Grandma

Ancient toys, plastic dolls
War time stories of love and life
You cooked the goose, baked the cake
Sit and eat
Eat and laugh
Sitting there next to me

Decorations in snow, skaters on ice
Yearly traditions of sand and surf
Walking slow, the slightest limp
Sit and talk
Talk and learn
Walking there next to me

I clutch what I have left from you
A crumpled scarf, a faded card
Sit and rock
Rock and cry
Praying that you are next to me
Knowing that you are right here
Next to me

Christmas In The Capital

I bought some Christmas decorations for the house. We now have a green and red garland on the side table in the living room, it acts as a Christmas tree. I also got all my roommates gifts. They were purchased, wrapped, and opened yesterday, all within three hours. I figure the rest of my Ottawa friends will be getting their gifts in the new year, since I like shopping at home rather then here.

Portugal Conditioner

I ran out of conditioner and had to start a new bottle. The only one I have left is the one I bought in Portugal this past February. Crema Suavizante Fortificante, and the only reason I knew it was conditioner and not shampoo is that it is Fructis brand and the bottle rests upside down not right side up. Now I use it in the bath and think of Europe. Though I don't have the above view or the full marble bathroom. The picture on the left was taken from inside the shower.

The Office Christmas Party

I'm trying to convince My Cool Boss to have some sort of Christmas Party. Two of my roommates went out last night to work parties, and I'm just jealous of the free food and drinks. I always had fun at work parties in the past and as you get older they get even more interesting.

The After-After-Theatre Party

As Cosmo is my guide book
Paris Hilton is my muse
The hair-straightener my weapon
E-Talk Daily is my news
So I went out this evening
And I wore my pretty shoes.

Long Point

This is where my cottage is. The aerial shot makes it look really exotic, not bad for Southern Ontario. It so beautiful and has an amazing sand beach. This is the tip of it, not really inhabited, air access only, we are closer to the mainland.

7-Eleven

I took a late evening walk with Em and Ami to the 7-Eleven to get some snacks for my essay writing. I grabbed a slushie and some chips and dip, I figured it was a good treat to eat while watching The Daily Show and Stephen Colbert. It was a nice break from typing up my King Lear essay for British Literature. I had barely had any when my stomach started to hurt. Now I'm wide awake from all the pop that was in the jumbo slushie, sick from the chips and dip, but still working on the damn essay.

Like

Today I finally learned about the new use of the word 'like'. This word already had a complicated definition, but lately has started to be used in even more ways. I have been studying the history of the English language and in the 1980's the stereotype of the valley girl used the word in a new way. In the past 20 years people have started to use 'like' as a leader for a quotation. My mom called and I was like, "Don't tell her I'm here". 'Like' is also used as a narrative, which means it is placed into pauses as someone thinks about what to say next, similar to 'eh', 'so', 'well', 'uhh', and 'umm'. So, like, that is it.

She Is Into Art

She looks so feminine
Baggy pants, layered look
Wide eyed she talks to you
Wants to help the Pigmy's in Burma
Or something
She's into art
And your into her

She smells of sandalwood
Rosehips, hemp
Incense burns as you smoke together
Save the environment
Help the large sea mammal
You believe her bullshit
And its killing me

She is the definition of petite
Short, thin
A determined step she walks with you
Sketch book under her arm
Huge bag over her shoulder
Sewn by hand, Fair Trade
No meat
She only eats organic
You love it, all of it
And you want her
And not me

First Time At The Pier

Went to Pier 21 with Kristen and The Princess. The Princess fixed me up first, taught me some valuable going out tricks. Always layer by wearing two shirts, though makes you sweat more you will somehow look better. There may have been a case of VPL (Visible Panty Line) that she just couldn't handle, but there is no way I'm switching to thongs. From 10pm to 4am, and the time just flew by. After the bar we gave Kristen her first Shwarma and then later on when told of my food options back at the house I believe I actually said "I want the ice cream and the cheese" Note to self: only eat food when sober. It was a great night, but I should really start giving out a fake number, I think it would just be easier in the long run. Why do I aim so high, but end up so low?

Get Thee To A Theatre

I just came back from William Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream which I went to go see with Kristen and WifeT. It was put on by Sock'n'Buskin, a theatre group run out of Carleton. This is one of my least favorite Shakespearean comedies but I loved this production. It was incredibly done with excellent attention to detail. It is playing at 8pm, in the Alumni Theatre November 16-18 & 23-25, 2006. I completely suggest going to see it, really really amazing, done so well.

Not Again

On Tuesday I had to work nights. This means I get home around Midnight Thirty. I thought because we have time shifting with our cable that I would be able to watch House MD at 1am. It turned out that it showed at midnight only so I just got to watch the last little bit, and didn't really understand it. Thank goodness last night on Stephen Colbert it happened again, Stephen talked about House, and put a picture up. I can't handle it when they are both on one screen, it is too intense. Go watch the video, it was on a segment about People Magazines Sexist Men Of The Year, and House and Stephen Colbert both were mentioned, People knows what it is talking about!!

Daddy Editing

Growing up, we always had a large collection of movies, mostly illegally taped onto VHS or Beta by my dad. Interestingly, if it was a movie that my brother and I were allowed to watch, it was occasionally censured by him in the taping process. Usually for blood and graphic or frightening scenes, because I'm a wimp and would get upset, often unable to sleep at night. We knew this happened, and never really noticed. Teri and I used to watch Uncle Buck all the time at my house, then something happened and we lost the tape. Eventually we rented it to watch again. There were sections of the movie that had been totally missing from the copy we had always watched. Mainly the plot about the boyfriend sexually assaulting the older daughter and then Uncle Buck going after him. I watched The Three Musketeers tonight and realized my dad had done a number on that one as well. Amusingly it is a Disney film so pretty tame, but I had never seen most of the dungeon scenes before now.

Slow Morning

With one sock on I stare at the screen,
Honestly people, whats it all mean?

My First 'B'

I just got my mark back from the hardest test so far this year. I got a 78%, this is my first B of this term. Everything had been going so well, ridiculously well, but this test was long, hard, and I was not as prepared as I could have been. I still made it in above the average and with the other marks I have gotten in this class I should still be able to pull off a high mark. I wish that this had humbled me more, but really it has just motivated me to work harder and continue to get high marks. I want that scholarship back!

Million Dollar Smile

Tonight on the phone My Cool Boss said "You sound like a million bucks". I have never understood that expression. Does it mean I'm so wonderful that is what I would be worth? or I sound so happy, like I just won that much money? or successful and competent, like I run a million dollar business? When I was younger my dad used to say I had a million dollar smile and every now and then when looking at a picture he would say "See there is that million dollar smile". (I believe he said it about this one, my high school graduation picture. Man, I miss my long hair.) That expression also makes no sense to me. "Million watt smile" would, since that would mean it was a bright smile, but the money thing I just don't get.

Pill Free And Happy

My night was great from start to end. I got a drive home from work with Cool Boss's Younger Sister since it was raining. After chilling for a bit I did Tae-bo, little sweat and loss of breath, bring on the endorphins. I made salsa and cheese wiz to go with nachos. Watched movies, including Cruel Intentions, an excellent film which is seriously sexy. Some downtime in my room with my laptop, actually on my lap, which I haven't done in a while because it used to overheat on uneven surfaces. Then back downstairs to spend time painting with Ami, almost finished a picture which I will give as a present at Christmas. Now it is off to bed, feeling satisfied with a Saturday night well spent.

Nibs

Last week when I was grocery shopping I bought a package of Nibs because they were on sale and I was looking for a treat. I opened the bag a few days ago and realized that I don't really like them, mainly because they remind me of what I think Christmas Elf poo would look like. When I told Ami this, she agreed, but said it would only be that colour if the elf was hemorrhaging. Either way, I don't think I will buy Nibs again, even if they are on sale.

Blogging

I admit this post is pretty much just blogging for the sake of blogging. Must. Keep. Writing. In. My. Blog. Even if life feels pointless and unexciting. Money is tight, school is getting hard, I have a cold, and don't feel like doing anything, I keep falling into the same boring pathetic patterns, no need to write about them, again. Still I feel the world needs my mindless chattering so ... I. Must. Keep. Writing. In. My. Blog.

Pampering

I really need a day at a spa. With a pedicure, leg wax, facial, and hair cut. I totally can't afford this, nor will I be able to for a long time, but it is nice to dream.

Leisure Time

What should the average person do when they are not working? Is there more merit in watching a Documentary or a Vin Diesel film? Are we not taking full advantage of our leisure time? Should our time away from work be light hearted or serious? Is there more value in artisan or industrial production? What is the difference in value between art and entertainment? How do these distinctions compare to the difference between elite superiority over mass taste? Has the mass productivity of our leisure time brought us cultural homogenization? Should we be concerned about crowd psychology or mass manipulation in our entertainment? Is there skepticism about the consequences of capitalism, excessive materialism or even disdain towards these values? Where are we even getting our values from? Are these not moral distinctions and judgements? Possibly from a more traditional time? Have our values even changed?

Chuck Norris

- When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

- Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

- Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.

- There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

- Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

- Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

- Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.

- Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

(Above picture is My New Roommate's boyfriend, soon to be our Boy Roommate, as Chuck Norris)

A Vision

I was sleeping the other night when I started to hear a male voice saying "Jesus is my only friend" over and over in my head. It didn't freak me out that much, just made me wonder if I did indeed have no friends (except for Jesus) or should start going to church like I always say that I'm going to. Later in the day I realised that it is actually a line from a Smashing Pumpkins song, oh Billy Corgan.

Great Funeral Prayer (Family Guy)

[Stewie and Brian are burying Brian's mother who was stuffed and used as a endtable by her owners after her death]

Brian Griffin: Say something.

Stewie Griffin: What?

Brian Griffin: I don't know just say something.

Stewie Griffin: Um And God said to Abraham, "you will kill your son Isaac". And Abraham said, "I'm sorry I couldn't quite hear that. You'll need to talk into the microphone". And God said, "Oh is this better? Hey Jerry up the reverb because I'm getting a lot of hissing up here".

Brian Griffin: Say something about my mother.

Stewie Griffin: Oh all right. Um I never knew Biscuit as a dog. I only knew her as a table. She was sturdy, all four legs the same length...

Brian Griffin: Thanks, thanks that's enough.

Stewie Griffin: Ah yes. Requiem and tarapax and so forth, amen.

The Break Up Card

I feel this concept needs to be better defined, and the rules written out. A Break Up Card can be used to get your friends to pretty much do what ever you want, go where ever you want, talk whenever you want, deal with late night phone calls, take you on trips for distraction etc. The line "I just went through a break up" just needs to be said, otherwise known as "Pulling The Break Up Card". Any time it is used the only rule is it shouldn't financially cost the friend much money. It last for:
1 Week - A peaceful break up, either mutual or self induced
2 Weeks - An upsetting break up, usually being dumped
4 Weeks- If being cheating on is a factor at all
(My card ran out today, W. and I got our 1 Week. This doesn't mean you are over the person or relationship at all, just my friends are no longer at my beck and call.)

So Late

I have totally screwed up my sleeping clock. (You may have notice I have been posting at all hours of the day and night lately.) When I want to sleep I can't, so I'm at the whim of my body, if it is tired I head to bed, even if it means long naps. This is always such a destructive pattern and leads to me being an emotional mess and my school suffering. I plan to stop this in its tracks right now: So I'm off to bed and waking up early to go and do yoga, I hope this works.

CRISIS, Mouse Crisis, Part Three

I was watching TV late tonight, when Binx walked down the stairs carrying a half dead mouse by the tail in her mouth, she dropped it in the main hallway in front of me. I screamed, as per usual, and Ami came again to take care of it, she can't handle much more of this. I then burst into tears and have pretty much been crying since. I'm just so scared and alone, it is so hard to deal with by myself, I have no where to hide or place to escape, no one to hold me, comfort me, protect me. I can't handle this, I'm not strong enough. My mouse crisis has pretty much turned into a breakdown.