Dating

I still don't want to date. I feel/know that I'm letting opportunities go by, that I'm missing out on getting to know great guys just because I'm so scared of getting into a relationship right now. I also hate the dating part. I don't like the very very start of things when your trying to figure if you like each other and then trying to see if there is any chemistry. So basically I hate the first date and the stuff that comes before that, by the second date I'm fine. So far with me, for the most part, if there is a second date then it turns into at least a year and a half relationship. I have this strange idea that I have two options, awkward pursuing/dating guys or falling into another semi-serious relationship. I don't want either, I don't want any of it. At times I think I do. I get lonely, miss the perks that comes with guys and boyfriends but for the most part I really don't want to be there again. I hate the awkward starting stage and I fear the more committed part. I think I'm going to keep letting these great guys pass me by. I'm sorry, I'm just too scared right now.

Brutus

Little Brother Mike's Girlfriend's new pet. Brutus is an adorable Pomeranian puppy. I won't see him until Christmas, hopefully he is still tiny then.

Stuck In My Head

I have this one small section of a song stuck in my head.."Don't tell me truth hurts, little girl. 'Cause it hurts like hell" (then "hurts like hell" echo's)... It is from the movie Labyrinth with David Bowie. He sings the song during the credits. It is one of my favorite movies, when I was a kid I would watch it all the time. Yes, there is David Bowie in spandex and a styled mullet, it doesn't get any better then that! I now have it on DVD and still love it. One of the cool things about movies made in the 1980's is they usually have really good 'The Making Of-- Featurettes'. Both Labyrinth and Willow have hour long ones that really show in depth how they did a lot of the special effects. Also special effects back then were done really creatively as they didn't have computers to do everything. Little Brother Mike's Girlfriend (I'm going to have to find a shorter nickname for her) just got a Teacup Pomeranian puppy. She named it Brutus because they thought that was the name for the dog in Labyrinth, but I'm pretty sure it isn't. Oh well it is still a tiny yappy dog named after the man who killed Caesar.

The List

As it was highly demanded (by no one) I thought I would post my actual Christmas list. Yes, it is in categories. Unfortunately as I copy it here I realise how much I forgot to add, always a problem when you send it out so early. Anyway, this is what I sent out to my relatives this past week:

Christine's Christmas List

London Trip
-Pounds!!
-Good quality umbrella that folds up easy and small
-Rain Coat
-UK Plug adapter

Camera
-7MP Digital Camera
-Memory Cards (adding up to 2GB)
-Walmart GC for photo printing

The Apocalypse
-Q-Tips
-Chap Stick
-Canned corn niblets
-Canned cream corn
-Canned French Cut green beans
-Canned fruit in juice (not syrup)

Winter
-Gloves
-Headbands
-Snowboarding Skull Cap
-Neck Warmer
-White sports socks (size 7 shoe)
-PJ's (LG)
-Zip-up Hoodies (M)

Work
-GC for work clothes
-GC for work shoes
-Tank Tops/Camisoles (LG)
-Black dress socks (size 7 shoe)
-Small/Medium size black backpack

Household Essentials
-Sleeping Bag
-Shot Glasses
-Hard Alchol
-Liquors for Mixing
-Phones (corded and cordless)

DVDs
-Friends Seasons (Any but 2)
-Dogma
-Star Wars (the original 3, not the new ones)
-Men in Tights
-Aladdin

CDs
-2 disk Phantom of the Opera
-Disney Movie Compilation CD (any one, or make yourself)

The Haunting

A fist punches hard into my stomach
Causing the nausea to move upward.
Cold figures grip my neck
Trying to cough the lump away
As horrible images fill my mind
Fighting against memories which don't exist
Nails scratch my eyes
Tears rush paths down a twisted face
Doubting my strengths
No longer believing what is simple truth
I'm distorted with pain
Ticks played by chemicals which attack without warning
Heart-wrenching fear, doubt, hate
Pathetic loneliness and unwarranted struggle
Nothing stops it haunting me

Baby Beaver

Never has our national animal looked so adorable as in this photo. (Yes it is a beaver and yes, look, it is wet. Do we all see the joke? Ok, good, moving on.) I have technically seen baby beavers before, it was at a zoo or science centre or something. The babies weren't out and about but there was a live feed camera inside the house that you could see them all curled up and sleeping. I think it may have been at Science North in Sudbury (BEST SCIENCE CENTRE EVER!!) They have beavers in an exhibit there and I remember you can reach into the tank and pet them when they are swimming around.

Advice

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

And the wisdom to know the difference

--
I was good advice in the '70s and it is still good advice today

Relationship Status

One of the features on everyone's Facebook Profile is listing your 'Relationship Status', this should never be done. It is a huge ordeal to change your relationship status and whenever you do, a notification goes out on all your friends Facebook News Feed. If you change a 'In a Relationship' to 'Single' or even choose no longer to show any status, a little broken heart image occurs. When W. and I broke up, changing this on my profile was the first thing I did. I thought it would be an easy little step before taking down pictures and telling friends, it was not. The morning after a break-up having an entire online network of people know what happened is not a very subtle way to start moving apart. I discussed this with Ter on the phone today and she claims listing a relationship status is 'a rookie Facebook mistake'.

Camo For Chris

This is a shot of me last Sunday in my Paintball fatigues. So very fun and the outfits you get are super sexy. As it was fall I don't think that this camofloge really works, though I'm unsure as to which season it would be for. Reminds me of Robin Williams in Good Morning Viatnam: "We've got a special man in the audience today, right now. It's Mr. Leo. He's a fashion consultant for the Army.--Oh, thank you, Adrian. I'm just very happy to be here. I want to tell you something. You know. This whole camouflage thing doesn't work very well. --Why is that? --Because you go in the jungle, I can't see you. You know, it's like wearing stripes and plaid. For me, I want something different. You know, you go in the jungle, make a statement. If you're going to fight, clash."

Breast Cancer Craze

As October is Breast Cancer Month it seems that everyone is making pink things to sell and then donating some of the proceeds to breast cancer research. Some of the stuff is tacky and some is cool. But this camera package that Future Shop is doing with Casio is by far the coolest thing. I am asking for a digital camera for Christmas as I lost mine this summer (at that huge party I hosted for Little Brother Mike and his band friends.) Despite really wanting this one, you can get others with 7MP for about $75 less. Mind you they aren't as thin or as cool as this one.

$-Mas

It has been a family tradition the past few years that I start the process of sending out Christmas Lists to everyones e-mail. Relatives have even said to me that they don't start anything until they have heard from me first, and that they want me to get going early this year so there is more time to shop. I'm hesitant to send out my list because I'm so lost on what to get anyone. It feels greedy sending out a list when I'm so at a loss for my own gift giving. I don't want to do the same thing as last year. Most years I give each family a large gift basket filled with household things, like scissors and stuff. I gather the stuff from dollerstores, Ikea, and other such places. Everyone loves it but I have done it too many years in a row now. Also, despite it being small gifts and from cheap places, because of the volume of presents that go into each one it really adds up. I want a change this year and want to keep the gifts affordable but nothing is coming to mind.

Patriotic?

Toronto Sucks

By The Arrogant Worms

---

I hate the Sky dome and the CN Tower too

I hate Nathan Phillips Square and the Ontario Zoo

The rents too high, the airs unclean

The beaches are dirty and the people are mean

And the women are big and the men are dumb

And the children are loopy 'cause they live in a slum

The water is polluted and the mayor's a dork

They dress real bad and they think they're New York

In Toronto, Ontario

---

"You know, actually I think I hate all of Ontario"

I hate Thunder Bay and Ottawa

Kitchener, Windsor, and Oshawa

London sucks and the Great Lakes suck

And Sarnia sucks and Turkey Point Sucks

I took a trip to Ontario to visit Brian Mulrooney

He beat me up and he stole my pants and he put me in a tree

I went to see the Maple Leafs and got hit in the head with a puck

"I don't even know how they did it, I was playing the organ at the time!"

Ontario Sucks

---

"Actually, now that I really think about it,

I think I pretty much hate every gosh darn province and territory in our country!

Except Alberta, yeah I love Alberta, lots of cows, trees, rocks, dirt"

I hate Newfoundland 'cause they talk so weird

And Prince Edward Island is too small

Nova Scotia's dumb 'cause its the name of a bank

New Brunswick doesn't have a good mall

Quebec is revolting and it makes me mad

Ontario sucks, Ontario sucks,

"Manitoba's population density is 1.9 people per square kilometer.

Now isn't that stupid!?"

Saskatchewan is boring and the people are old

And as for the territories, they're too cold!

And the only really good thing about the province of British Columbia

is that its right next to us!"'

Cause Alberta doesn't suck

But Calgary does

-----------

Trade Show Swag

I went to a luncheon trade show today for work. It was really quick but super overwhelming. Hotel after hotel saying the same thing about meeting room space. I got free food, and was able to eat healthy. Lucky for me fresh cut fruit is a treat, so I loaded up on watermelon, cantaloupe, strawberries and pineapple. Every booth was giving away free stuff too. Basically pens, and anything random that they could slap their name on. I brought back everything I could get and than anything I didn't want I gave to people around the office.

Paintball

I just came back from paintball with a group of people from work. It was crazy. Nothing like what I thought. I can see it being a totally addictive hobby, but completely impractical for me as it is expensive and you would need a car to go out to the places. We played a bunch of different games in different areas, for the most part it is two teams and capture the flag style. They have areas with creeks, bridges, bunkers, and even an area with a huge fort which you either have to attack or defend. For the most part the 7 of us from work were on the same team playing against groups of other people. We played a few quick small games against our selves that were hilarious, probably my favorite. Although as a team we won a few times, I never made it to the end 'alive.' Most times though I had 'hit' a few other people before I got out, which makes me feel like I did my part. Mind you, only a few people that I got I'm positive it was me that shot them. If a guy I was aiming at raised his hand said "I'm Hit!" and walked off the playing area, I assumed I probably got him. But, multiple people are aiming and shooting in the same area, so it may not have been me every time. Getting hit by the paintballs can really hurt though. About 25% of the shots you get are painful, the rest you barely feel. It really depends where you take the shot, the very first one I got was on my hand and it killed, it is all swollen and is still sore now. Somehow I didn't let that first one deter me from having a good time, and I wasn't scared or hesitant while playing. This is possibly due to the fact that when I took the shot to the hand that very first game, I also took about 3 more in the stomach and didn't really feel them. Throughout the day I got 2 more hand shots, so a couple of fingers and a knuckle are pretty red and swollen. I got nailed at the side of the head too (just behind my safety goggles), that hurt at the time but didn't leave a mark. I should probably check the rest of my body for welts and bruises from all the other shots.

I Want To Go Now

Steph and I just bought our plane tickets for our trip to London, England in the new year. Our original plan was to go from January 11-22. We waited too long to buy the tickets and the prices jumped. We have decided to instead go January 15-25. This works much better for us as the tickets were $75 cheaper then even our original plan, also the hostel we are staying in gets more expensive during the weekends and these 10 days only span one weekend instead of two, saving another $32. The plan is to start my next contract with the government on January 29th, the Monday after I return. What I have to figure out now is what I'm doing with the first 15 days of January, right now I'm unemployed during that time. My Temp Agency may have something for me, I may go home for a while, or possibly My Cool Boss at Subway will let me work for a week or so. We will see. The hardest thing of all is that I'm so excited I want to be going now, LONDON BABY!!

Riding The Greyhound

The buses I had to take to and from home this Thanksgiving weekend were horrible. They really made me question whether it was worth it to come home for such a short period of time. I knew I wouldn't see my parents, brother, or Teri for a while so I made the trek. Riding the bus, especially during busy weekends is terrible. You want to be sick because the person in front of you smells so bad, you can't read because the light above you is broken, you aren't comfortable because the person beside you is taking up too much room, and you can't sleep because the person behind you won't stop talking. Talking about his 'baby's mama' I might add. Oh Brantford you can be so white trash at times. I used to love the bus because it was so cheap and easy to use. They run all the time and whisk you away to family, friends, or fun cities. Now I think I have tired of the trips and want to find a better way to travel.

Moot Point

From 'Friends'
Joey: ....Otherwise, it's just a moo point.
Rachel: A moo point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's moo.

'Moot point' is a phrase that once had a firm and well-understood meaning, but no longer does. It used to mean - a matter that was uncertain or undecided, so open to debate. In medieval England it referred specifically to an assembly of people that had some sort of judicial function, and was often spelled 'mot' or 'mote'. Something that was 'mooted' was put up for discussion and decision at a meeting — by definition something not yet decided. The confusion over the meaning of 'moot point' is modern. It is a misunderstanding of another definition of 'moot' - a law school discussion forum in which hypothetical cases are argued by law students for practice. Since there is no practical outcome of these sessions, and the cases are invented , people seem to have assumed that 'a moot point' means one of no importance. So there has been a shift where the original meaning of “open to debate” has become “not worth debating”. The 'mute' spelling is a development that has come about because 'moot' is such an old and unused word, usually encountered only in this phrase; there is an understandable tendency to spell it 'mute', which also seems to fit the new meaning better.

Trippin' On Coke

I could not sleep at all last night, I tossed and turned and was all twitchy. I realised it was because I had two glasses of pop with dinner. I used to have pop all the time but now it has been weeks since I drank any and my body must not be used to caffeine anymore. I could not believe the effect it had on me, stupid Diet Coke!

Tocktober

October maybe Breast Cancer month. (And my boss maybe letting me order the pink Sharpies that give money towards research.) But according to Cute Overload (See link on Right) it is also the month to celebrate cute animal behinds, or 'tocks'. Tocktober. I love it! Though I prefer to say 'bum' since it just seems to be a funnier word, I giggle every time I say it. Hehe 'bum'. I have to say I can see the draw to animal bums. My favorite part of Toby is his little bunny bum with the little rabbit tail, oh so cute. I also love it when I'm biking home along the canal and the ducks dip completely upside down in the water to get the weeds, Duck Bum's. For some reason in my head when I see them doing that I think that they are 'dabbling', I don't know why I think it is called that, I'm sure it isn't. Maybe I read it somewhere, perhaps in this childhood book I had called 'Ducks Don't Get Wet' which was really sciency for a kids book. So maybe not in there, since I'm almost certain that 'Ducks a'dabbling' is not a scientifically accurate phrase about duck behaviour.

Slightly More Than A Monkey

An ongoing joke I have is that I photocopy for a living. Co-workers often say "Oh, but your job is so much more than that," but they would be surprised how much of my job really is just photocopying. Probably 60% of the tasks I do involve the machine at one step or another. Mind you, rarely do I just get a stack of documents that I have just have to photocopy, my work is a tad more complex then that. Often I have to fill out a form, then photocopy it, or photocopy something and then take it somewhere, or photocopy things and then organize them into binders with indexes and dividers. Sometimes I have to write things or update things, and after that, I photocopy them. I use the machine all the time. The other 40% of my work isn't any more difficult or complicated, it tends to be walking things places or filling out and distributing things online or through e-mail. The tasks maybe simple but I hold to that I work ridiculously hard, I never stop moving or thinking. It is balancing, juggling, and handling all the different tasks and people that is the true challenge at my job. I use my multitasking, prioritising, and problem solving skills everyday. I won't even begin to talk about the level of social skills required to succeed in a public sector administration position. I deal with a huge variety of people, 'cause the government takes all kinds.

A Saturday In The Market

---Cost For A Night Out In The Market---
Predrinking Booze $5-$10
Predrinking Mix $2-$5
Bus Downtown $2
Cover $2-$10
1 Fancy Drink $6-$10
2 Bar Rail Drinks $10-$12
2 Shots $6-$12
Late Night Shwarma $5
Cab Home $10
-----Total $48-$76-----

Who can afford to go out and drink any more?

I went out this Saturday with no money and couldn't have any of these things, making me very sober and it hard to get home (direct buses stop running early.) This estimated total doesn't even including treating others, dinner beforehand or the pizza that you inevitably have later on when you get home. Mind you that is alot of booze so your looking at a night that goes from 7pm-4am. It has been a while since I really went out and partied, looking at the numbers, I now see why!