That Is Life

"There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others." - From Revolver

Adderall

I'm running low on my newest prescription medication, Adderall. My pharmacy is not open again until the 2nd, so I have to pick the days until then that I take it. I didn't have it today and I'm feeling really down right now and have been unmotivated all day. It scares me for two reasons 1-Addiction 2-Connection To Depression. It was prescribed to me to help the depression but manly to help with my alleged ADD. Most Anti-Depressants are sedatives with exhaustion and long sleeping hours as side effects, this drugs helps fight that. I'm worried that it is a bigger part of my happiness then I had originally thought. This scares me for two reasons 1-I Now Take Two Different Drugs For Depression 2-Addiction. Basically this is a really addictive drug. There are warnings about it all over the net. Warnings that my doctor didn't give me when it was originally prescribed. In the US it is listed under the Controlled Substance Act as a Schedule II type drug, which means although it is legal for medical prescription use it has a high potential for abuse, and abuse of it can lead to sever psychological and physical dependence. Schedule I type drugs are illegal, and Schedule III, IV, and V have lower risks. I'm worried because it is slowly becoming clear to me that the days I take this drug are much better then the ones when I don't. It is terrifying to think I might becoming addicted to something or even that I need something so very much in order to live a happy and slightly normal life. How am I not dependent on it when stopping taking it leaves me in tears and pretty much unfunctioning? Then again maybe it is all in my head. (Sorry, bad mental health pun.)

New Era Of Santa

I didn't have to write to him this year (or leave cookies or a note, I'm really slacking.) Somehow Santa still found out that I wanted a digital camera for Christmas. I think he must have read my blog. I got a Nikon Coolpix S200 which is so tiny and so cute, and so very fast. It is faster then average when it comes to start-up times which is good since because of its shape (when turned on the little lens sticks out) I won't be just keeping it on like I did with my other one. It also has essentially no lag, which means I can capture moments instantly. I usually like to set up my shots but it is good to have a fast camera. It has 0.1 more mega pixels then I asked for too, as it has 7.1. I read a review about it and it seems like it will be a very good little camera which should keep me happy for the years to come. Eventually I do want a digital SLR, but this little guy will definitely provide me with good quality images until I can afford one far off in the future. I can't get over how tiny it is. I feel like James Bond.

Tear Jerker

I love movies that that appeal to both genders. One of my Top Five Favorite Movies is High Fidelity (Teri gave it to me for Christmas this year.) It is a great movie because although it is a romance and deals with relationship themes, it is from a male perspective, and guys like it. It is a chick-flick for guys. In the opposite sense I think of Man On Fire as a action-flick with depth. Not really for girls, but girls can love it because they can get behind the emotions of the story and the art of the movie. The cinematography and music is amazing, and is used in such a way that the graphic scenes seem a little less gory. My dad describes the end as a 'tear jerker' but I think this is an understatement as I was balling. I have seen it twice now and am shocked that it really hasn't gotten the recognition it deserves, it really is a quality movie.

So Cold

I just don't get it. I'm freezing. I live in Ottawa and deal with ridiculously cold temperatures all the time. -17 for most of this past week. I get into Paris and I'm dying. It is this damp -3 and it is killing me. This type of cold just gets into your bones and no amount of clothes or blankets seem to help. I may have take a trick from the homeless and just start drinking.

Nine To Five

Shot of me in my cubicle at work. Note the florescent overhead lighting, dull walls, and fake smile. I do love my job though, almost as much as the new white sweater I'm wearing. (Picture by The Prairie Girl)

The League

I want to bring back the 'league', as a unit of measurement. I thought I had posted about this before but a quick search of Always Standing and it seems I forgot to mention it. A league is a unit of length that used to be common in Europe and Latin America. It is the distance a person can walk in an hour, so 5.5 kilometres. It is no longer an official unit of measurement in any country, but I hope to bring it back to regular practice. I got thinking about it because of the Christmas Carol, Good King Wenceslas, one of my favorites. "Sire, he lives a good league hence..."

Winning

I tend to be averagely lucky. I rarely win door prizes or other such draws, but I sometimes do. Today at our office Christmas party I won a door prize. When I went up to the table I didn't really look around at them and just picked the biggest one. A rookie mistake. It was a big basket filled with different things, and was nice enough. The main problem was that it was tea themed, and I'm just not that into tea, nor is anyone I know. I ended up passing it on to my new boss. I had wanted to get her a gift anyway and but have run out of time, money and ideas. Although I gave it to her because I thought she may like it, or parts of it, I think she felt bad because she had been kidding with me about giving it to her. I also think it may have looked tacky to pass on a gift I had just won. As usual I'm totally in the dark with the office protocol and fumble around doing my own thing.

Leaving The Band

Little Brother Mike is leaving his band Our Lady Of Bloodshed, so I have removed that link from this blog as well. It is the month of link changes it seems. He is still helping the band record their next CD but will not be playing at any more of their shows. I think they already have a new drummer. Little Brother Mike is also thinking about selling his drums, I hope he doesn't. Control. Conform.

Radar Love

Today was the official launch of RADARSAT-2. This is a big deal here at Natural Resources Canada - Earth Sciences Sector as our Canada Centre for Remote Sensing partnered with The Canadian Space Agency and a private company to make it happen. It is an Earth observation satellite, a satellite specifically designed to observe Earth from orbit, intended for non-military uses such as environmental monitoring, meteorology, map making etc. RADARSAT-2 is intended to fill a wide variety of roles, including sea ice mapping and ship routing, iceberg detection, agricultural crop monitoring, marine surveillance for ship and pollution detection, terrestrial defence surveillance and target identification, geological mapping, land use mapping, wetlands mapping, topographic mapping. Oh the mapping, it is always about the mapping.

Missing The 'Is'

I have always hated when people talk or write in the third person. Christine hates it very much. In many drinking games in the past, rules have been created to force people to talk in this ridiculous fashion. I always get annoyed. Christine gets very annoyed when forced to speak in the third person. On the contrary to this, I actually really like the forced third person on Facebook's personal status feature. This little tag line at the top of a persons Facebook profile forces them to use the word 'is' and to craft a sentence in third person. Christine is thinking about all different drunken times she has been forced to speak in the third person. I love this about Facebook. Most people hate it, groups were made, petitions signed and Facebook listened, removing this feature. I'm now forced into a strange retro mindset where I will attempt to continue to use the 'is' in my status, partly as a protest to the change and partly because I have always liked the challenge of creating a little blurb using that dictated intro. Christine Sweeton is...

Moonlighting

The past two days I have been moonlighting as a Sandwich Artist. It is good to be back at Subway and I have served a few regulars who remember me. The free food is good, as is the ability to make it exactly as I want. The past two 15 hour days have taken their toll and I will be going to be very early tonight (as I do it again tomorrow.) My cool boss has said I will be back at the pay I left at, which is great. For the life of me I can't remember what it was though. I have not had the chance to type up any notes as I planned nor do I get a pay cheque for a while but I'm still happy to be doing it.

The Poverty Line

During a lunch time discussion at work yesterday somehow my placement on, below or above the poverty line came into question. As usual there were many people with many opinions and statistics, none of them accurate. After a bit of research I have discovered that I rest just above the poverty line (last calculated in 2005.) For an unattached individual, or family of one (basically me) who lives in an urban centre of more then 500,000 people (basically Ottawa) would be considered to be living in 'straitened circumstances' if making less then $20,778 a year before taxes. At my current job I clear that number by a couple of thousand, which really isn't much. If you work 38 hours a week you need to make more then $10.50 an hour to be above this line. This is very frightening as minimum wage is sitting at $8 right now. Statistics Canada claims that only about 11% of Canada's population is below this poverty line. I may not be under it right now but I'm close, damn close.

Back To The Sub

Tonight I'm closing at Subway. I have two other closes this week. I'm just helping out while The Cool Boss has surgery and people go away for the holidays. Jerrica is taking my laptop with her when she goes this morning and I'm heading over right after work. I hope to type up a bunch of notes from my course while I'm there earning an extra buck before Christmas and London. I have visions of huge pay cheques and productive nights of studying. These dreams will soon be shattered because it is Subway - money and productivity are not a reality. I think it will be a fun month working there again, and I am looking forward to it, mostly for the free subs.

Steph's Journey

I have added another new link. Steph has decided to publicly record her weight loss in a stand alone blog. Please see links to right to read The Road To A Better Me. Hopefully it will encourage us all to eat a little better and be more active. In it I am 'C' and reading the first post did make me cry, at work.

Link's Changing

You may have noticed 'My Links' on this page change over the past few months. I have had an unwritten (until now) rule in my head that if a website wasn't updating at least once a month or so then it got the axe on my links list. Therefore I have deleted Halley's Paris Blog, Ami's Blog, and B+T's Japan Blog. It is a little sad because Halley's was hilarious but once she returned to Tacoma she stopped writing. Ami is just an amazing writer, luckily I know she will never stop writing, she has just currently picked to do it at different outlets then her blog. B+T's trip is still ongoing but they appear to be using Facebook to keep up with everyone and not their blog. Time marches on, blog use slows down, and the links get removed.

Blast From The Past

I got a message from an old Paris friend, James. Oh the joys of Facebook! Our families are close and we bonded way back over a mutual love of Star Wars. Time has really passed, he is married now and has been a graphic designer for the past 5 years. He blogs as well and I have added his site, Modsuperstar, to the links on the right.

Late Late Thoughts

So far away
And nothings easy
No simple button
Life is distant
Survival isn't promised
Wishes don't come true
Who can keep a dream alive
When fighting the darkness
The ever coming darkness

White Trash Recipe

-1 lb of Ground Beef
(purchased months prior, must be over expiry date by at least 2 weeks)
-1 can of Noodles and Sauce
(larger pasta shapes work best, but Zoodles or Alphagetti is fine)
-1 can of Gravy
-1 can of Corn Nibblets
-Marble Cheese

1-Fry ground beef in large frying pan, drain fat
2-Add 3 cans
3-Heat to simmering
4-Serve topped with shredded cheese
Makes enough for 1 persons dinner with leftovers for a large lunch the next day.

--Chef's Thoughts--
"Wow, I'm poor."
"I was never meant to consume this much gravy, and never in this way."
"It seems to be better the second day, then again I'm very hungry."
"How is this not making me sick?"

Almost Rolling Stone

My article was published this week in The Charlatan, Carleton's student newspaper. Kristen tells me that it is worth the pain to see your name and writing in print. It really isn't. I wish the band the best, but am seriously going to try to stay retired from being a reporter this time. (See Page 21).

Iron Rings

It is hard to pick when to officially and publicly congratulate Steph and Dave on finishing their undergraduate programs, Bachelors of Engineering. Their convocation won't be until the spring, the diplomas will be given out in the new year and they finish school in a few weeks. Last week they were given their Iron Rings when they participated in The Ritual Calling of an Engineer. The pair are already wearing them on the little fingers of their working hands. So congratulations to Steph for her BEng in Environmental Engineering and Dave for his BEng in Aerospace. I know first hand how hard engineering is, I'm so proud of both of you!

Perfect Winter Day

Joy in having to step knee deep in soft powder, no shock to the system as boots fill with snow, worth the damp socks later. Life slows down. Walk across the large expanse of snow shattering the sparkles on its shimmering surface. Air not quite cold enough to be called crisp. Wind pinches the cheeks bringing a blush to beaming faces. Everyone has to get somewhere, bounding wagging dogs must be walked. Even old cars and forgotten lawn furniture look magical when covered in snow. Crunching underfoot, making the path a little slippery. Snow falls enough to look like a storm, not enough to catch on hair or eyelashes. Men laughing together, brushing cars and clearing sidewalks. The boss goes around office, telling those she finds to head home early. Catch the eye of a child, looking forward to another snowday, the rush of a toboggan hill. Forgive the hard work of shovelling or the longer commute, enjoy the quiet beauty. A snowfall they write songs about. A scene unpaintable, unable to even to be captured by a camera. Indescribable. It fills the heart and brings tears to the eyes. The perfect winter day December 3rd, 2007.

The Love Machine

The band I'm writing a profile on for The Charlatan is amazingly good. I'm not known for my good taste in music, actually I'm not known for any taste in music as I never listen to any. Seriously, I was the strangest choice to write on music for the arts section of a newspaper. Mind you, the editor didn't know I'm not a music person, which according to some makes me inhuman. I really feel that you should check this band out though. The Love Machine is from Ottawa and it is so important to support Canadian artists. I like their sound, but get back to me on it and let me know if you agree with my taste. You can find out more about them on their website and hear a couple tracks on their MySpace. Although I'm sure there are similarities between lots of Canadian bands. The experiences in this industry probably happen to everyone in it. But I think there are really cool parallels to Little Brother Mike's band (See Link on Right.) Both bands are all young guys in their early twenties, both the drummers names are Mike. Both just finished a tour out east, and have recently bought band vans. The list goes on. (Ignore the style of music, I only wish I enjoyed Our Lady Of Bloodshed as much as The Love Machine it would make me feel like a better sister.)

Interviewing

I can write, though I don't know what to do with that skill. I thought I had retired from working as a reporter, but I got contacted again from The Charlatan to do a last minute article. I stopped before because I hated interviewing and stumbled through the journalistic writing style, often missing deadlines. I really can't interview. I dread and hate it. This morning I wasn't as nervous as usual when I headed downtown to to meet the drummer of a local band I was to profile. Soon after though I was an awkward nervous mess, don't ask me why this happens as I'm crazy social and love meeting new people. Despite thinking the interview went terribly because I'm so bad at it, I was able to get more then enough information. On the bus ride home I tried to figure why I'm so sub par at this and it dawned on me, I can't totally throw the spotlight away. I'm so used to bringing my ideas or opinions to the table that when I'm interviewing a person and can't share my stories I get confused and uncomfortable. It feels horrible that I'm that self focused, but the truth is I don't know how to be completely un-self focused. I need to get famous and quick so I'm the one getting interviewed and not the other way around. I don't think I'm going to be a famous reporter though, I just don't have the full skill set.

Backwards Socks

I want to pass on some clothing advice. Not fashion advice, as I'm not near fashionable enough to do that. I don't understand fashion rules. White after labour day stuff is all so confusing, pretentious and contrived. (Though socks in sandals is never a good idea, never Dad, never.) What I want to tell you about is dressing, actually how to put the clothes on. Listen well my friends. If you put your deodorant on before your shirt (some people do it afterwards, they can ignore this advice) be sure to fold up the bottom 4 inches or so of the shirt before pulling it over your head. This way the deodorant rubs onto the inside of the shirt leaving marks there where no one can see them. I also want to pass on the inside out sock trick I learned from my Dad (yes, the one who also occasionally wears the dreaded socks with sandals.) He never actually sat me down and explain this, I just picked it up from watching him when I was younger. It was only recently that I realised not everyone puts their socks on this way. If the sock is right side out, just pull it on obviously. But, if it is inside out, instead of righting it and then pulling it on, use this trick. Dent the bottom a little bit and put the tip of your toe in, then roll it down over your foot and pull it up, it rolls itself out and goes on correctly. This will save you valuable time in the morning.

2lbs Of Cheese Whiz

I went to Walmart this evening with some of my roommates. I only needed to pick up a few things, one of them being some Cheese Whiz. They had a special on the large jar, and were interestingly out of the smaller jars. I went to go and pick up the large one when my roommate said, "My God, what are you going to do with two pounds of Cheese Whiz." I laughed it off saying it wasn't 2lbs, then I picked it up. It felt heavy, heavy enough to be 2lbs. I looked at the label. "Yea," my roommate said, "One kilogram, which equals about two point two pounds." I bought it anyway, but I have to say, it is alot of Cheese Whiz.

No Camera

Teri was down this weekend. I am wondering how she is doing at work this morning as I'm exhausted from staying up late and waking up early. She forgot to bring her camera, and mine was stolen at a party this summer, so we have no photographic evidence of the very busy but super fun weekend. Even though we visited Steph on Sunday and hung out at her place, there were no pictures taken. Usually Steph documents every moment with her camera, being the avid photographer she is. I can't wait until I get another camera, hopefully for Christmas, if not I'm going to buy one before I leave for London on January 15th.

Black Days

Today is 'Black Friday', named as the busiest day for shopping in The United States. I had been disturbed by the use of 'Black' for this day, as it tends to be reserved for more serious things. People then explained to me that it was called 'Black Friday' because it was when stores moved from 'the red' into 'the black', implying that they run at a loss before this date. Turns out this is a misconception and it was named 'Black Friday' because of it's busy and hectic nature back in the mid-seventies. I don't think it deserves this title at all. Black days should hold true meaning. Black days of the week should and do stem from massacres, riots, specific events of war, or terrible economic events. The most well-known would be Black Tuesday, in reference to the October 29th stock-market crash in 1929 that led to the Great Depression. The initial crash occurred a few days before, on the 24th, that day is referred to as Black Thursday. For me though, 'Black Friday', referrers to February 20, 1959, the day that Prime Minister Diefenbaker announced that the Avro Arrow project was cancelled. Named this by Avro plant workers, 60,000 of who were laid off because of this cancellation. At the time Avro was the third largest employer in Canada. After this many engineers and technicians left Canada to work in the U.S. starting what is known as the 'brain drain'. The announcement day for the end of the Avro Arrow is still considered the darkest day for Canadian engineering.

Miswanting

"Most people have no idea what will make us happy. So we go after something we think will make us happy and might be temporarily elated when we get it. Ultimately, we end up disappointed because the thing - whether it's say getting into Columbia or snagging a cool job at True - doesn't have the enduring, euphoric emotional payoff that we thought it would. So we set out sights on something else that we think will make us happy, only to repeat the cycle indefinitely until we die. The upside to this is that the same holds true for negative experiences. Something we think will kill us - say a best friend moving a thousand miles away or a boyfriend choosing a college across the country - won't have the long-term devastation on our psyches that we think it will. " - Author: Megan McCafferty from her novel Charmed Thirds

New Link

I found another addictive website. It is called Found. I have added it to the Links section (See Right) with the rest of my addictive websites. It is similar to the others as it is mainly comprised of things sent by others but controlled by a single person. He posts a new found item everyday. Some are very strange.

French Moment

I was thinking the other day about my French language skills, which are minimal, and I realised I recognize certain things instantly, and other it takes much longer then it should to figure out. The days of the week, which I have been taught in French every year since Kindergarten, I still have to count out on my fingers and think about for a long time before I can really connect them to the proper day in English. Numbers I can handle, and also directions, especially right and left. In French the word for directional 'right' is 'droite' and the word for directional 'left' is 'gouche.' As soon as I hear these French words I know what direction is being mentioned, it is an instant translation. I have always thought of it as the word 'right' ends in a 't' and the word 'droite' ends in a 't'. This trick has served me well for probably the last 19 years, as I was most likely taught these words in Kindergarten French as well. The real trick is not to think about it too hard and just go with it, because if you do puzzle over it, you will realise that the word 'left' also ends in a 't'.

Early Morning Yoga

I went to my third early morning yoga class today and plan to continue doing it. My yoga studio (Rama Lotus) only offers 6:30am classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They offer a 50% discount to students for any class before 4:00pm and these early morning ones count. There are three different classes offered a one hour Power class in the hot room, which is way to intense for me that early in the morning; an hour and a half meditation style yoga class with a gong and probably chanting, totally not me; and lastly the one I have been attending, a 90 minute Hatha yoga class. For the most part the class focuses on legs, I swear I spend about half an hour each time in a lunge of some sort or another. There is also ab work and some balancing. The instructor says our mantra should be "I love my abdominal muscles," currently I don't. The class is still a challenging work out and I hope to improve in the postures over time.

Dark To Dark

I want to say that yesterday I was productive from dawn to dusk, but with the short winter days it was more like I was productive from dark to dark. I woke up at 5:30 to go to a 6:30am yoga class. My studio has classes at 6:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I want to start going all the time. I have made it to the last two. So I grabbed the 6:00 bus, head down for an hour and half class. Then I catch another bus afterwards (on the same transfer.) The bus doesn't take me all the way to work, I still have to walk a few blocks up the street, but I get in 10 minutes early. Then I worked all day, late actually as I was prepping for a few days in an other position. I'm currently filling in for an executive secretary while she is on holiday. I had a great lunch which I had brought from home, Chicken Cordon Blue and vegetables, out of the freezer and made for dinner the night before. After work I went to Carleton and watched a full lecture, then I walked home in the dark in time to catch House M.D. before heading to bed. It was such a productive day, I hope it continues throughout the week.

Another New Word

One cool thing about university is that it can make you smarter. In my case, I often return from class with a slightly wider vocabulary. Today I learned the technical term for the point in drunkenness when a person becomes overemotional and weepy. 'Maudlin' is an adjective for being foolishly sentimental when drunk. The word stems from Mary Magdalene, who as a saint was often depicted crying. So now I can add this word to the many other drunk night descriptors (trashed, pissed, buzzed, and now maudlin.) Thank you Carleton U.

I Like Learning

I love museums! Steph (left), Jerrica (right), and I went to The Canadian Museum of Civilization this past weekend. It was free on Remembrance day, and not very busy. We only did about half of it, and did not get to do near as many crafts as we would have liked. We may have spent a good deal of time in the Children's Museum. There were many new sections (or ones I didn't remember) and a fair amount of dressing up (also in the Children's Museum).

Remembrance

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.


Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.
- John McCrae -

Chickadee

I have been going to this nature trail affectionately called 'The Chickadee Place' for as long as I can remember. It is actually called 'The F.W.R. Dickson Wilderness Area' and is a short drive out of Paris. It is a really small trail with steps and boardwalks. On the boardwalks chickadees will eat from your hand, even from the hands of little kids. We go all year round. I can remember going as a kid all bundled up, the trails completely covered in ice. I still love going there when I visit home. It is all about the chickadees. Definitely my favorite bird. (They are also the provincial bird of New Brunswick, Ontario's is the Loon.) When I was younger, I also subscribed to the children's magazine 'Chickadee' which was a younger version of 'Owl', which I got later on. Chickadee isn't really the right name (but I'm neither a biologist nor a bird watcher). Chickadees, tits, or titmice basically are the birds found in the family Paridae under the order Passeriformes (known as perching or song birds.) Most of the birds in this family look like what I would consider a chickadee. The Paridae family is composed of small stocky woodland birds with a short stout little bill. I like the ones that have the little cap and bib with a strip to the sides of the face. The name 'chickadee' is also onomatopoeic, which is my favorite literary term (when the word mimics the sound it is describing, like 'meow' or 'click'.) Yes, I have both a favorite literary term and a favorite bird and today I realised they combined. I always forget the the chickadee is another example of onomatopoeia, their call is 'chick-a-dee-dee-dee'. I don't really see them much in the city, they used to come to our feeders at home. I would put a feeder out this winter at Le Manior, but I think that the squirrels would take it over. They are cute, but not as cute as fluffy little chickadees.

Word Geek

My English Professor (for my Shakespeare course) touched briefly on the use of the suffix '-ling.' It was in the context of the villain in Marlow's play The Jew Of Malta calling the audience 'worldlylings' which is insulting. Adding '-ling' to the end of a word demeans it. It makes it mean a young, small, or inferior thing. Think 'duckling' or 'underling' or 'darling' or 'fledgling' or 'yearling'. I wish it was around more still, as it is amusingly condescending.

To Stress Or Not To Stress

I was supposed to start my birth control pills for this month yesterday. I didn't get around to it. When I went to find them today I realised I was out. I thought about it and have decided just to forgo it this month. I don't want the added time issues and financial stress of getting them this week, and I pretty much would have to get them today or tomorrow since you can't start your month too late. I'm not in any danger of anything and the month off might give my body a bit of a chemical break. So I choose not to stress and I will pick up my next three months sometime in the next few weeks and start again later.

The Many Styles Of Me

I finally got the Cotton Spandex Jersey Bandeau Dress from American Apparel. It can be worn 15 different ways! (Mind you, really it is just tying the straps differently.)

First NHL Game

I attended my first professional hockey game last night. The picture on the right is me singing the national anthem. The Sen's won, against the Thrashers, I don't remember the score. Without the TV hockey commentary and replays I have no idea what is going on. I missed most of the goals and exciting parts because I wasn't paying attention to the right part of the ice, or the ice at all. I did see the final goal by the Sens, into an empty net, while the other team had a power-play (A Direct Energy Power Play, I might add, as all parts of the game are sponsored by someone) it was very impressive hockey. Between the first and second period there was also adorable hockey, little Timbit Hockey players. I love all the flashy lights and video screens, and I still hate the fights.

Dating

I still don't want to date. I feel/know that I'm letting opportunities go by, that I'm missing out on getting to know great guys just because I'm so scared of getting into a relationship right now. I also hate the dating part. I don't like the very very start of things when your trying to figure if you like each other and then trying to see if there is any chemistry. So basically I hate the first date and the stuff that comes before that, by the second date I'm fine. So far with me, for the most part, if there is a second date then it turns into at least a year and a half relationship. I have this strange idea that I have two options, awkward pursuing/dating guys or falling into another semi-serious relationship. I don't want either, I don't want any of it. At times I think I do. I get lonely, miss the perks that comes with guys and boyfriends but for the most part I really don't want to be there again. I hate the awkward starting stage and I fear the more committed part. I think I'm going to keep letting these great guys pass me by. I'm sorry, I'm just too scared right now.

Brutus

Little Brother Mike's Girlfriend's new pet. Brutus is an adorable Pomeranian puppy. I won't see him until Christmas, hopefully he is still tiny then.

Stuck In My Head

I have this one small section of a song stuck in my head.."Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl. 'Cause it hurts like hell" (then "hurts like hell" echo's)... It is from the movie Labyrinth with David Bowie. He sings the song during the credits. It is one of my favorite movies, when I was a kid I would watch it all the time. Yes, there is David Bowie in spandex and a styled mullet, it doesn't get any better then that! I now have it on DVD and still love it. One of the cool things about movies made in the 1980's is they usually have really good 'The Making Of-- Featurettes'. Both Labyrinth and Willow have hour long ones that really show in depth how they did a lot of the special effects. Also special effects back then were done really creatively as they didn't have computers to do everything. Little Brother Mike's Girlfriend (I'm going to have to find a shorter nickname for her) just got a Teacup Pomeranian puppy. She named it Brutus because they thought that was the name for the dog in Labyrinth, but I'm pretty sure it isn't. Oh well it is still a tiny yappy dog named after the man who killed Caesar.

The List

As it was highly demanded (by no one) I thought I would post my actual Christmas list. Yes, it is in categories. Unfortunately as I copy it here I realise how much I forgot to add, always a problem when you send it out so early. Anyway, this is what I sent out to my relatives this past week:

Christine's Christmas List

London Trip
-Pounds!!
-Good quality umbrella that folds up easy and small
-Rain Coat
-UK Plug adapter

Camera
-7MP Digital Camera
-Memory Cards (adding up to 2GB)
-Walmart GC for photo printing

The Apocalypse
-Q-Tips
-Chap Stick
-Canned corn niblets
-Canned cream corn
-Canned French Cut green beans
-Canned fruit in juice (not syrup)

Winter
-Gloves
-Headbands
-Snowboarding Skull Cap
-Neck Warmer
-White sports socks (size 7 shoe)
-PJ's (LG)
-Zip-up Hoodies (M)

Work
-GC for work clothes
-GC for work shoes
-Tank Tops/Camisoles (LG)
-Black dress socks (size 7 shoe)
-Small/Medium size black backpack

Household Essentials
-Sleeping Bag
-Shot Glasses
-Hard Alchol
-Liquors for Mixing
-Phones (corded and cordless)

DVDs
-Friends Seasons (Any but 2)
-Dogma
-Star Wars (the original 3, not the new ones)
-Men in Tights
-Aladdin

CDs
-2 disk Phantom of the Opera
-Disney Movie Compilation CD (any one, or make yourself)

The Haunting

A fist punches hard into my stomach
Causing the nausea to move upward.
Cold figures grip my neck
Trying to cough the lump away
As horrible images fill my mind
Fighting against memories which don't exist
Nails scratch my eyes
Tears rush paths down a twisted face
Doubting my strengths
No longer believing what is simple truth
I'm distorted with pain
Ticks played by chemicals which attack without warning
Heart-wrenching fear, doubt, hate
Pathetic loneliness and unwarranted struggle
Nothing stops it haunting me

Baby Beaver

Never has our national animal looked so adorable as in this photo. (Yes it is a beaver and yes, look, it is wet. Do we all see the joke? Ok, good, moving on.) I have technically seen baby beavers before, it was at a zoo or science centre or something. The babies weren't out and about but there was a live feed camera inside the house that you could see them all curled up and sleeping. I think it may have been at Science North in Sudbury (BEST SCIENCE CENTRE EVER!!) They have beavers in an exhibit there and I remember you can reach into the tank and pet them when they are swimming around.

Advice

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

--
I was good advice in the '70s and it is still good advice today

Relationship Status

One of the features on everyone's Facebook Profile is listing your 'Relationship Status', this should never be done. It is a huge ordeal to change your relationship status and whenever you do, a notification goes out on all your friends Facebook News Feed. If you change a 'In a Relationship' to 'Single' or even choose no longer to show any status, a little broken heart image occurs. When W. and I broke up, changing this on my profile was the first thing I did. I thought it would be an easy little step before taking down pictures and telling friends, it was not. The morning after a break-up having an entire online network of people know what happened is not a very subtle way to start moving apart. I discussed this with Ter on the phone today and she claims listing a relationship status is 'a rookie Facebook mistake'.

Camo For Chris

This is a shot of me last Sunday in my Paintball fatigues. So very fun and the outfits you get are super sexy. As it was fall I don't think that this camofloge really works, though I'm unsure as to which season it would be for. Reminds me of Robin Williams in Good Morning Viatnam: "We've got a special man in the audience today, right now. It's Mr. Leo. He's a fashion consultant for the Army.--Oh, thank you, Adrian. I'm just very happy to be here. I want to tell you something. You know. This whole camouflage thing doesn't work very well. --Why is that? --Because you go in the jungle, I can't see you. You know, it's like wearing stripes and plaid. For me, I want something different. You know, you go in the jungle, make a statement. If you're going to fight, clash."

Breast Cancer Craze

As October is Breast Cancer Month it seems that everyone is making pink things to sell and then donating some of the proceeds to breast cancer research. Some of the stuff is tacky and some is cool. But this camera package that Future Shop is doing with Casio is by far the coolest thing. I am asking for a digital camera for Christmas as I lost mine this summer (at that huge party I hosted for Little Brother Mike and his band friends.) Despite really wanting this one, you can get others with 7MP for about $75 less. Mind you they aren't as thin or as cool as this one.

$-Mas

It has been a family tradition the past few years that I start the process of sending out Christmas Lists to everyones e-mail. Relatives have even said to me that they don't start anything until they have heard from me first, and that they want me to get going early this year so there is more time to shop. I'm hesitant to send out my list because I'm so lost on what to get anyone. It feels greedy sending out a list when I'm so at a loss for my own gift giving. I don't want to do the same thing as last year. Most years I give each family a large gift basket filled with household things, like scissors and stuff. I gather the stuff from dollerstores, Ikea, and other such places. Everyone loves it but I have done it too many years in a row now. Also, despite it being small gifts and from cheap places, because of the volume of presents that go into each one it really adds up. I want a change this year and want to keep the gifts affordable but nothing is coming to mind.

Patriotic?

Toronto Sucks

By The Arrogant Worms

---

I hate the Sky dome and the CN Tower too

I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo

The rents too high, the airs unclean

The beaches are dirty and the people are mean

And the women are big and the men are dumb

And the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum

The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork

They dress real bad and they think they're New York

In Toronto, Ontario

---

"You know, actually I think I hate all of Ontario"

I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa

Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa

London sucks and the Great Lakes suck

And Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point Sucks

I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mulrooney

He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree

I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck

"I don't even know how they did it, I was playing the organ at the time!"

Ontario Sucks

---

"Actually, now that I really think about it,

I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country!

Except Alberta, yeah I love Alberta, lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt"

I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird

And Prince Edward Island is too small

Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause its the name of a bank

New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall

Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad

Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks,

"Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer.

Now isn't that stupid!?"

Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old

And as for the territories, they're too cold!

And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia

is that its right next to us!"'

Cause Alberta doesn't suck

But Calgary does

-----------

Trade Show Swag

I went to a luncheon trade show today for work. It was really quick but super overwhelming. Hotel after hotel saying the same thing about meeting room space. I got free food, and was able to eat healthy. Lucky for me fresh cut fruit is a treat, so I loaded up on watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries and pineapple. Every booth was giving away free stuff too. Basically pens, and anything random that they could slap their name on. I brought back everything I could get and than anything I didn't want I gave to people around the office.

Paintball

I just came back from paintball with a group of people from work. It was crazy. Nothing like what I thought. I can see it being a totally addictive hobby, but completely impractical for me as it is expensive and you would need a car to go out to the places. We played a bunch of different games in different areas, for the most part it is two teams and capture the flag style. They have areas with creeks, bridges, bunkers, and even an area with a huge fort which you either have to attack or defend. For the most part the 7 of us from work were on the same team playing against groups of other people. We played a few quick small games against our selves that were hilarious, probably my favorite. Although as a team we won a few times, I never made it to the end 'alive.' Most times though I had 'hit' a few other people before I got out, which makes me feel like I did my part. Mind you, only a few people that I got I'm positive it was me that shot them. If a guy I was aiming at raised his hand said "I'm Hit!" and walked off the playing area, I assumed I probably got him. But, multiple people are aiming and shooting in the same area, so it may not have been me every time. Getting hit by the paintballs can really hurt though. About 25% of the shots you get are painful, the rest you barely feel. It really depends where you take the shot, the very first one I got was on my hand and it killed, it is all swollen and is still sore now. Somehow I didn't let that first one deter me from having a good time, and I wasn't scared or hesitant while playing. This is possibly due to the fact that when I took the shot to the hand that very first game, I also took about 3 more in the stomach and didn't really feel them. Throughout the day I got 2 more hand shots, so a couple of fingers and a knuckle are pretty red and swollen. I got nailed at the side of the head too (just behind my safety goggles), that hurt at the time but didn't leave a mark. I should probably check the rest of my body for welts and bruises from all the other shots.

I Want To Go Now

Steph and I just bought our plane tickets for our trip to London, England in the new year. Our original plan was to go from January 11-22. We waited too long to buy the tickets and the prices jumped. We have decided to instead go January 15-25. This works much better for us as the tickets were $75 cheaper then even our original plan, also the hostel we are staying in gets more expensive during the weekends and these 10 days only span one weekend instead of two, saving another $32. The plan is to start my next contract with the government on January 29th, the Monday after I return. What I have to figure out now is what I'm doing with the first 15 days of January, right now I'm unemployed during that time. My Temp Agency may have something for me, I may go home for a while, or possibly My Cool Boss at Subway will let me work for a week or so. We will see. The hardest thing of all is that I'm so excited I want to be going now, LONDON BABY!!

Riding The Greyhound

The buses I had to take to and from home this Thanksgiving weekend were horrible. They really made me question whether it was worth it to come home for such a short period of time. I knew I wouldn't see my parents, brother, or Teri for a while so I made the trek. Riding the bus, especially during busy weekends is terrible. You want to be sick because the person in front of you smells so bad, you can't read because the light above you is broken, you aren't comfortable because the person beside you is taking up too much room, and you can't sleep because the person behind you won't stop talking. Talking about his 'baby's mama' I might add. Oh Brantford you can be so white trash at times. I used to love the bus because it was so cheap and easy to use. They run all the time and whisk you away to family, friends, or fun cities. Now I think I have tired of the trips and want to find a better way to travel.

Moot Point

From 'Friends'
Joey: ....Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.

'Moot point' is a phrase that once had a firm and well-understood meaning, but no longer does. It used to mean - a matter that was uncertain or undecided, so open to debate. In medieval England it referred specifically to an assembly of people that had some sort of judicial function, and was often spelled 'mot' or 'mote'. Something that was 'mooted' was put up for discussion and decision at a meeting — by definition something not yet decided. The confusion over the meaning of 'moot point' is modern. It is a misunderstanding of another definition of 'moot' - a law school discussion forum in which hypothetical cases are argued by law students for practice. Since there is no practical outcome of these sessions, and the cases are invented , people seem to have assumed that 'a moot point' means one of no importance. So there has been a shift where the original meaning of “open to debate” has become “not worth debating”. The 'mute' spelling is a development that has come about because 'moot' is such an old and unused word, usually encountered only in this phrase; there is an understandable tendency to spell it 'mute', which also seems to fit the new meaning better.

Trippin' On Coke

I could not sleep at all last night, I tossed and turned and was all twitchy. I realised it was because I had two glasses of pop with dinner. I used to have pop all the time but now it has been weeks since I drank any and my body must not be used to caffeine anymore. I could not believe the effect it had on me, stupid Diet Coke!

Tocktober

October maybe Breast Cancer month. (And my boss maybe letting me order the pink Sharpies that give money towards research.) But according to Cute Overload (See link on Right) it is also the month to celebrate cute animal behinds, or 'tocks'. Tocktober. I love it! Though I prefer to say 'bum' since it just seems to be a funnier word, I giggle every time I say it. Hehe 'bum'. I have to say I can see the draw to animal bums. My favorite part of Toby is his little bunny bum with the little rabbit tail, oh so cute. I also love it when I'm biking home along the canal and the ducks dip completely upside down in the water to get the weeds, Duck Bum's. For some reason in my head when I see them doing that I think that they are 'dabbling', I don't know why I think it is called that, I'm sure it isn't. Maybe I read it somewhere, perhaps in this childhood book I had called 'Ducks Don't Get Wet' which was really sciency for a kids book. So maybe not in there, since I'm almost certain that 'Ducks a'dabbling' is not a scientifically accurate phrase about duck behaviour.

Slightly More Than A Monkey

An ongoing joke I have is that I photocopy for a living. Co-workers often say "Oh, but your job is so much more than that," but they would be surprised how much of my job really is just photocopying. Probably 60% of the tasks I do involve the machine at one step or another. Mind you, rarely do I just get a stack of documents that I have just have to photocopy, my work is a tad more complex then that. Often I have to fill out a form, then photocopy it, or photocopy something and then take it somewhere, or photocopy things and then organize them into binders with indexes and dividers. Sometimes I have to write things or update things, and after that, I photocopy them. I use the machine all the time. The other 40% of my work isn't any more difficult or complicated, it tends to be walking things places or filling out and distributing things online or through e-mail. The tasks maybe simple but I hold to that I work ridiculously hard, I never stop moving or thinking. It is balancing, juggling, and handling all the different tasks and people that is the true challenge at my job. I use my multitasking, prioritising, and problem solving skills everyday. I won't even begin to talk about the level of social skills required to succeed in a public sector administration position. I deal with a huge variety of people, 'cause the government takes all kinds.

A Saturday In The Market

---Cost For A Night Out In The Market---
Predrinking Booze $5-$10
Predrinking Mix $2-$5
Bus Downtown $2
Cover $2-$10
1 Fancy Drink $6-$10
2 Bar Rail Drinks $10-$12
2 Shots $6-$12
Late Night Shwarma $5
Cab Home $10
-----Total $48-$76-----

Who can afford to go out and drink any more?

I went out this Saturday with no money and couldn't have any of these things, making me very sober and it hard to get home (direct buses stop running early.) This estimated total doesn't even including treating others, dinner beforehand or the pizza that you inevitably have later on when you get home. Mind you that is alot of booze so your looking at a night that goes from 7pm-4am. It has been a while since I really went out and partied, looking at the numbers, I now see why!

Priorities

Lately people have told me that I don't have my priorities straight, that I need to look at my priorities or figure out what they are. I know what they are! I actually have them all laid out. To have friends, family, even co-workers say this to me is basically telling me that they think I'm living my life wrong. I don't see it. So to avoid further question and accusation, here are my priorities:

Financial Priorities
(Where My Money Goes)
-Rent/Bills
-School
-Travel
-Living Healthy (Food/Exercise)
-Paying Off Debt/Saving Money
-Going Out/Entertainment
-Treating My Friends
-Beauty (Teeth/Hair/Skin etc.)
-Clothes
-Decorating

Time Priorities
(Where My Time Goes)
-Work
-Friends
-School
-Going Out/Entertainment
-Cleaning/Laundry
-Beauty (Teeth/Hair/Skin etc.)
-Living Healthy (Food/Exercise)

I think my priorities are in a nice line up. If I was to change anything I think I should probably focus on spending more time on being healthy since I have put a fair amount of money into Yoga Classes and Weight Watchers Meetings. I tick away at paying off my debt, which was never that big to begin with, at a steady rate. In the past few years I have been to Paris, Portugal, and hope to soon go to London, but I can't even think of the last time I bought clothes or house decorating things. I don't have a car or a house, nor do I hope to at any point in the near future. I'm happy with the decisions I make and I stick by them.

Slowing Down

I guess I have slowed down my blogging. It seems I'm posting about every other day instead of everyday. This is for a bunch of reasons. I think the big one is not having a digital camera anymore, I really miss it but definitely can't afford to get another one. Also there are less people commenting, and I work alot so my life is a tad more boring. Wait, my life was always boring, scratch that last reason.

Not Just A Comedy

I watched Knocked Up at Steph's house last night and I have to say it wasn't amazingly hilarious like everyone said. It was funny, very funny, but it was also dramatic, real, and at times quite emotional. Judd Apatow makes really interesting movies. In terms of the biggest ones, he has produced, Anchorman, 40-Year Old Virgin, Talagada Nights, and Knocked Up, as well as Superbad which I have yet to see. As a producer, Anchorman and Talagada Nights are outright comedies, farces even, with extremely exaggerated characters. But when he also writes and directs, as in 40-Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up, they are more of a romantic comedy for guys. They have real situations. The guys sometimes act like tools and the girls sometimes get irrational and it all hits really close to home. Even some lines from the script, I have had guys say to me or I have said to a guy. I didn't laugh all the way through Knocked Up, but I definitely enjoyed it.

Tooth Care Snag

I have found a snag in my new and improved tooth care routine. I'm flossing every morning and brushing my teeth in a new way suggested by my dentist (softly and in only one directions, up or down from the gums.) I wanted to finish off the whole ordeal with a swish of Listerine to further improve my mouth care. Listerine is supposed to prevent tater, plaque, and gingivitis. (Evil Gingivitis.) Well I bought it last weekend when I went to Shoppers with Steph but I didn't start using it until today, and it is TERRIBLE. I can't stand the taste it nearly made me sick. I didn't have time to drink anything or wash it away until I got to work this morning so I nearly gagged on my bike ride. I'm never using that stuff again, the flossing and brushing will have to be enough!

Another Great Combo

Every now and then TV delivers an amazing combination. Tonight it was Family Guy and Star Wars. I can't even figure out which I love more. I just finished watching an hour long Family Guy show that 'retells' the 4th episode of Star Wars (A New Hope). When I was younger I used to watch the 'original three' Star Wars movies all the time. They are so exciting and fun. They remind me of good times with my family. When they got re-released into theatre I saw each one, including A New Hope in the US with my family when we were on our way back from somewhere. Family Guy reminds me of hours spent in the common room of Steph, Em, and my rez room with tons of people. It is so funny and shocking. We watched the first three seasons, over and over again. So to me, Family Guy means University, friends, and independence. To put the two together is just amazing. TV has such gems sometimes.

Salesman Philosophy

"A washer. You want to sell those, cause people need it right away. You don't come in looking at a washer cause you want to change the colour, you come in because you need them."
-G. Sweeton, Sept 23, 2007

With No Voice

Because of the cold and flu I have been battling this past week I have lost my voice. I have spent the day at work trying to avoid making phone calls since I sound so ridiculous. Like a little boy going through puberty. I'm a weird combination of horse and squeaky. Amusingly as I look to write on my blog I don't even have anything to say. My mind has become as speechless and incoherent as my voice.

I Can See!!

I went out Friday night with Ami, her boyfriend, her boyfriend's friend, and Wendy. Ami's childhood friend who now lives in Montreal. Of course, we girls wanted to look pretty so we got all dressed up. Contacts in, heels on, hair down and curly, make-up, the whole nine yards. I love to sip martini's and feel fabulous. We had a great time. The next morning I had to wake up fairly early to bike to a leg waxing appointment. In a clumpy mascara, chapped lipped, messy hair moment that can only happen early Saturday mornings when you are hung over, I biked a couple of blocks. Half way there I reached up to brush at my eye and realised something was wrong. I touched my face again and realised I wasn't wearing my glasses. I started to panic, as I need them and didn't have time to go back for them. Then I started to get scared, as I was biking on the road, my bike started to swerve widely and I wondered how I had gotten as far as I did without them. Then I looked up at a distant front yard and realised I could see fine. Nothing was blurry. Shocked at how great my sight was, I thought for a good two blocks that I was cured, or that eye doctors had been so very wrong about my needing of glasses. Happy, thrilled actually, I couldn't believe my luck. Then it hit me, I had never done it before, but in my drunken haze the night before, I had fallen asleep with my contacts still in.

As A Reporter

I have signed up to be a last minute writer for the Carleton University student newspaper, The Charlatan. I think I will probably un-sign up soon as I can never seem to make the deadlines and I don't really like the journalistic writing style. The most recent assignment allowed for more creativity though and this issue I made top story in the section, Perspectives.

The Greatest City

-Paris, By Teri Osmond

On Facebook, Teri has just put up three albums worth of photo's from her trip to Europe. The second two are from Nice, Florence, Venice, and Rome. They make me so jealous, and amazed. I can't believe the things she saw and how beautiful everything is, mesmerising. I love Europe, I need to live there. Her first Facebook photo album is from Paris. Every picture brought me back. It was like I never left, those two weeks were not long enough. I love Paris, I need to live there too. Anna's place is just a few blocks to the right of the above picture. I saw this view (and crossed the bridge Ter must be standing on to take the picture) dozens of times each day. So much I may have started to take it for granted.

Question Of The Day

What is the difference between a workshop and a seminar?

First Class

I had my first class of this school year last night. It went well, and ended an hour early. I have to say, I raised my hand, a lot. There are two types of university students, those who raise their hand in class to answer and pose questions, and those who do not. There are facebook groups for both points of view. People usually stand very strongly on this issue, those that don't raise their hand, hate it when others do, as it tends to add length to the class and they often have seemingly stupid comments. I'm on the other side of the fence. I think class participation is important, interesting, and beneficial. If I have an opportunity to participate I will pay more attention in class. I enjoy when people speak in class, as long as they don't ramble on. In my defence I attempt to only ever say a few words or possibly a single sentence. I think there is nothing worse then a prof looking around for someone to answer a question when no one is volunteering. I will raise my hand with pride!

For Better Or For Worse - Flashbacks

Lynn Johnston’s ‘For Better or For Worse’ will continue in flashback form

By BRIAN McTAVISH The Kansas City Star
Lynn Johnston’s nearly 30-year-old comic strip, “For Better or for Worse,” was supposed to end this month upon her long-planned retirement. But the 60-year-old Canadian cartoonist’s plans have changed. “At one point I used to say: ‘September, September, September,’ said. “But you can’t end a 30-year-long story like that. It’s too complicated. There are too many (characters) involved, and there are too many unfinished episodes.” So the popular strip chronicling the ups and downs of the Patterson family in more than 2,000 newspapers, including The Star, will now wind up its current storyline sometime in 2008, partly using reprint material framed as flashbacks. After that, “For Better or for Worse” will restart three decades in the past and continue indefinitely as a hybrid of mostly classic strips with only occasional new work from Johnston.

Oh Country Music

I rarely, and I mean rarely, listen to music, and it is even more rare for that music to be country, but some of those country tunes hit home so hard. "I Hope You Dance" by Lee Ann Womack has been around for a while. I'm sure it has been played at quite a few weddings and such, but hearing it today at work (the ladies I'm sitting with have a radio with Easy Rock playing all the time) brought back what a sweet song it is.

I Hope You Dance

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,

You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,

May you never take one single breath for granted,

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,

Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,

Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',

Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',

Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,

When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,

Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

-Lee Ann Womack

Your Big Decision

Ontario is having a referendum along with the provincial election on October 10th. I strongly believe in voting and am always disappointed in voter turn out for the various elections. In terms of the election itself, I have yet to really follow the politics. (Though I believe one party is wanting to implement teaching Creationism beside Evolution in high schools, which scares me, so I'm really going to have to look into it.) I have started to think about the referendum though. When I first heard a little bit about the ideas to changed the election process, I was not impressed. I like it the way it is and am hesitant to add the further complexities the proposed system has. The Mixed Member Proportional system and the voting for it seems more confusing. I feel politics should be simple. The question for the referendum was released in February and after reading it I was actually really impressed with it's simplicity!
Which electoral system should Ontario use to elect members to the provincial legislature?
-The existing electoral system (First-Past-the-Post)
-The alternative electoral system proposed by the Citizens’ Assembly (Mixed Member Proportional)
I still haven't decided with electoral system I would prefer for Ontario, as there are pros and cons for both. It is costing the Ontario Government over $6 Million to run this referendum, so it is important that we all take learning about it and voting seriously. The official website is a good place to research. There is also always Wikipedia and Google searches for further research.

I'm Flossing

I have added flossing to my morning routine. Well I have done it twice now, which I feel is a good start. It came about for a number of reasons. Steph has just come back from a bunch of dentist appointments that were a tad traumatic for her, so unfair because she is amazing to her teeth. I have been thinking about my Grandma a lot lately, and one thing I remember is how much she looked after her teeth, she was always so proud that she still had her own and that they were in great shape. I had my annual cleaning scheduled for the week I was at the cottage, so when they called to remind me Anna had to cancel it for me since I couldn't make it, which means I'm over due for a trip to the dentist. All these things have led me to the desire to be more diligent with my tooth care. This evening I'm hoping to start doing the 14-day Crest White Strips that Steph gave me for Christmas (or my Birthday, I don't even remember it was so long ago.) Cleaner, healthy, and whiter teeth are just around the corner!

The Sub

A reflection back on my time at Subway. Both at the Paris store and here in Ottawa. Here is a list of customer pet peeves that various Subway employees I have worked with have. None of them are really a big deal to me, as I don't tend to get annoyed with customers, but they do bug a lot of people...

-mispronouncing item names (Chipotle, Parmesan, Monterey, Oregano)

-letting us put the vegetables on when you want it toasted

-getting to the cash and then ordering another sub

-letting us glove up when you only want a drink

-leaving a mess at the table (Everyone hates this one)

It is usually pretty frustrating when taking your order if you are also...

-talking on your cell phone

-talking to your friend

-making out (Ok, I hate this one)

Despite the pain that customers can be I still hope to open a store with Teri at some point.

The Customers

I just finished my last shift at Subway and I realised one of the hardest things about leaving that job is leaving the customers and customer service part of it. I loved meeting and interacting with all the people who came through the store. I had created little relationships with many of them. It was the perfect outlet for my chattiness. There were always a number of good looking guys too, gotta love the eye candy!

Museum Or Memorial

I understand that by having the word 'Canada' in the title, I should understand that The Canadian War Museum will have a slight bias. On Tuesday this week it was decided that they would adjust the wording of a display panel since it upset Canadian veterans. Since its unveiling, the "Strategic Bombing: An Enduring Controversy" panel has been surrounded with its own controversy. The panel which questions the value and morality of Allied raids that killed 600,000 Germans and left another five million homeless. Upset at the portrayal of World War II bombings, veterans protested against the panel. The panel and its wording are not lies.

History can be so varied and told in many different ways. It is important that many perspectives are seen and discussed. If we cannot debate and study the many sides of war in a War Museum, where should we? Horrible things happen in war, the stories need to be told. Canada has done terrible things to people all over the world and even within our own nation. I feel it is below us to deny, hide, or rewrite history. All veterans are brave and noble people who fought for our country and our values. However, we need to still question choices and actions made in war.

Made My Month

I found out last night that my local corner store sells cat litter. This is extremely exciting because the store is so close and open fairly late. It is even $2 cheaper then buying it in the grocery store. I will never again have an excuse for Binx's litter to not be full, fresh and perfect!!

Old Window's Games

Do you remember this games? Don't you miss them? Ami's boyfriend found them and showed her where to download them off the net. I found the free download and used the self-extracting file since I don't have winzip. I can't wait to play all the old school stuff now. Oh it brings me back to Grade 10.

New Link

I have adjusted some of the links to the right. Halley is no longer in Paris and is back to her regular life in Tacoma, so her Blog is now just called "Halley's Blog". It is still very interesting and has flavours of Paris and her time living there still in her writing. I have added "B+T's Japan Blog" as this cute couple I know are heading to Japan and will be writing a blog about their experience. Best of luck to Brian and Tina.

Humour

I feel I have a good sense of humour, or at least a sense of humour in general be it good or bad. It is hard to nail down what it is that I do to be funny since it isn't really witty, goofy, sarcastic, or silly. I think I tend to try to be exaggerated and melodramatic for a humourous effect at the ridiculousness of my statements or behaviour. I feel this might make me satirical in nature. (I have always loved satire.)

Basically I tend to exaggerate to draw notice to the ridiculousness of other people, possibly even those around me, which I guess is, in a way, slightly insulting. More often though it is poking fun at a dumb societal idea, stereotype, or behaviour like "the drama queen" or "the dumb girl." I tend to be pretty ironic and occasionally sarcastic, both of which can be tied at times to satire. I definitely feel that this is a area of humour and literature that I'm interested in and should pursue further.

Men And The Phone

He was too busy to call...
"Oh sure, they say they're busy. They say that they didn't have even a moment in their insanely busy day to pick up the phone. It was just that crazy. Bullshit. With the advent of payphones, cell phones and speed dialing it is almost impossible not to call you. Sometimes I call people from my pants pocket when I don't even mean to. We may try to make you think differently but we men are just like you. We like taking a break from our generally mundane day to talk to someone we like. It makes us happy. And we like to be happy. Just like you. If I were into you, you would be the bright spot in my horribly busy day. Which would be a day that I would never be too busy to call you." -G.B

He says he will call at a certain time, but doesn't...
"Most guys will say what they think you want to hear at the end of a date or phone call, "I will call you over the weekend" or "I will give you a call tomorrow", rather than say nothing at all. Some guys are lying, some guys really mean it. Here is how you tell the difference: You know they mean it when they actually do what they said they were going to do. Here is something else to think about: Calling when you say you're going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you aren't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside." -G.B.

If he really likes you, he calls...
"A picture of what you'll never see when you're with a guy who's really into you: You'll never see you staring at your phone willing it to ring. You'll never see you ruining an evening with friends because he forgot to call. You'll never see you hating yourself for calling him when you know you shouldn't have. What you will see is you being treated so well that no phone antics will be necessary, You'll be too busy being adored" -G.B.

The final two points...
"If he's not calling you, it's because you are not on his mind."-G.B.

"You deserve a fucking phone call." 

-Greg Behrendt from 'He's Just Not That Into You'

He's Just Not That Into You

"When it comes to men, 

deal with them as they are, 

not how you'd like them to be." 

I just finished reading this book, by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo. It was really worth picking up. I'm almost tempted to buy it for every girl I know, even more tempted to buy it for myself. The authors claim that the book and concept is liberating, and that isn't 100% true. I found some of it depressing and upsetting, especially when reflecting on my own past and failed romances. Pretty much everything rang true in the book though and it really made me feel like I was worth love and great relationships. I hope to be stronger and smarter with dating in the future. There were a number of strong, eye-opening points.

From now on, I will stop making excuses for and accepting excuses from guys; stop putting up with and living in a less-then-loving relationship; and won't waste any more of my friend's and my time with crying about, and analysing, hurtful behaviour. If I am doing these things, then the guy has done something that is showing he isn't that interested me and what I care about. If he truly wanted to pursue me or be in a relationship with me, then I should be happy and content with his behavior towards me a vast majority of the time.

Some very basic and very simple truths from the book:
-- He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out
-- It is abuse if he yells at you, publicly humiliates you, or makes you feel fat and unattractive
-- By staying with a guy that isn't perfect for you, you are ensuring you never find one who is
-- Most men do not change and if they do it is only when they met a new women
-- Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with

The Best Ride

For excitement, fear, thrills, and fun nothing beats the basic midway ride, The Zipper. The Paris Fair always has it, as does the Ottawa Exhibition, which I visited tonight with some friends. What adds to the fear is knowing how many times the ride has been assembled and dissembled each year, and how far all its pieces travel and who exactly puts it together each time.

In Paris, guys in my high school would just hang around the fair grounds a couple days before it all opened and help set things up. Safety regulations? You're held into the cages by a simple strip of metal. The chance of accident seems greater then in the streamlined amusement park rides, with their many locking safety bars and straps.

The impracticability of The Zipper is also amazing, there is no track to help you know when your going to go upside down or flip, it could happen at anytime and in a number of different ways. I rode it twice and may try to get back to ride it some more this week.

My Creative Family

My little cousin, Carla, shot and directed a music video for the Alexisonfire Rough Hands Music Video Contest. Her older brother, obviously also my cousin, stars in it as the male lead. I can't believe how good he is in it. I also can't believe how good the video is in general. I'm so proud of her! Wow Carla!!

[2017 Update] This post previously contained a link to the music video that is no longer active.

Anna and The Boy Roommate

Anna and The Boy Roommate are pretty much completely moved out. There are still some of their stuff around but they are sleeping and living at their new apartment now. The big move was yesterday. I'm not ready to have them gone yet. Beyond the fact that I have to give up having a guy around who could fix anything; Anna's amazing comforter that I have been sleeping with; and the only phone in the house that ever really worked; I really will have to let go of the fact that I won't be living with two of my really good friends anymore.

I don't know who is going to provide the comic relief with The Boy Roommate gone and Anna is such a great friend I will miss her company so much. I know they are just around the corner, and we will get together lots. It just feels like the house is a little empty and lonely right now and I miss them so much. Time spent with Anna always feels too short. The time she was here before going to France wasn't long enough, the time I spent with her in Paris wasn't long enough, and definitely the time spent living together after she returned wasn't long enough either. I miss her, already.

Great News

My government job got extended until the end of December. I'm really happy since I love it there. I'm going to still take two night courses at Carleton to work towards my degree. We will see what happens for January though, I may go back full time then.

Murphy's Law

Of course the first morning I have my bike back it rains. I ended up having Anna drive me to work. I need to go downtown after work, so I will take a bus home from there. I don't want summer to end, it makes me so sad. Gloomy, cold Fall days really depress me.