Passed The Threshold

My weight yoyos, more than most people I know. I have had swings of 30 to 40lbs. I don't do crazy crash diets so the changes are always gradual, but it seems that I always slowly return to my largest. However, since I started thinking about my weight in more literal terms, which happened sometime in university, I have never been over 200lbs.  I don't actually care about the number, for women the number is so strange: height, muscle mass, body type, shape, etc. all play such a huge part no one weighs what you think they will and two people can weigh the same amount and look totally different. For me though, I start looking unnaturally large around 180 lbs and the number can get quite high, I remember seeing 198 once and being glad it wasn't over that magic 200. Well, I have been suspecting that the threshold had been passed and sure enough when I dragged my scale out from its place behind the toilet this morning, it confirmed that I am 203 lbs at the moment. My fitness level isn't that high right now but I am not insanely out of shape by any means. For the most part I still feel pretty and sexy but I really need to stop denying my body's need to eat a certain way. I haven't even been eating that badly, just badly for me. Complex carbohydrates (starches like potatoes, rice, and grains) hate me and I need to stop. But I will miss them, oh how I will miss them.