17 Day Covid Plan

Trying to stay motivated and productive during this strange time of quarantine and self-isolation. I have made a check-list for the next 17 days (just because that was the number of lines in my notebook set up). Here is what I am hoping to accomplish:

Everyday - Do a small task related to
-- Becoming a PMP
-- Getting a job
-- Closing down the cafe
-- Keeping the house clean
-- Hosting weekly virtual trivia

Everyday - I am trying to
-- Go for a walk with Jason
-- Do a blog post, might be backdated
-- Brush the cat

Every morning, before noon, I want to
-- Be downstairs before 9am
-- Drink a glass of warm lemon water
-- Have breakfast
-- Wash my face and brush my teeth
-- Feed the cat, using new/clean bowls
-- Take my vitamins
-- Call someone for a quick chat
-- Do some fitness thing that raises my heart rate for 20mins

Every night, I want to
-- Stop looking at screens (phone, tablet, computer) after 11pm
-- Do a quick clean of the kitchen
-- Clean out the cat's litter box
-- Wash my face, floss and brush my teeth
-- Fill the humidifier
-- Relax (yoga, meditation, sex)
-- Be in bed before 11:30pm

Trying to go easy on myself and not be too upset if I don't achieve everything everyday. Some things are easier to do than others. The list is a bit like the one I tried back in November when I was starting to get depressed after shutting down the cafe and starting to look for a new job. Today is the first day and the checklist is mapped out until May 3rd, at which point I will see what is working, make some adjustments, and create a new one.

Lush Bath Melt Review

ERin and I recently did a trade. I had a facemask kit that I bought a few years ago and never found the right person to give it to and never used it myself - she needed something for a secret Santa thing. Then she remembered that I like to take baths, and she had received some bath stuff over the years that she didn't think she would use - which I was excited to have. She gave me a couple of bath bombs and a "bath melt" from Lush yesterday.

This morning I dropped the bath melt into the tub as it was filling up and the result can be summed up as basically disastrous. Mid-bath, I had to look up on the Lush website what even was a bath melt and was I using it correctly, and I was, but they are called bath oils even though they are in solid shapes. Then I looked up tips from the official Lush YouTube channel on this product and it still said that I should be using the full thing. But I gave up, and pulled the last third of it out of the water and put it beside the tub to use next time. (Yes I will use it again, maybe the smaller amount will improve things.)

According to Lush:
When it comes to bathtime luxury, there's no holding back. Our bath oils deliver an enchanting experience for those times when you truly want to transform your body and mind. Decadent butters and loads of essential oils melt into the water, then into your skin for a supremely softening and scented utopia. These little confections nourish your skin with moisturizing butters and softening oils to counteract the drying effects of a hot bath.
1. Run your bathwater making sure it’s just how you like it
2. Drop your bath oil into the bath and its oils and butters will melt to soften your water and skin.
3. Be careful when you’re getting out of a bath with one of these, because they can make your tub a bit slippery.

So, I am glad that they call them oils, and not melts, but they are really really greasy. I had to use shampoo to clean off my hands before looking up the stuff on my phone. The main issue was the sparkles, I have always thought of glitter as the herpes of craft supplies and the same applies to the body/beauty kind. It was a bit exfoliating and gritty but it also doesn't wash off! I am covered in gold sparkles, and I mean COVERED! I don't even know how you would achieve this look for a costume (say if you were wanting to be a shimmery sea monster or 1990's porn star for Halloween) apart from a professional makeup artist. I have a very even coat of teeny tiny gold sparkles, everywhere. When I videocalled ERin, to explain that this gift given to her might have been some type of sabotage, she thought I was still wet from the shower. Nope, just covered in sparkles, I was bone dry.

Also, the warning at the end of the Lush instructions it true, it is so oily that getting out of the bathtub is downright dangerous, I was worried I might die. The rest of my day will be spent trying to clean the gunk out of the tub before Jason needs to shower tomorrow morning, I am guessing this will take multiple attempts. Don't even want to think about what the glittery, greasy, goo is going to do to the pipes.

At the moment though, my skin is very soft. It is hydrating, and I feel great, except for itchy nipples from the sparkles. I will finish up the last bit of it, I do love how smooth my hands and feet feel.

Xmas List 2018

Two
- Treats (Temptations Dental)
- Little mouse toy
- Litter deodorizer (Arm+Hammer)

Joint
- Gift cards
--- Home Depot, Canadian Tire, Cineplex
- Travelling coffee mugs, not plastic
- King Sheets (100% Cotton)
- Help installing kitchen faucet
- Animal safe sidewalk salt
- Shower curtain liner
- Kitchen scissors
- Super large bath towels
- Foaming hand soap
- Steak knives
- Strong fridge magnets

Jason
- Gift cards
--- XBox, Amazon (for Kindle Books), MEC
- Coffee beans
- Sour candy
- Coke in glass bottles
- Craft Beer, not hoppy
- T-shirts, size Med
- Socks, shoe size 10.5
--- black dress, white athletic
- Sunglasses
- Spray sunscreen
- Dove for men shampoo
- Bar soap
- Clear glass coffee mugs
- Franks Red Hot Sauce

Me
- Gift Cards
--- Ricki's, Dollerama, IKEA
- Books (used is fine)
--- Fiction, William Gibson, Jasper Fforde, Gail Vaz-Oxlade (Never Too Late)
- Boardgames
--- Ticket to Ride: Expansion Maps
--- Trivial Pursuit: Bet You Know It
- Epsom salts
- Soap and Glory: Flake Away
- Canned corn
- Martin's Apple Chips
- Compact over-ear headphones (with cord)
- Android smart watch
- Kitchen scissors
- Potting soil
- Basil plants/seeds
- Chap stick
- Black no snag hair elastics
- Bath bombs
- Stud earrings backs that clip
- Travel toothbrush

Mildly Adventurous

Soooo, you want a low number - I guess that means you are more adventurous. I need to remember some of these for when I play this as part of a drinking game.

I am at SIX. Because I have never...
- Broken a bone (knock on wood)
- Been skydiving
- Had braces
- Given birth
- Gone scuba diving
- Been on a cruise
(Does having braces make you more adventurous?)

Let me know your number in the comments!! 

Motherhood - Epidural

Excerpts from New York Times article 'Get the Epidural' by Jessi Klein

No one ever asks a man if he’s having a “natural root canal.” No one ever asks if a man is having a “natural vasectomy.”

“What are you trying to win?” What was I trying to win? I thought about it and realized — nothing. There’s nothing to win.

“There is science showing all the risks of an epidural!” Well, again, I am not a doctor, but I do have the internet.

There are so many debates in this life in which there is some evidence of one thing and also some evidence of the other. At such a point, you just have to decide to believe in and do what is best for you. So here’s a radical idea: Why not do the thing that makes you happy?

There is so much pressure on women around birth and labor and mothering to do it this way or that way. It’s so easy to believe the notion that having a baby demands complete and total self-abnegation, and anything short of that is not enough.

If you’re worried that skipping the pain of childbirth means you’re somehow cheating your baby, or yourself, you’re not. Because the truth is, life offers more than enough pain that you will not be able to skip. 

Yup, give me the epidural! There has never been any question in my mind, if I am ever giving birth I will be getting the epidural and any other pain killers/drugs they can throw my way. I like modern medicine - I like making pain go away.

I have heard the positives from the other side, friends and acquaintances that wanted/tried/had a drug-less birth or some variation. For the most part their reasons made sense. Rarely are these people conspiracy-theory hippies, or self-flagellating mommy-martyrs, though sometimes. For the vast majority they made (or tired/planned to make) a personal choice based on what was important to them.

What is great from all my conversations on the topic is that this seems to be very much a personal choice and an understanding that there are reasons to make the decision either way. Some pregnancy or parenting subjects have strong reactions, judgement, and opinions about right/wrong, unlike what the article suggests, I don't get the feeling that the choice to get an epidural is one of those.

Those who have been through it: Please share in the comments if leading up to birth, during, or afterwards friends, family or event strangers were sharing strong hurtful opinions about your choice to have or decline an epidural?

I am inclined to say, and have said, to someone planning on forgoing an epidural, "Are you crazy? What about the pain? I would totally get all the drugs!" Which I hope isn't viewed as hurtful, it is the same response I would give someone who is suffering through a headache and not taking an Advil. It is an expression of awe at someone else' pain tolerance and not a judgement about the choice they are making for their body.

In my experience, the most common reason against getting an epidural has been the ability to walk afterwards instead of waiting until the drugs wear off, and with that a faster departure from the hospital. Personally I love hospitals so that reason doesn't apply to me. Also I just absolutely hate pain, I used to take Tylenao 3s (from my high-school wisdom teeth removal) to get my legs waxed. Hit me up with the drugs! But you do you.

The Reckoning - Fitness

I went to Ottawa a couple of weeks ago and in the middle of my visit had a pretty sizable emotional breakdown. It wasn't depression based, instead it was about my body. I try to be open about my struggles with mental illness, but I am less open about my relationship with my body - its appearance, fitness level, weight, etc. Part of my reason for this is that I just don't think about it very much and the other part is that I have a different relationship than is usually depicted, or that I see from friends and family.

I am fine with how my body is/looks as long as...
- I am still fun, aka I am not holding others back from having a good time

I am often the slowest person on a hike or the last to finish a run. But I can still participate, I join in and enjoy various activities with my friends and family. This is very important to me and every time that Jason and I don't make it to the top of a mountain because we run out of time - my heart breaks and I hate myself and my body. This might seem like a very specific item but it has happened a number of times and it always makes me feel pretty awful about myself.

In Ottawa I felt the same way but at a magnitude never experienced before. Jason and I went to go skating on the canal and after doing up my skates I was unable to actually skate. I am not a good skater but I have never had issues doing it before. Even holding my body in position to skate was painful and the actual motion was exhausting - I was panting and sweating.

It was humiliating. I was devastated. After returning to the bench and taking off my skates, we went right to the car - I couldn't stop crying. To have my fitness level that low made me so angry at myself. I have never experienced these types of feelings about myself and body in this way. Instead of staying for the rest of the weekend in Ottawa, I decided to go home early. It was truly a shattering experience.

I couldn't imagine continuing to stay in Ottawa that weekend while feeling that awful - and I didn't feel comfortable disclosing to all the people I planned to visit that I was so upset because I felt like a useless disgusting fat worthless pile of crap. It isn't nice to hang out with people when upset, but I have done it during depressive episodes before. This was different and I am less comfortable with the realities of the situation. My friends were understanding and, while I still don't like talking about this, I decided to start writing about it to explain a bit to those who were there. This also allows me to share a bit of what is going on with me right now with others.

A Vicious Attack

Not the best start to my day - our shower caddy crashed down on me while I was have a bath this morning.

The pole, shelves, and bath products ended up on top of me, I wasn't touching it at the time (totally unprovoked assault!) Jason was still home at the time so I called for him and he helped untangle me. A spot near the top of my head has a bit of a goose-egg, half of my forehead is tender, and my nose hurts - no bruises are showing though.

Finally Finished

At the end of last summer I got this strange breakout on my chin and around my mouth. I tried to just deal with it myself for a little while (which actually ended up making it worse) before asking my doctor about it. Turns out it was Perioral Dermatitis and I needed to use a topical antibiotic to get rid of it - for nine weeks! Today I am done, nine weeks was a long time.

The funny thing with this rash was that is was self caused, by accident. I have a steroid cream that I use sometimes when the dry skin around 'my hoof' ankle bone gets bad. My doctor suspects that at some point after applying it, I touched my mouth area which brought about the rash. Then I made it worse because I thought this red bumpy and scaly rash was some type of dry skin so I actually put the steroid cream on it. This would work and it would be gone by the next day but would return a few days later. After that happened for a while I read the container of the steroid cream which said to use it twice a day for seven days - remember this was prescribed for my occasional eczema behind my ears and around my ankles. I decided to diligently follow the steroid instructions which worked; only for it to come back, with a vengeance, after I finished.

When I spoke to my doctor about it at the end of November she said that steroid cream really shouldn't be used on the face and that I needed to use antibiotics to get rid of it now. She could have given me a pill but because I was going to Africa and was needing some pills for that she thought it best if I used a gel antibiotic directly on it. She then said I was going to need to put it on twice a day for nine weeks, and that I wouldn't see improvements until about six weeks of treatment. This was disheartening because the treatment that was technically worsening it would totally clear it in a day.

There was a bit of concern with Africa because the antibiotics would make the area more sensitive to the sun, so I had to be careful to apply the gel early, wait a bit, and then apply lots of sunscreen to my chin so it wouldn't burn. This treatment wasn't a hassle at all, but it probably was the longest I have ever taken medicine for anything, besides the stuff that I take all the time. Glad it is over, but now I am in the habit of applying something to my face twice a day I think I will replace it with moisturizer, or anti-aging serum or something that is good for my skin.

Cut Short

My nails are at a perfect length to have done ... but it is a busy week at work with an event coming this Saturday. Not only would they not stay nice because of the physical things that need to be done leading up to the event, but also the week before any event is super hectic and I have no time. So I cut all my nails off and am sad that I didn't get a chance to make them pretty. They rarely all grow long at the same time, usually one breaks. This is also totally a first world problem.

What is great is that I work really close to my favourite cheap please to get my nails done, if it lines up nicely next time and I can go.

Dad's Cactus

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A Sunday post about my Dad, named after a song that he loved.

My dad really loved cacti. He was always looking for the most photogenic one on trips. He also grew some at home. Mom is less fond of them so just over a year ago she let me take home the biggest one in his collection. She also moved most of the rest of them outside, under the guise of protecting the cat, but really I think that if they died a 'natural' death from the Canadian cold she would feel better about getting rid of them.

I am doing really well with Dad's cactus, it is was big already but has pushed over two feet tall since I brought it to Toronto. I have re-potted it, which is super challenging and involves multiple people, tongs, thick gloves, and lots of towels. It is also a pain to move since you can't hold it against your chest and the new pot is quite heavy. On the most recent move I got cut by one of the spikes and it bled forever.

Besides knowing that the spikes can be dangerous, there isn't much I really understood about the plant. I asked one of Jason's friends who is exceptionally knowledgeable about succulents (which cacti are.) I sent him some photos and he has said that it is for sure a Cereus cactus, which I want to pronounce as Serious Cactus, but that isn't the correct pronunciation unfortunately.

He also guesses that more specifically it is a cereus monstrose, which is an Apple Cactus. This is mainly in Peru and gets really great flowers, though mine never has. It can grow super tall so I am hoping to keep tending it well (even though it is a challenge to have in the house because of the spikes) so that it can get really big.

A Day Of Prep

Tomorrow is Rob and Andrea's wedding!! And, tonight I was asked to join in the Rehearsal events, both at the church and dinner afterwards. (Jason is Rob's Best Man.) Here is how I got ready, in my usual ADHD fashion is was scattered and done in stages. Note that between all these steps I would be off doing something else:

7:00am  - (At home) Had a bath
7:30am  - Put product into hair, then tied it up in a loose bun
7:35am  - Packed make-up and redid the stuff I keep in my purse
7:55am  - Put on red dress and black flats
8:50am  - (On Dufferin Bus) Take down hair from bun
9:05am  - (Bathroom breaks at work) Put clips in hair
11:30am - Put on pantyhose
12:55pm - Laura helps fix the clips in my hair
2:35pm  - Apply foundation and blush
3:50pm  - Put on eyeliner and mascara,
3:55pm  - Fix clips in my hair, again
4:05pm  - (On King Streetcar) Apply lipstick
4:45pm  - (In taxi) Switch flats for heels

Bath Time

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.

I mentioned Dad's mustache last week, and have posted a picture before, but I thought it was time to show you all again:

Dad Giving Me A Bath

June 18th, 1984

Photo of a photo

I love that the old photos used to include the date. Ok, actually it totally ruins them for framing and such but it is good reference. I would have no idea when this was taken, sometime in my first few months because of my size, so tiny, but now I know the exact day. I am less than a month old in this photo, literally born only 26 days before.

My Dad does not look nearly tired enough to have been dealing with a for newborn for three and a half weeks. Though I was an excellent sleeper, maybe even from this point.

I don't really recognize that wall paper but it reminds me of Grandma's house, though it could be from the house in Cambridge that I don't remember, since we moved to Paris when I was about a year and a half. However, I totally remember that tablecloth, I think my mom still has it.

Buying Appliances

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.

Jason and I visited a Sears Whole Home store yesterday in Ottawa. It was a bit difficult for me, as this was the type of store that Dad had worked in for the last 10-15 years of his career before retirement. I remember him making the move from Brantford Sears to sell appliances in Ancaster at this new type of store, I was in Grade 7 or 8 at the time.

We are looking for a stack-able washer and dryer for the new house and it is hard to find decent information about what would be the best one to get (we are considering cost, size, height, durability, and value.) I have been researching online, but am really missing the knowledge I could have gotten from Dad on this - the man knew his appliances.

I wasn't super impressed with the guy that spoke to us at the Ottawa store. Definitely didn't have the charm that I know my dad would have had on the sales floor, since he was pretty enjoyable to be around in general. The vibe at the store was familiar though - employees joking around with each other, the two sales guys hanging out side-by-side, one gave the other a 'nod' as to who would 'get' us.

Dad used to say that he always told potential customers to come back and ask for "George with a beard." I guess at some point there was a second George? It is a bit funny to me because for a while, when I was really young, he used to have a mustache. I always wondered if he had to change his line when he changed his facial hair. However, I think the 'mustache phase' was when he worked as a Department Manager (in many different sections, everything from shoes to seasonal) so he possibly always had a beard by the time he moved into sales.

I Am Moving These Boxes, Sir

Yesterday I found out that my boss doesn't consider me a lady, and I am actually rather glad about it. The term can be problematic and is starting to dance on the sexist side. Even according to its definition, it is sometimes offensive depending on its context:

LADY
noun, plural ladies. 
1. a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken
2. a woman of high social position or economic class
3. any woman; female
4. (used in direct address: usually offensive in the singular)
5. wife
6. (initial capital letter) (in Great Britain) the proper title of any woman whose husband is higher in rank than baronet or knight, or who is the daughter of a nobleman not lower than an earl (although the title is given by courtesy also to the wives of baronets and knights)
adjective 
7. (sometimes offensive) being a female
8. of a lady; ladylike; feminine

Last night I was in a rush to leave work because I had a waxing appointment at 5:30. A delivery showed up for marketing right at 5. The building locks its loading dock at that time so the 25 or so boxes being delivered would need to be moved into our suite, off the truck, by hand.

The driver and our small marketing team used a couple of hand trolleys to wheel in the delivery. The driver kept insisting that he do the brunt of the work, even though there were three of us there to help. (Note: The boxes were maybe 5lbs a piece.) I ignored his protests and helped anyway.

Driver: No, no, no, I will do it. It is too heavy for a lady.
Marketing Director: Oh, she isn't a lady, she's ... Chris.

We got the boxes moved in and they were not too heavy! I also made my appointment in time.

The Pacific Ocean

For most of the Californian Coast, the ocean itself has not been particularly accessible. The shoreline in the north has water that is too rough to swim in and cliffs that prevent you reaching the water anyway. Even the recent drive through Big Sur featured large cliffs with very infrequent access points to beaches or coves. When we visited Mendocino and walked in the cove, we could have dipped our feet in the water but chose to keep our shoes on since it was windy and a bit cold. However, this morning the weather is warmer and the Pacific is now on our level:

Our Morning View

All the rooms in our hotel look out to a beach and the local towns feature boardwalks to protect the small dunes. The waves can be heard at all times, but they are small and soft. The only problem with the swimming places is that seaweed seems to have a major presence on the sand and in the water. Big long pieces of kelp looking like plastic or rubber but somehow gross and natural. It didn't stop us though, Teri and I wanted to finally actually touch the ocean for the first time this trip:

Feet in the Pacific

It was worth the sand in our toes and wet pant cuffs. Teri is on the Right with blue toenail polish and I am at the top of the photo with purple. The waves did come up and touch me. I sprinted up and away from others that were too big.

Both photos above taken by ME with my phone

San Simeon, California, USA

Where I Get It From - Feet

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.

Size: Mom - Small, 7 - 7.5. My mom's are even smaller.
Shape: Mom - High arches.
Toes: Dad - Aunty Nicky says they are 'prehensile toes'
Calluses: Dad - Very prone to calluses
Corns: Mom - Also prone to corns
Bunions: Dad - Luckily avoided them so far
Shoes: Neither - I have adopted my own shoe style, flats
Ticklish: Mom - We are not ticklish
Ankles: Dad - Weak and easily twisted/sprained

I love feet, I mainly love women's feet, I really love my feet!

Grey Hair!

Tessa straightened my hair this evening, and we found 3 full length grey/white hairs. This is a first. I pulled them out.

Where I Get It From - Face Edition

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.

It was hard to figure out which parts of my face I inherited from each parent and I think I might be off on some of them. I used this picture of Mom and this one of Dad, along with a combination of my memory and what people have told me in the past about looking like them.

Skin Colour: My Mom
(Dad's skin was pink/peach, but my mom and I have the green/yellow undertone that is very Mediterranean. It is 'olive skin tone' if you are looking for something nicer and I don't know how we got it seeing that we are quite British.)
Skin Texture: My Dad
(I don't have to care for it much and I tend to be able to avoid major breakouts. Also just my nose gets freckles, which was like him.)
Eyebrows: Maybe My Dad
(Neither of my parent's eyebrows are as thick, as big, as course, or as dark as mine.)
Eyelashes: My Dad
(My brother and I both got his long lashes.)
Eye Shape: I Think My Dad
(I think this is more difficult to tell, it might not really be from either. In fact I always thought the shape was closer to my Aunty Nicky's.)
Eye Colour: My Dad
(Mum has blue eyes, which are awesome. I have boring brown ones like Dad.)
Nose: My Dad
(The 'Joynes Nose' on my mom's side has a reputation for being quite large. So part of me is glad to have missed that. However, both Mike and I have Dad's nose, which has a very thin bridge at the top.)
Lips: Both Parents
(My mom's smile is nice and wide like mine, but my lips are more full, which is similar to my dad.)
Face Shape: My Mom
(Both my mom and I have oval faces. We also have a well defined chin, though you can only notice it on me when I am thinner.)

Cute Kid Quote

Had fun with Jason's nephews this weekend!

L explaining why P's sunscreen is a different type than his, "Yeah, he's clergic."

Where I Get It From - Hair Edition

Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.

I am sure that the actual genetics/DNA of this are all off, but the following is what I consider to be my hair's inheritance from my parents:

Colour: My Dad
(Mum's hair is also brown but more of a chocolate colour. Mine has streaks of copper highlights in it, more so in the summer, that come from my dad. His brown hair was paler and when he was younger his beard had a lot of red in it.)
Texture: Both Parents
(My dad's hair was also curly, so there isn't really straight hair on either side. However the amount of curl comes more from my mom.)
Volume: My Mom
(My mom for sure. We have tons of hair.)
Thickness: My Dad
(You would think that my hair is thick, but that isn't actually true. I just have a lot of it. A lot of thin hair. Each strand is very thin.)
Aging: My Dad
(My mom always said she started to go grey in her 20s. I had escaped that and thus far have only spotted the very very occasional grey/white hair. My dad started to go grey very late, in fact when he died at the age of 59 he still had a fair amount of colour in his hair.)
Attitude: My Mom
(Both my mom and I are pretty lazy when it comes to hair. Neither of us like to put effort or product in. My dad would briefly style his in the mornings before work, while not a lot of attention it was still more than Mum and I did. The hairdryer in our house growing up was my dads - in fact I have it now, it is a nice reminder.)