MouseMouse

My parents called last night - Binx is not well. It sounds like she probably had a stroke. She has lost the use of her back legs. (Very suddenly, at noon she is running around yelling to be fed, and two hours later she has to move by dragging herself places.) I called for updates a couple of times last night and a few more times today. No improvements. I had my mom take her to the litterbox before heading to bed, after being placed in it she pulled herself forward and then did a somersault out. This was probably pretty amusing to see, as Binx has never been a graceful cat. I am pretty shaken up by the news and had a horrible nights sleep, interspersed with bouts of crying. I'm heading home on the train this evening and will be taking her into the vet tomorrow to have her put down.

My parents say she seems very unhappy at the moment and her quality of life has taken a nose dive. She was a fairly happy blind cat, but she now can't really move anywhere and has possibly lost control of her bladder (or just can't get to the litterbox because she can't really move.) I don't want her to be unhappy. I am going to spend tonight and tomorrow morning with her before taking her in. It isn't a tough decision, it is the only option. While they may theoretically make kitty-wheelchairs, Binx is too old and too dumb to ever use one. It is her time. (She is 18! Which is 88 in human years.) What makes it more difficult is that she isn't in pain particularly, and if it is a stroke she won't really deteriorate much past this until something else happens. However, I feel like this is the right thing to do. I hope that upon seeing her, this feeling will be confirmed.

I am just so sad. I don't want to live without her. (There is no way to write that without it sounding melodramatic and suicidal, which isn't what I mean. I mean, I love living with Binx! I only didn't live with her for one year when I was in residence and for the last couple of months while I was travelling and painting the apartment here.) I hate the idea that she isn't going to be coming to live with me here in Toronto.

I love her.