Dating

I still don't want to date. I feel/know that I'm letting opportunities go by, that I'm missing out on getting to know great guys just because I'm so scared of getting into a relationship right now. I also hate the dating part. I don't like the very very start of things when your trying to figure if you like each other and then trying to see if there is any chemistry. So basically I hate the first date and the stuff that comes before that, by the second date I'm fine. So far with me, for the most part, if there is a second date then it turns into at least a year and a half relationship. I have this strange idea that I have two options, awkward pursuing/dating guys or falling into another semi-serious relationship. I don't want either, I don't want any of it. At times I think I do. I get lonely, miss the perks that comes with guys and boyfriends but for the most part I really don't want to be there again. I hate the awkward starting stage and I fear the more committed part. I think I'm going to keep letting these great guys pass me by. I'm sorry, I'm just too scared right now.