Sat beside a man with no teeth on the bus home today, who was fairly blatantly drinking from a can of Laker Ice. He had a rat on his knee. I had instinctively smiled and said, "Oh, so sweet" before I noticed that most people around him were some variation of annoyed/disgusted. It was really obviously a trained, loved, tame rat - truly very sweet - brown and white.
We chatted a bit about the rat, 5-months old and named Ruby. Then American cities (and their rat populations) and then somehow about hockey. Then had a really enjoyable conversation about The Leafs for the rest of the 20-minute ride home.
Despite the final score, he didn't think that they had played that badly during the game I saw in Boston and we both expressed frustration that the first penalty had been from too many players on the ice. We had different opinions on the new Las Vegas team, but acknowledged how well they are doing. It was one of the best hockey conversations I have had in a long time. He got off the bus a few stops before mine, with the rat tucked up behind his neck (she was snuggled there most of the ride actually).
I hope The Leafs make it to the second round of playoffs so I can keep talking hockey with strangers!
Showing posts with label Talking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Talking. Show all posts
Tuesday, 24 April 2018
Sunday, 22 January 2017
Quote Of The Day
"I love therapy!
Paying someone to listen
to me talk about my problems
- it is like a hooker for your feelings."
Friday, 25 November 2016
Talk Consent
November 25 - The International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, as declared by the United Nations.
There is a lot of room for improvement in the current dialogue about sexual assault, especially how we discuss this with children. I have seen articles arguing against the onus put on potential victims of assault to "stay safe." I don't think there is a problem teaching people about avoiding certain situations, and not putting oneself into harms way. I totally agree that a victim should never be blamed for assault but I also think that an awareness of safety needs to be taught and encouraged. It isn't your fault at all that you got mugged in a dark alley in a known dangerous neighbourhood of a foreign city. But as a parent or friend it is perfectly fine to encourage travelers to do some research on the place they are visiting and talk about how to be cautious.
I do agree about the other thing often mentioned in these articles: Don't teach the victims how to avoid it - teach the perpetrators not to do it. This is the weak link in our sexual discussions and education, We too often breeze quickly by the concept of consent. We need to talk about what consent is, its value, how to ensure it has and continues to be given in sexual situations, and even how to give it. No parent sets out to raise a rapist, and the blame shouldn't be on the parents in these situations. However, everyone needs to step up the discussion about respect. We need to identify disrespectful, dangerous, or even illegal actions. We need to talk clearly about how to behave appropriately.
I love the 20 Minutes of Action 4 Change that calls on fathers to talk to their sons today about consent. From the age of 1 all the way up until a child leaves home, having a 20 minute conversation once a year could do wonders. This are the discussions that people avoid having and we shouldn't.
And, I still love the tea video about consent.
There is a lot of room for improvement in the current dialogue about sexual assault, especially how we discuss this with children. I have seen articles arguing against the onus put on potential victims of assault to "stay safe." I don't think there is a problem teaching people about avoiding certain situations, and not putting oneself into harms way. I totally agree that a victim should never be blamed for assault but I also think that an awareness of safety needs to be taught and encouraged. It isn't your fault at all that you got mugged in a dark alley in a known dangerous neighbourhood of a foreign city. But as a parent or friend it is perfectly fine to encourage travelers to do some research on the place they are visiting and talk about how to be cautious.
I do agree about the other thing often mentioned in these articles: Don't teach the victims how to avoid it - teach the perpetrators not to do it. This is the weak link in our sexual discussions and education, We too often breeze quickly by the concept of consent. We need to talk about what consent is, its value, how to ensure it has and continues to be given in sexual situations, and even how to give it. No parent sets out to raise a rapist, and the blame shouldn't be on the parents in these situations. However, everyone needs to step up the discussion about respect. We need to identify disrespectful, dangerous, or even illegal actions. We need to talk clearly about how to behave appropriately.
I love the 20 Minutes of Action 4 Change that calls on fathers to talk to their sons today about consent. From the age of 1 all the way up until a child leaves home, having a 20 minute conversation once a year could do wonders. This are the discussions that people avoid having and we shouldn't.
And, I still love the tea video about consent.
Monday, 29 August 2016
Motherhood - Be Quiet
This was posted by Meg on Facebook a while ago and it really hit home. The things that people have said to me when I mention wanting to only have one child are frequently appaling and often hurtful, and my plans are all in the hypothetical. It would be so much worse if any of the situations below were my current reality.
With our wedding approaching I thought it was a good time to post this - these types of events tend to lend themselves to people asking invasive questions and sharing upsetting comments (with good intentions but hurtful just the same.)
The original piece is entitled Mind Your Own Womb and was written by Nadirah Angail. I have adapted it considerably so please go read her version as well. The main thing that neither address is the possibility that the women doesn't want children at all. Both versions are based around a female experience but this isn't a gender thing, it is a family thing. Man can hurt just as much from inappropriate questions about parenthood.
Somewhere there is a woman: 36, no children.
People ask her, “Still no kids?” Her response varies from day to day, but it usually includes forced smiles and restraint. “Nope, not yet,” she says with a chuckle, muffling her frustration. “Well, don’t wait forever. That clock is ticking, ya know,” they say before departing, happy for imparting such erudite wisdom. They leave and the woman stops holding her smile. Why couldn't they be quiet. They don't know her pain, they don't understand her reality. She is hurt and frustrated and this conversation doesn't address the truth that...
- she’s been pregnant 4 times and miscarried every one
- she started trying for a baby on her wedding night, and that was 5 years ago
- her husband has an ex-wife and she has given him children
- she wants desperately to try invitro but can’t even afford the deposit
- she’s done multiple types of fertility testing and treatments and still has no children
- this issue causes friction in her marriage
- all her sisters have children and one of them didn’t even want children
- her best friend is pregnant and she just got invited to another baby shower
- her mother keeps asking
- her in-laws want to be grandparents
- her neighbor has twins and treats them like shit
- 16-year-olds get pregnant without trying
- she’s already picked out names
- there’s an empty room in her house
- there is an empty space in her body
- she has so much to offer
- her husband would be a great dad
- she would be a great mother, but isn’t.
Somewhere else is another woman: 35, one child.
People say to her, “Only one? You never wanted any more?” “I’m happy with my one,” she says calmly, a rehearsed response she’s given more times than she can count. Quite believable but she wishes they had just stayed quiet. No one would ever suspect that the question cuts through her normally happy life. That just a simple comment can bring back the dark reality that this is the very thing keeping her up at night. It is difficult reminder because...
- her one pregnancy was a miracle
- her son still asks for a brother or sister
- she always wanted at least three
- her second pregnancy had to be terminated to save her life
- her doctor says it would be “high-risk”
- she’s struggling to care for the one she has
- sometimes one feels like two
- her husband won’t even entertain the thought of another
- her family thinks one is enough and wouldn't support more
- she’s deep into her career and can’t step away
- she feels selfish
- her postpartum depression was so intense
- she can’t imagine going through everything again
- she has body issues and pregnancy only exacerbates it
- she had to have a hysterectomy
- she wants another baby, but can’t have it.
Another woman: 34, five children.
People say to her, “Five? Good lord, I hope you’re done!” And then they laugh… because those types of comments are funny. The woman laughs too, but not in earnest. She would have preferred them to be quiet. She changes the subject, as she always does, and gives the disrespect a pass. Just another encounter with this frustrating attitude towards her family. It hurts her because...
- she’s pregnant with another and feels like she has to hide the joy
- she always wanted a big family and doesn’t see why people seem so disturbed by it
- she has no siblings and felt profoundly lonely as a child
- her Granny had 12 and she’d love to be just like her
- she couldn’t imagine life without her children, but people treat her like they’re a punishment
- she doesn’t want to be pitied
- people assume this isn’t what she wanted
- they assume she’s just irresponsible
- they believe she has no say
- she feels misunderstood
- she’s tired of defending her private choices
- she and her husband are perfectly capable of supporting their family but that doesn’t seem to matter
- she’s tired of the “funny” comments
- she minds her own business and wishes others would mind theirs
- sometimes she doubts herself and wonders if she should have stopped two kids ago
- others are quick to offer criticism and slow to offer help
- she’s sick of the scrutiny
- she’s not a side show
- people are rude and so many seem to have opinions on her private life
- all she wants to do is live in peace
These women are everywhere. They are our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, our co-workers, our cousins. They have no use for our advice or opinions. Their reproductive lives are their own. You probably don't know the truth behind the simple reality of 5 or 4 or 3 or 2 or 1 or no children in someone's life. Let them share if they want to. Don't ask, don't comment. Just. Be. Quiet.
With our wedding approaching I thought it was a good time to post this - these types of events tend to lend themselves to people asking invasive questions and sharing upsetting comments (with good intentions but hurtful just the same.)
The original piece is entitled Mind Your Own Womb and was written by Nadirah Angail. I have adapted it considerably so please go read her version as well. The main thing that neither address is the possibility that the women doesn't want children at all. Both versions are based around a female experience but this isn't a gender thing, it is a family thing. Man can hurt just as much from inappropriate questions about parenthood.
Be Quiet
Somewhere there is a woman: 36, no children.
People ask her, “Still no kids?” Her response varies from day to day, but it usually includes forced smiles and restraint. “Nope, not yet,” she says with a chuckle, muffling her frustration. “Well, don’t wait forever. That clock is ticking, ya know,” they say before departing, happy for imparting such erudite wisdom. They leave and the woman stops holding her smile. Why couldn't they be quiet. They don't know her pain, they don't understand her reality. She is hurt and frustrated and this conversation doesn't address the truth that...
- she’s been pregnant 4 times and miscarried every one
- she started trying for a baby on her wedding night, and that was 5 years ago
- her husband has an ex-wife and she has given him children
- she wants desperately to try invitro but can’t even afford the deposit
- she’s done multiple types of fertility testing and treatments and still has no children
- this issue causes friction in her marriage
- all her sisters have children and one of them didn’t even want children
- her best friend is pregnant and she just got invited to another baby shower
- her mother keeps asking
- her in-laws want to be grandparents
- her neighbor has twins and treats them like shit
- 16-year-olds get pregnant without trying
- she’s already picked out names
- there’s an empty room in her house
- there is an empty space in her body
- she has so much to offer
- her husband would be a great dad
- she would be a great mother, but isn’t.
Somewhere else is another woman: 35, one child.
People say to her, “Only one? You never wanted any more?” “I’m happy with my one,” she says calmly, a rehearsed response she’s given more times than she can count. Quite believable but she wishes they had just stayed quiet. No one would ever suspect that the question cuts through her normally happy life. That just a simple comment can bring back the dark reality that this is the very thing keeping her up at night. It is difficult reminder because...
- her one pregnancy was a miracle
- her son still asks for a brother or sister
- she always wanted at least three
- her second pregnancy had to be terminated to save her life
- her doctor says it would be “high-risk”
- she’s struggling to care for the one she has
- sometimes one feels like two
- her husband won’t even entertain the thought of another
- her family thinks one is enough and wouldn't support more
- she’s deep into her career and can’t step away
- she feels selfish
- her postpartum depression was so intense
- she can’t imagine going through everything again
- she has body issues and pregnancy only exacerbates it
- she had to have a hysterectomy
- she wants another baby, but can’t have it.
Another woman: 34, five children.
People say to her, “Five? Good lord, I hope you’re done!” And then they laugh… because those types of comments are funny. The woman laughs too, but not in earnest. She would have preferred them to be quiet. She changes the subject, as she always does, and gives the disrespect a pass. Just another encounter with this frustrating attitude towards her family. It hurts her because...
- she’s pregnant with another and feels like she has to hide the joy
- she always wanted a big family and doesn’t see why people seem so disturbed by it
- she has no siblings and felt profoundly lonely as a child
- her Granny had 12 and she’d love to be just like her
- she couldn’t imagine life without her children, but people treat her like they’re a punishment
- she doesn’t want to be pitied
- people assume this isn’t what she wanted
- they assume she’s just irresponsible
- they believe she has no say
- she feels misunderstood
- she’s tired of defending her private choices
- she and her husband are perfectly capable of supporting their family but that doesn’t seem to matter
- she’s tired of the “funny” comments
- she minds her own business and wishes others would mind theirs
- sometimes she doubts herself and wonders if she should have stopped two kids ago
- others are quick to offer criticism and slow to offer help
- she’s sick of the scrutiny
- she’s not a side show
- people are rude and so many seem to have opinions on her private life
- all she wants to do is live in peace
These women are everywhere. They are our neighbors, our friends, our sisters, our co-workers, our cousins. They have no use for our advice or opinions. Their reproductive lives are their own. You probably don't know the truth behind the simple reality of 5 or 4 or 3 or 2 or 1 or no children in someone's life. Let them share if they want to. Don't ask, don't comment. Just. Be. Quiet.
Monday, 18 April 2016
Coaching Question - Part One
I spent the last six months attending some sessions with business coach, Evan, from Evan Thompson and Associates. It is a good point in my career (early 30's, not a manager but also no longer in an 'entry level' position) to work at professional development that was focused on soft skills instead of knowledge gain. It was interesting and valuable to concentrate on improving communication at an interpersonal level instead of thinking on the high-level communication style that marketing lends itself to.
The most profound challenge that Evan presented during our sessions was to determine what four words I would want people to use when describing my personality. It is interesting to try to put who you are into just four words.
The most profound challenge that Evan presented during our sessions was to determine what four words I would want people to use when describing my personality. It is interesting to try to put who you are into just four words.
Monday, 12 October 2015
By Recommendation
Literally everyone that I asked for suggestions from, of what to do in Chicago, mentioned the Architecture Boat Tour On The River. So yesterday, Jason and I decided that would be our main activity for the day. We are trying to keep costs down and the $42 a person price tag was a bit of a deteriorate for us, the Canadian Dollar is so low in comparison to the American that everything is pricier than we would like it to be. However, this was seriously mentioned by everyone as almost a mandatory experience.
We waited fairly late to head into downtown because it was the Chicago Marathon and was going to be packed. When we were trying to find a place to stay in Chicago for this weekend we couldn't figure out why everything was booked and so insanely expensive, it is one of the reasons that our AirBnB ended up being so far away from downtown was that we couldn't find or afford anything closer. It wasn't until Meg mentioned it recently that we figured out that Canadian Thanksgiving is the same weekend as the marathon and that was why. Tomorrow is also Columbus day, but that doesn't seem to be that major of a holiday, we didn't even notice it happening in NYC last year.
When we did get downtown in the early afternoon it was still really busy, lots of people in running gear with medals on. We went fairly quickly to the river to get tickets and found out they were sold out until 5:00pm, we got those and prepared to wander downtown, which we hadn't really done yet. We went to Millennium Park and saw The Bean. Ate our packed lunch and walked along the lake and river front.
Turns out 5:00 is the perfect time to do the boat tour! The docent/guide kept mentioning how beautiful the low light was on the buildings since he normally does midday tours he was quite excited. The tour lived up to the hype. I could have stayed on that boat listening to the guide talk about architecture for hours more. The 90 minutes flew by and having the different styles pointed out and explained was an incredible experience. I would FOR SURE recommend this as an important thing to do when visiting the city.
After the cruise, we went looking for deep dish pizza for dinner, lots of Google Maps searches. Teri had mentioned the chain Giordano's as a good place to go, I had also noticed the Lou Malnati's as a popular place with lots of locations as well. We took The Loop, the elevated subway system, to go to one Lou Malnati's place that was close by, the line up was insane. Then I remember that Giordano's had a location near our apartment, turned out it was walking distance away and we just headed south to that one. There was a much smaller line.
I loved deep dish (or stuffed) pizza! Definitely my preferred in the whole Chicago and NYC pizza debate. Jason leans much further on the side of New York but still enjoyed the Chicago style.
We waited fairly late to head into downtown because it was the Chicago Marathon and was going to be packed. When we were trying to find a place to stay in Chicago for this weekend we couldn't figure out why everything was booked and so insanely expensive, it is one of the reasons that our AirBnB ended up being so far away from downtown was that we couldn't find or afford anything closer. It wasn't until Meg mentioned it recently that we figured out that Canadian Thanksgiving is the same weekend as the marathon and that was why. Tomorrow is also Columbus day, but that doesn't seem to be that major of a holiday, we didn't even notice it happening in NYC last year.
When we did get downtown in the early afternoon it was still really busy, lots of people in running gear with medals on. We went fairly quickly to the river to get tickets and found out they were sold out until 5:00pm, we got those and prepared to wander downtown, which we hadn't really done yet. We went to Millennium Park and saw The Bean. Ate our packed lunch and walked along the lake and river front.
Turns out 5:00 is the perfect time to do the boat tour! The docent/guide kept mentioning how beautiful the low light was on the buildings since he normally does midday tours he was quite excited. The tour lived up to the hype. I could have stayed on that boat listening to the guide talk about architecture for hours more. The 90 minutes flew by and having the different styles pointed out and explained was an incredible experience. I would FOR SURE recommend this as an important thing to do when visiting the city.
Trying True Deep Dish Pizza For The First Time
Jason at Giordano's - Hyde Park
Oct 11, 2015 - Photo by ME with my phone
After the cruise, we went looking for deep dish pizza for dinner, lots of Google Maps searches. Teri had mentioned the chain Giordano's as a good place to go, I had also noticed the Lou Malnati's as a popular place with lots of locations as well. We took The Loop, the elevated subway system, to go to one Lou Malnati's place that was close by, the line up was insane. Then I remember that Giordano's had a location near our apartment, turned out it was walking distance away and we just headed south to that one. There was a much smaller line.
I loved deep dish (or stuffed) pizza! Definitely my preferred in the whole Chicago and NYC pizza debate. Jason leans much further on the side of New York but still enjoyed the Chicago style.
Wednesday, 7 October 2015
Still Mourning
Time does change how and when I grieve about my father. There aren't really surprise breakdowns anymore. I can control my crying better and know during a conversation whether it is going to upset me, then I can decide to steer it in a way that won't. There are still trigger words, phrases, and concepts that I find difficult.
Last night I was hurting and missing him so much. I wish I could turn times like that into actions that would be more positive or productive - focus on good memories, or documenting my thoughts into art or something. But really it is just pain and my reaction is to cry.
Last night I was hurting and missing him so much. I wish I could turn times like that into actions that would be more positive or productive - focus on good memories, or documenting my thoughts into art or something. But really it is just pain and my reaction is to cry.
Wednesday, 4 February 2015
The Talking Cure - Post 3 of 3
The responses that I got from people that I sent The Talking Cure article to were incredible, I asked to hear their thoughts and they delivered. I was happily reminded about the fact that I surround myself with extremely intelligent people. Here are some small clips from the wide range of people who sent me their ideas. (Again, I am keeping these anonymous, since those that replied did not necessarily consent to being posted on Always Standing.)
What is interesting is the link they are drawing between television watching, low income house holds, and low IQs. I like that they did point out that they have not found a causational relationship but rather a correlation. More TV watching means less talking which makes sense, but why would a child not pick up on the words being spoken by the characters on TV? Maybe low income parents are not as good of teachers? Or maybe they are not as present as much since they generally have to work more hours at low wages to get by.
Not surprisingly, this article states exactly what my mom always told me from the time I was a little girl. She noticed the difference between my brother and I. She knew that it was with me being the second child, she spoke a lot more to me/us as my brother was older and could talk, etc. And she had me on her knee from newborn as she would read to my brother, books way older than for a newborn. As a result, she noticed I talked much quicker than my brother and my reading skills were off the charts.
I wonder about what difference a large family makes with all the conversations that kids can observe and engage in.
I liked what it had to say about cultural relativism vs imperialism and whether we should be telling poorer people how to raise their children. Some very interesting philosophical issues involved! I'm not sure how I feel about that...obviously we want to break the cycle of poverty , but is that the way to do it?
It's not a matter of low-income families not having the words to speak with their children, but rather connected to other bigger issues of secure attachment, food/income/housing security and the depilating effect hopelessness and helplessness can have on a person. There is a lot of research about the level of mindfulness and self-awareness in low-income versus high socioeconomic individuals and I think that impacts how a family might connect with their children as well.
I can see that poverty could be related to less verbal language in their home. I think that poverty affects peoples lives in so many ways - they have less time and energy for their kids. To me, what i think about - is parents attachment to their kids. The article discussed that a little. Attachment/bonding with your kids brings so much to your kids. And i am sure if your spending a lot of time with your kids, your talking to them a lot too.
I was also very touched by the number of personal stories people shared with me, about growing up, or their own children or their work. I am not posting those, but that gave an even deeper perspective into the issue.
What is interesting is the link they are drawing between television watching, low income house holds, and low IQs. I like that they did point out that they have not found a causational relationship but rather a correlation. More TV watching means less talking which makes sense, but why would a child not pick up on the words being spoken by the characters on TV? Maybe low income parents are not as good of teachers? Or maybe they are not as present as much since they generally have to work more hours at low wages to get by.
Not surprisingly, this article states exactly what my mom always told me from the time I was a little girl. She noticed the difference between my brother and I. She knew that it was with me being the second child, she spoke a lot more to me/us as my brother was older and could talk, etc. And she had me on her knee from newborn as she would read to my brother, books way older than for a newborn. As a result, she noticed I talked much quicker than my brother and my reading skills were off the charts.
I wonder about what difference a large family makes with all the conversations that kids can observe and engage in.
I liked what it had to say about cultural relativism vs imperialism and whether we should be telling poorer people how to raise their children. Some very interesting philosophical issues involved! I'm not sure how I feel about that...obviously we want to break the cycle of poverty , but is that the way to do it?
It's not a matter of low-income families not having the words to speak with their children, but rather connected to other bigger issues of secure attachment, food/income/housing security and the depilating effect hopelessness and helplessness can have on a person. There is a lot of research about the level of mindfulness and self-awareness in low-income versus high socioeconomic individuals and I think that impacts how a family might connect with their children as well.
I can see that poverty could be related to less verbal language in their home. I think that poverty affects peoples lives in so many ways - they have less time and energy for their kids. To me, what i think about - is parents attachment to their kids. The article discussed that a little. Attachment/bonding with your kids brings so much to your kids. And i am sure if your spending a lot of time with your kids, your talking to them a lot too.
I was also very touched by the number of personal stories people shared with me, about growing up, or their own children or their work. I am not posting those, but that gave an even deeper perspective into the issue.
Sunday, 7 September 2014
Vintage Dad
Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.
This is at Ipperwash Beach, where we used to go before we bought The Cottage. I can't tell my age, but I think I am older than 3 months, so this must be in 1985, shortly after I turned one. I am wearing my grandmother's crazy sunhat and have sand all over my mouth. (I wasn't a big sand eater - Mike was way worse.) I am also holding a book, which is pretty awesome. But, enough about me...
This is hilariously awesome vintage Dad; I can barely remember when he had his mustache. I like that he is just standing there looking bored - nothing to really do and no one to talk to at that particular moment. Also, he is just chilling out in an old-school life jacket, which we may still have - I definitely remember it. (We took the Laser up to Ipperwash every year.) What is interesting to point out is that he is around my age in this shot, would have just turned 31.
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This is at Ipperwash Beach, where we used to go before we bought The Cottage. I can't tell my age, but I think I am older than 3 months, so this must be in 1985, shortly after I turned one. I am wearing my grandmother's crazy sunhat and have sand all over my mouth. (I wasn't a big sand eater - Mike was way worse.) I am also holding a book, which is pretty awesome. But, enough about me...
This is hilariously awesome vintage Dad; I can barely remember when he had his mustache. I like that he is just standing there looking bored - nothing to really do and no one to talk to at that particular moment. Also, he is just chilling out in an old-school life jacket, which we may still have - I definitely remember it. (We took the Laser up to Ipperwash every year.) What is interesting to point out is that he is around my age in this shot, would have just turned 31.
Sand Everywhere
Chris and George
Ipperwash, 1985
Thursday, 28 August 2014
Introduced
The following is posted on the Forrec internal website, to introduce me to the 120 plus team:
I am not a huge fan of the photo, but it is nice that the company does this to help smooth the transition for new employees. There has since been two other new people start after me so my profile is not alone, and it may get bumped soon. I know that I have mentioned not really liking the word 'gregarious' before, but at the time I was filling out the questions it seemed like a good choice.
Friday, 4 July 2014
Let Me Buy You An Owl
I watched her hair turn into leaves.
Don't play with your punctuation Timmy!
It isn't everyday you see your eyebrows.
Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk.
Here, let me buy you an owl.
Why can't it always be Tuesday?
I wish that you'd seen me before I started knitting.
Walk the dog. Walk the dog. Walk the dog.
You shouldn't take the sidewalk at face value.
I can hypnotize my goldfish with a spoon.
Don't make me show you the tea towels!
Take it now. Take it now. Take it now.
Don't park on the coral reef.
Thomas takes everything to the other side.
Please watch the bananas.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Don't play with your punctuation Timmy!
It isn't everyday you see your eyebrows.
Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk. Talk.
Here, let me buy you an owl.
Why can't it always be Tuesday?
I wish that you'd seen me before I started knitting.
Walk the dog. Walk the dog. Walk the dog.
You shouldn't take the sidewalk at face value.
I can hypnotize my goldfish with a spoon.
Don't make me show you the tea towels!
Take it now. Take it now. Take it now.
Don't park on the coral reef.
Thomas takes everything to the other side.
Please watch the bananas.
Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Sunday, 18 May 2014
Can You Really Tell?
Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.
My dad didn't have coffee very often, it didn't really agree with him. I also don't drink a lot of coffee, it makes my hands shaky, gives me stomach pain, and speeds up my heart rate uncomfortably. I have stolen my dad's line that "It makes me chatty." Which people find hilarious because I, and my dad, are naturally chatty. But on coffee it is worse.
However, sometimes my dad would have coffee as a treat at the cottage and he would also add some type of liquor. So, we always had great liquors around for this reason. One of his favourites was Amaretto, that most people would recognize by the brand name Disaronno and its pretty bottle. However, I think that Dad would just buy the cheaper brands, or even cheaper ones during trips, and then just pour it in the same nice Disaronno bottle. Sneaky? Smart? Cheap? Creative? I love it.
My dad didn't have coffee very often, it didn't really agree with him. I also don't drink a lot of coffee, it makes my hands shaky, gives me stomach pain, and speeds up my heart rate uncomfortably. I have stolen my dad's line that "It makes me chatty." Which people find hilarious because I, and my dad, are naturally chatty. But on coffee it is worse.
However, sometimes my dad would have coffee as a treat at the cottage and he would also add some type of liquor. So, we always had great liquors around for this reason. One of his favourites was Amaretto, that most people would recognize by the brand name Disaronno and its pretty bottle. However, I think that Dad would just buy the cheaper brands, or even cheaper ones during trips, and then just pour it in the same nice Disaronno bottle. Sneaky? Smart? Cheap? Creative? I love it.
Tuesday, 6 May 2014
Look Up
This has been showing up on my Facebook newsfeed a lot recently, and if you haven't watched it yet you should. I love Spoken Word poetry and this is a good one, accompanied by a slick video.
Look Up by Gary Turk
I don't totally agree, I think that technology has given us a lot. The internet can be isolating but it also has helped so many niche groups find each other across vast distances, making people feel less lonely because they knew that they are not alone in their interests, disabilities, quirks, or thoughts. When close friends move away our devices help us stay in touch and organize getting together. However, these inventions do have a habit of taking over and people use them as a crutch against raw social interaction. Have them help you, not hurt you.
Sunday, 4 May 2014
My Work Self
One of the recent job applications I did included a personality assessment thing, that it later sent me. This is what it said:
Self-Initiative
You would be described as very competitive, enterprising, assertive, determined and goal oriented. You may often display new and creative ways to reach your objectives. You will be self-evaluative and critical of your own performance. Given an objective, you would be able to develop your own plan, manage your time and focus your effort on a daily basis to reach your goals. Being a self-manager comes naturally to you, and as such you are able to work with limited guidance and direction. You are able to motivate yourself without frequent input from the management and will work well with a manager who coaches and consults rather than directs.
Drive
Your motivation is balanced between your concern for the needs of other people and meeting the long and short term goals you have set for yourself. You are most comfortable in situations that offer the opportunity to do both. You would enjoy working in an environment where you are able to meet short term targets which lead to your longer term objectives.
Communication Style
You tend to be quite comfortable in situations where there is potential for conflict. You may even occasionally create conflict to further your own goals. Comfort with conflict can be a strength and is often found in competitive people but it can also be a trait that is difficult for some managers to handle. Social Style You are quite sociable, cheerful, friendly and outgoing. You are able to build relationships and friendships without difficulty and are quite comfortable with other people. You will be able to work well in an environment where there is regular contact with others. Generally, you would be a good company representative and have the ability to communicate with a wide variety of people in a number of different functions.
Learning Style
You would be described as quite logical, analytical, factual and practical. A role requiring the solving of intellectual or conceptual problems would interest you. You would tend to enjoy technically oriented and detailed work. You pay attention to detail and would examine the issues until you feel satisfied that you understand them. Often you are interested in learning for its own sake and dealing with complex, challenging issues would be a motivating factor for you. You would be quite comfortable in a business culture that has a significant problem solving component.
Self-Perception
You have healthy self confidence, which allows you to feel that you're able to handle most situations through your own efforts. You accept responsibility for your own performance and expect to succeed in most things that you attempt. You also handle most stressful situations quite well. Urgent projects, deadlines and criticisms would normally be dealt with effectively. Your ability to cope with a stressful work environment may even enhance your performance in challenging situations.
Self-Initiative
You would be described as very competitive, enterprising, assertive, determined and goal oriented. You may often display new and creative ways to reach your objectives. You will be self-evaluative and critical of your own performance. Given an objective, you would be able to develop your own plan, manage your time and focus your effort on a daily basis to reach your goals. Being a self-manager comes naturally to you, and as such you are able to work with limited guidance and direction. You are able to motivate yourself without frequent input from the management and will work well with a manager who coaches and consults rather than directs.
Drive
Your motivation is balanced between your concern for the needs of other people and meeting the long and short term goals you have set for yourself. You are most comfortable in situations that offer the opportunity to do both. You would enjoy working in an environment where you are able to meet short term targets which lead to your longer term objectives.
Communication Style
You tend to be quite comfortable in situations where there is potential for conflict. You may even occasionally create conflict to further your own goals. Comfort with conflict can be a strength and is often found in competitive people but it can also be a trait that is difficult for some managers to handle. Social Style You are quite sociable, cheerful, friendly and outgoing. You are able to build relationships and friendships without difficulty and are quite comfortable with other people. You will be able to work well in an environment where there is regular contact with others. Generally, you would be a good company representative and have the ability to communicate with a wide variety of people in a number of different functions.
Learning Style
You would be described as quite logical, analytical, factual and practical. A role requiring the solving of intellectual or conceptual problems would interest you. You would tend to enjoy technically oriented and detailed work. You pay attention to detail and would examine the issues until you feel satisfied that you understand them. Often you are interested in learning for its own sake and dealing with complex, challenging issues would be a motivating factor for you. You would be quite comfortable in a business culture that has a significant problem solving component.
Self-Perception
You have healthy self confidence, which allows you to feel that you're able to handle most situations through your own efforts. You accept responsibility for your own performance and expect to succeed in most things that you attempt. You also handle most stressful situations quite well. Urgent projects, deadlines and criticisms would normally be dealt with effectively. Your ability to cope with a stressful work environment may even enhance your performance in challenging situations.
Sunday, 20 April 2014
Talks About Sharks
Sunday Mornin' Coming Down - A post about my Dad each Sunday, named after a song that he loved.
I received a note from Amy a couple of weeks ago, she reached out to tell me this story and let me know that my dad meant something to her son, Ethan. I believe Ethan is 5 years old. Braeden and Amy had been redecorating Ethan's room a little bit with Star Wars posters. Ethan was having a blast hanging them with sticky tack. When they were done hanging posters Ethan got the picture of my dad in a black army toque that was given out during the wake and hung it on his wall, completely on his own. He said he likes seeing George and thinking about their talks about sharks. Ethan is very passionate about sharks and Dad had toy ones at The Cottage that he and Ethan played with. As Amy phrased it, "Your dad had such a way with people," and I completely agree. I was so thankful to hear the story! Ethan is amazing and, living in Toronto, I don't see him or his parents as much as I would like. I am glad that my dad got to bond with him. To have your picture share wall space with Star Wars posters in a 5 year old's room is very special. It makes me feel like he won't be easily forgotten.
I received a note from Amy a couple of weeks ago, she reached out to tell me this story and let me know that my dad meant something to her son, Ethan. I believe Ethan is 5 years old. Braeden and Amy had been redecorating Ethan's room a little bit with Star Wars posters. Ethan was having a blast hanging them with sticky tack. When they were done hanging posters Ethan got the picture of my dad in a black army toque that was given out during the wake and hung it on his wall, completely on his own. He said he likes seeing George and thinking about their talks about sharks. Ethan is very passionate about sharks and Dad had toy ones at The Cottage that he and Ethan played with. As Amy phrased it, "Your dad had such a way with people," and I completely agree. I was so thankful to hear the story! Ethan is amazing and, living in Toronto, I don't see him or his parents as much as I would like. I am glad that my dad got to bond with him. To have your picture share wall space with Star Wars posters in a 5 year old's room is very special. It makes me feel like he won't be easily forgotten.
Monday, 20 January 2014
19 Things Only Geminis Understand
------------------ from Buzzfeed
Note: I am a Gemini, a lot of these are true for me.
1. You can get SUPER SUPER excited about ANY idea, so long as it’s not more than a few seconds old.
2. You will strike up conversations with just about anybody, you can’t help it, you want to know everyone’s story. You will strike up conversations with just about anybody, you can't help it, you want to know everyone's story.
3. Though sometimes, you can get on too much of a roll while chatting.
4. You want to hang out with everyone, but you sometimes forget that’s not humanly possible.
5. Being home sick on a weekend is just the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
6. You’re obsessively curious about everything, so your Google search history is… fun. You’re not creepy, you just want to know all the things. You’re also a little creepy.
7. You’ve bought a ton of daily deals that you’ve never used.
8. Your room is a mess because everything you own is in the last place you were standing right before you lost interest in it.
9. You’re very eager to start text and Gchat conversations, but you’re not really good at remembering to end them.
10. You’re so excited to hang out that you frequently over-schedule yourself.
11. You have started and then abandoned at least 3 blogs.
12. There are two very different sides to you, and sometimes it can freak people out.
13. On the one hand, you approach a party with the same level of dedication that some people approach their PhDs.
14. But the other side of you is seriously focused and ready to take on that 40 page report or really get serious about updating their twitter.
15. Just when everyone thinks that you’re having a good time, you can just as quickly want to go home.
16. Your friends may sometimes think you’re unsympathetic to their problems because you have a hard time not seeing both sides of the story. You just really want to understand where everyone is coming from.
17. But you’re the person everyone calls whenever they want to take an impromptu trip to anywhere. Which means it’s sometimes super difficult for you to get anything done.
18. Because you’re so fickle, online dating is perfect for you and terrible for the people trying to date you.
19. But even though you may seem hot and cold, you’re really just two halves of the same person, which means you can be a good fit for everybody!
Note: I am a Gemini, a lot of these are true for me.
1. You can get SUPER SUPER excited about ANY idea, so long as it’s not more than a few seconds old.
2. You will strike up conversations with just about anybody, you can’t help it, you want to know everyone’s story. You will strike up conversations with just about anybody, you can't help it, you want to know everyone's story.
3. Though sometimes, you can get on too much of a roll while chatting.
4. You want to hang out with everyone, but you sometimes forget that’s not humanly possible.
5. Being home sick on a weekend is just the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
6. You’re obsessively curious about everything, so your Google search history is… fun. You’re not creepy, you just want to know all the things. You’re also a little creepy.
7. You’ve bought a ton of daily deals that you’ve never used.
8. Your room is a mess because everything you own is in the last place you were standing right before you lost interest in it.
9. You’re very eager to start text and Gchat conversations, but you’re not really good at remembering to end them.
10. You’re so excited to hang out that you frequently over-schedule yourself.
11. You have started and then abandoned at least 3 blogs.
12. There are two very different sides to you, and sometimes it can freak people out.
13. On the one hand, you approach a party with the same level of dedication that some people approach their PhDs.
14. But the other side of you is seriously focused and ready to take on that 40 page report or really get serious about updating their twitter.
15. Just when everyone thinks that you’re having a good time, you can just as quickly want to go home.
16. Your friends may sometimes think you’re unsympathetic to their problems because you have a hard time not seeing both sides of the story. You just really want to understand where everyone is coming from.
17. But you’re the person everyone calls whenever they want to take an impromptu trip to anywhere. Which means it’s sometimes super difficult for you to get anything done.
18. Because you’re so fickle, online dating is perfect for you and terrible for the people trying to date you.
19. But even though you may seem hot and cold, you’re really just two halves of the same person, which means you can be a good fit for everybody!
Friday, 6 December 2013
Feeling Far Away
I am returning to The Cottage this weekend. I am glad to have come back to Toronto for a couple of days, following my dad's funeral, because it has given me a chance to try living 'life as normal' but it has been difficult. I am tired all the time and consumed with sadness. At times his death is all that I think about and all I want to talk about, then at others I do everything I can to drive it from my mind.
I have been meaning to post about this, but I keep waiting to 'find' my father somehow. It is difficult to explain and I hope I get a chance at some point to work on writing about the concept and my feelings connected to it, however at the moment the basics of this is that I feel lost and constantly miss him. It hurts. Everything hurts.
I think being back at The Cottage with my mom, Mike, and Aimee will make me feel closer to my dad. He is buried there, so many memories connected to him are there, and I will be with people who directly understand and are experiencing my grief. I will be coming back to Toronto on Sunday so as to start the whole 'life as normal' thing again Monday morning.
I have been meaning to post about this, but I keep waiting to 'find' my father somehow. It is difficult to explain and I hope I get a chance at some point to work on writing about the concept and my feelings connected to it, however at the moment the basics of this is that I feel lost and constantly miss him. It hurts. Everything hurts.
I think being back at The Cottage with my mom, Mike, and Aimee will make me feel closer to my dad. He is buried there, so many memories connected to him are there, and I will be with people who directly understand and are experiencing my grief. I will be coming back to Toronto on Sunday so as to start the whole 'life as normal' thing again Monday morning.
Friday, 22 March 2013
Apologies To My Dedicated Daily Readers
So, I assume that most people check into Always Standing every couple of days, but I do have a few daily readers. Mainly this means Taylor and Lochlan. So apologies to them, and anyone else who has stopped by to read a new post and not found an update since Tuesday. It has been a busy week at work and I have been doing things over my lunch hour, which is a time I sometimes spend writing posts. On Wednesday I went to The Home Show with Monica and Heather is visiting so last night was spent catching up with her and Kristen, this means that basically my nights have been full too, which is the other time I use to write up posts.
Thursday, 31 January 2013
Shut It Down
After weeks of excitement, chat, thought, and early prep, I am closing down my 'almost company' before it even begins. I had wanted to start a baby product subscription box service in Canada called Baby Crates:
I had been researching daily, learning about the market, business model, etc. I was sure that this was not avalible in Canada yet and that I could start something fun and unique here. Well, today I ran across LittleEcoFootprint which is starting this very month. LittleEcoFootprint is a new Canadian subscription box for new moms focused on healthy, natural and Eco-friendly products, which wouldn't have been my slant but is close enough to cancel my plans. However, I still love the subscription box business model and don't want to walk away from the idea of starting my own business, but Baby Crates is over.
I want to thank all my friends and family who have talked with me about this over the past month. Your support and ideas have been so wonderful and helpful. Thank you!
I had been researching daily, learning about the market, business model, etc. I was sure that this was not avalible in Canada yet and that I could start something fun and unique here. Well, today I ran across LittleEcoFootprint which is starting this very month. LittleEcoFootprint is a new Canadian subscription box for new moms focused on healthy, natural and Eco-friendly products, which wouldn't have been my slant but is close enough to cancel my plans. However, I still love the subscription box business model and don't want to walk away from the idea of starting my own business, but Baby Crates is over.
I want to thank all my friends and family who have talked with me about this over the past month. Your support and ideas have been so wonderful and helpful. Thank you!
Monday, 23 January 2012
Monday
I am having a hard time finding something to write about...
I went to my first group session at CAMH (Toronto's Centre for Addiction and Mental Health). It seems like it is going to be good, it is a 15 week CBT group for depression. Today was tiring, and there is homework. I'm glad I finished school before starting this, seems like it could be tough.
I went to my first group session at CAMH (Toronto's Centre for Addiction and Mental Health). It seems like it is going to be good, it is a 15 week CBT group for depression. Today was tiring, and there is homework. I'm glad I finished school before starting this, seems like it could be tough.
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