Must Haves & Can't Stands

I have had some requests to talk more about eHarmony and my dating life. This isn't super exciting but I thought I would share with you one of my favourite parts of the site: The Must Haves & Can't Stands. It isn't even that this stage of the "guided communication" is particularly helpful, though at times it is, it is more that I love how they summarize an often very abstract idea with a short little, well written, sentence. You get to pick 10 of each from a list of probably 50. Here are mine.

Must Haves:

- Intellect. I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
- Sense of Humor. I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
- Chemistry. I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
- Strong Character. I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.
- Curiosity. I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge and who strives to learn as much as possible.
- Adaptability. I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life's surprises.
- Conflict Resolver. I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
- Autonomy. I must have a partner who will give me space to be my own person.
- Exciting. I must have someone who isn't afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
- Passionate. I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.

Can't Stands:

- Victim Mentality. While everyone has times of self-pity, I can't stand someone who continually sees himself/herself as a victim.
- Mean Spirited. I can't stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.
- Rude. I can't stand someone who is belittling, impatient or hateful to people in any situation.
- Cheating. I can't stand someone who takes advantage of people.
- Childishness. I can't stand someone who is not emotionally mature.
- Dependence. I can't stand someone who bases their happiness on me.
- Lying. I can't stand someone who lies to anyone-especially to me.
- Judgmental. I can't stand someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.
- Hypochondriac. I can't stand someone who has a general disposition of sickness and is constantly treating the symptoms of their supposed illness.
- Infidelity. I can't stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.

As you can see from the lists I tend to pick things that are objective and fairly abstract. The list to choose from contains a wide range of options, everything from wanting someone to accept stepchildren as their own to hating the use of illegal drugs. Obviously if either of those shows up I wouldn't be a very good match.