actually questioned if I was high. Seriously, this is a song? From 2008 too! Yeah, I just don't get it. Click the video below to listen.

The Recipes Of Depression

Prepare any recipe well ahead of time
Don`t pre-heat the oven
Hide the knives
**
2 Celexa
4 Welbutrin
3 Effexor
Toss together and serve over a generous helping of Crown and Coke
*
3 Balanced meals a day
8 Hours of sleep at night
Regular exercise
Bake for 6 hours with a well greased Hash Pipe
*
Prozac 3 times daily
Weekly group therapy
Individual counselling
Stir with Incessant Gambling and Unprotected Sex
**
Combining all three recipes makes for a delicious late night meal

But the next morning can be killer!

-C.S

A Fiction Workshop Jump Start: "Recipes to Cure Depression"

Tristen and Kaylor

There is a little bit of back story needed here. These are two of my closest friends, I love them and can sing nothing but their praises, and some Disney songs. Both have finished their degrees and are moving away from Ottawa this weekend. It is so hard to see them go as they are a big part of my life here, lump in my throat. I met Kristen in the first week of first year (well, her first year.) Through Kristen I met Taylor, who I became friends with in second year. What should also be noted is that a lot of the memories I have of them from the last year or so are also tied to Heather, who thankfully is staying around for at least the summer.

In rough chronological order, I will always remember...

-meeting Kristen in first year French where I terrified her and forced her to be my friend

-never learning that 'Je suis une chat' means 'I am a cat'

-going as a guest to the cafeteria

-getting kicked off their residence floor for having alcohol in the hallway

-discovering The Lonely Island

-cooking Kristen perogies at Glen

-studying for Human Rights with Kristen and Taylor from a page of predetermined questions

-the Gentleman way

-hanging out in Taylor's big room on the first floor of 998

-Socrates and Jesus

-meeting M- during a random make-out at the bar

-Taylor's issues with pee and Kristen's issues with first dates

-the Numa Numa dance

-Kristen milking her birthday for weeks on end and me milking a break up to go to Pizza Hut

-Kings

-being quoted in a number of articles both for The Charleton and journalism classes

-having Kristen stay with me at Le Manoir off and on throughout the summer she was Productions Editor

-Kristen always convincing me that we should just walk downtown

-Taylor as a raptor

-nights sleeping on the futon

-Jeopardy

-being told that a box of chicken fingers and a bag of baby carrots does not count as a dinner

-visiting Kristen at work both at the Charleton and Smithbooks

-Kristen crashing on my futon after watching Amanda Bynes

-fierce Wednesdays with the girls along with dinner and great desserts

-painting Die Höhle

-going camping and having Taylor cook incredible meals over a fire

-being 110% sure

-the alcove becoming the cubical

-creating strange sound effects for rummy, the birth of a cow, and what a raccoon says, 'heeeey'

-babysitting Friends DVD's for over a year

-offering to help paint Taylor's new house but just ending up drinking for the whole weekend

-downey paper, the plastic lattice, and fear of sleeping with Kristen

-Taylor's short bangs

-being purposed to by Adam, as Eve, at The Big Apple

-issues with Acers

-going to see a show about sex put on by children

-photoshoots

-playing rummy, learning honeymoon bridge, and teaching two handed euchre

-Kristen's strange eyelash

-falling in love with Taylor's bed and sleeping in it whenever she wasn't there

-picking Taylor up from the airport

-all nighters in the library, frantically trying to print, rushing around campus, only to find out that St. Pats was locked

-Mark's Easter egg hunt

-Guuuuuy La Douche

-winning at the Wii because I was the only one who was sober

-Mark getting ready to lunge and me screaming while Kristen did nothing

-sleeping with Kristen when I was scared of the monsters

-Taylor leaving her mark on Ottawa and the walk home along the canal

.... and so many more that it is impossible to list them all. While new memories are sure to be made I will miss having Taylor and Kristen living just around the corner. I love them both so much!

Jon Lajoie Lyrics

As mentioned in my post about Montreal, we went to see Jon Lajoie live. It was very good, very funny. Seriously if you haven't seen his stuff look it up on YouTube. The following are my favorite three sections of his songs. There is a bit of swearing and it is a little crude. His songs are sort of like that but also I think I just find those parts the funniest.

From "High As Fuck"
You ever eat a whole bag of crackers that were so old
That they weren't crispy anymore?
Have you ever been high... as fuck?
From "Show Me Your Genitals"
I can't have sex with your personality,
And I can't put my penis in your college degree,
And I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams,
So why're you sharing all this information with me?
From "Pop Song"
Cause all you gotta say is ohh baby I love you and girl I need you in my world
Cause they'll market this song to young impressionable and insecure teenage girls
Cause all they gotta do is find a sexually attractive man that can sing all the words
And now the token rap verse
That doesnt make any sense but helps to get a small percentage of the urban music market
Hey baby baby
I can tell that you are crazy crazy
Shake that ass girl
My rhymes are gettin lazy lazy
These things im talkin bout have nothin to do with the song baby
It doesnt matter wont you show me that thong baby

Games

I played alot of games this weekend. Kristen, Jerrica, and I played Life four times, and we were joined by Emily for the last. We played in all states of awareness and I won the first three times. I tend to make a lot of money in the boardgame Life if only that also happened in real life. I also usually Became President, which is an impossibility as I'm Canadian. On top of the ridiculous amount of Life playing, Jerrica and I took on Kristen and Heather in a battle of the roommates in Cranium. We lost, but it was really close. This afternoon I played a game of Settlers of Catan which is my favorite boardgame of all time. (I rarely admit this and usually just say that my favorite is Monopoly which is a close second anyway.) Lastly, I played a round of Kings before heading out to the bar last night. It has been a busy weekend, playing.

Late Night Worries

Sometimes I think I may drink too often. Occasionally, I worry that I smoke too much pot. Right now, I'm more concerned with the fact I'm ridiculously out of shape, and not studying hard enough for my exam. Like everyone says, you have to pick your battles.

Catnip

Jerrica and I got Binx high tonight on some catnip. I haven't seen her act like that in ages. It really affects cats, they go crazy. She was twitching and rolling around on the Le Manoir's main staircase. Then she would bat around anything she could find. She often attacks things and bats stuff around, but what was different when she was on catnip is how fast she moves and how randomly. It isn't like little kitty pot, it is like kitty speed.

Intense Weekend

I don't know how to write about this weekend. I have not even fully recovered from the experience. Little Brother Mike was in town. He is on tour with his band and two others, along with a driver and their promoter. They had a gig downtown on Friday night, and then a couple of days off before they headed further out east. The guys (17 of them between the ages of 16-23) stayed at my place for the weekend. Since I have no idea how to describe the events of the past three days I'm going to let the quotes speak for themselves. Note "Band Member" is used when I wish to preserve anonymity, have forgotten the guys name, or have forgotten which one said it.
--"We are going to be late, we just got Bear Maced. Everyone is just a little enraged right now." -Mike to Me on the phone
--"Your sister's cute Mike" -Carl
---"Rob? Ben? Jason? There are 17 of you, I'm just not going to learn them all. Nick? Steve? Fred?" -Me to Josh when trying to remember his name
------"Fred is good. I can be Fred." -Josh
--(Silence) -Charlie while staring at sleeping Band Members
--"Last time we were here we saw only one roommate. That Librarian one. Now they are like everywhere." -Wally
--"Is there any factories in town?" -Nick
------"Not really. It is kinda a government town." -Me
------"Oh, like The Beer Store." -Nick
------"No, not governmental retail. Like Health Canada, Natural Resources, like the government government." -Me
------"Oh well, no factories, I can't live here." -Nick
--"Oh, Wally." -Emily
--"Bear Mace, where do you even get that?" -Me
------"Hunting shops." -A Band Member
--"I just got my first hate mail." -Carl
--"Is black lipstick Metal or more Goth?" -Ami
--"I am so so so sorry." -Ami, Tiffany, and Me to the bartender
--"Chris, Chris, stop. Your going to get me drunk." -Jerrica
--"Woah. You don't do that." -Nick to Me after I hit Glenn
--"No. Don't tell anyone where the pop is hidden. It will be our little secret." -A Band Member to Me
--"I think that is going to bruise" -Me to Glenn after he punched Me
------"Woah. You don't do that." -Nick to Glenn
--"YOU. GET IN THE FUCKING HOUSE!!" -Me to Many Band Members while trying to control what looked like an impending fight
--"I'm just trying to help get everyone inside." -Many Band Members to Me
------"OK THEN. GET IN THE FUCKING HOUSE!!" -Me
--"Guys, chill. He is my dealer." -Me
--"I hate being dragged and then put places" -Tiffany
--"I want to kick that guys ass" -Nick to Me
------"No! Huh? Wait? What? No! Lie to me, tell me your your trying to help and get everyone inside. Lie to me." -Me
--"Chris stay here, I'm sober." -Mike to Me about who would talk to The Cop
--"HOLY SHIT!" -Me to The Cop after seeing two more cop cars pull into the street
--"Alright then, we are going to hug this out. Get up here. Other arm. That's it." -Mark to Me
--"Next time wake me up earlier." -Mike to Me
--"The Librarian is hot." -Wally and Carl about Emily
--"Ok, my vote is in. Mark is definitely the nicest one." -Anna
--"Wow. I have not done that in a long time. My neck is killing me." -Ami about her head banging injury
--"YOU. RIDE A BICYCLE! YOU. GO PEEL OFF THE WALLPAPER! YOU. WALK IN CIRCLES IN A NORTH EAST DIRECTION! If I keep yelling in an authoritative tone, things will some how fix themselves, even if what I'm saying makes no sense." -Mike doing an impression of Me
--"Oh, I so knew that is what it was all about." -Ami to Me
--"Any one who cooks with chickpeas is amazing." -Josh about Emily
--"It is when you shit along the top of the toilet so when the next person flushes it, it just flushes shit, not clear water. You know, I have always wanted to do a Top Shelf at Top Shelf." -A Band Member to Me
--"So do you really really like Like like like him?" -Emily to Me about A Band Member
--"You didn't really enjoy your time in high school if you weren't having lots of anal sex" -Wally to Me
--"Your brown? Well I guess you look a little Mexican." -Me to Andreas after finding out he is Pakistani
--"UHH, I'm just going to pee off the roof" -Nick after waiting for the bathroom
------"No you cannot pee off the roof" -Me
------"Look she is saying you cannot, as in you don't have the ability. Now you have to do it to prove her wrong." -Mike
--"This town is so healthy, look at everyone biking. With helmets!" -A Band Member
--"Which one was it? Did they have long hair? Where they wearing black? Did they have facial hair? Did they have any tattoos?" -Me to Anna trying to figure out which guy she was talking about
--"I'm going for the triple threat. Three showers in three days." - John to Mike
--"Oh, so like the only one wearing a white shirt?" -Anna about Josh
--"Wayne's World is the best movie in the world." -Andreas
--"Did you guys sleep here? Was it loud? Did you get a shower in the morning" -Me to Wes
------"Yea it was fine. I don't shower on the weekends." -Wes
------"What? I don't even know how to respond to that." -Me
--"Are you kidding? I love Faulkner. I love stream-of-consciousness." -Josh
--"It's totally hit and miss with those guys." -Anna
--"I don't get it. I'm perfectly nice to chicks and get nowhere. Wally walks up to them and says 'Get on your knees bitch' and they all love him." -Carl
--"Mike. You know we could have had this talk anytime this weekend. Now is probably not a great time." -Me to Mike after everyone is packed and ready to go in the vans and he decides to have a nice heart to heart with his big sister
--"Alright Chris, goal for next weekend: No emergency vehicles at 900 Colonel By." -Emily to Me

Hostel Crush

I met a boy. Alex boy. He was a cute boy. I wanted the boy. My hostel boy. Mysterious, quiet, tall, thin boy. Romanian-American boy. Looked like "Almost Famous" boy. Sweet, smart boy. Los Angeles Boy. Drank and partied with the boy. Well dressed boy. Deep voiced boy. Didn't even kiss the boy. Was a little too shy with the boy. Crushing hard for the boy ... but .... will never see this boy again.

Stoned

Freakin out