Thursday, 31 May 2007

Peeps At Work

I definitely think I'm getting a higher readership and number of comments because a lot of my friends are at big kid jobs in front of computers. These jobs don't trust their employees not to while away the hours on Facebook and such, so block many of the fun sites. Not Blogger though, so everyone has access here to read about my life! Ahhh, I so do it for the fans. I'm like a rock star.

Pity Party

I hate myself today. I keep finding myself comparing my life and image to my friends and coming up short, they are all prettier and have better lives. I'm failing at life and in the beauty department. Lately I have gained a bunch of weight, and my hair has been a mess, and my skin is breaking out, and none of my clothes are looking good, and I just look like shit. I have a low paying job that I spend too much time at which still doesn't even pay the rent. I don't even know who I am anymore, what I'm doing, or where I'm going. I'm not even going to bring up my love life right now because it is too pathetic...

House and Grey's

A great MadTV spoof, there are also just House spoofs and Grey's Anatomy spoofs that are really good too.

Wednesday, 30 May 2007

Some Random Thoughts

How can I get the things money can't buy?
How can I get money to buy the things it can?

Mouse Crisis, Part Five

I was warned a couple days ago that mice might be around. Tonight I took a nice long bath only to return to my room to find a tiny dead mouse lying just inside my doorway. Binx must have killed it during my bath, or sometime earlier and I just hadn't noticed. This left me alone in the house, wearing only a towel, and fairly upset. My roommates were all gone. Em is tree planting for the start of the summer, The Boy Roommate is still in Madrid, Ami and The New Roommate were out at the movies. I frantically called around trying to find someone to come and dispose of the bleeding carcase. I stayed downstairs watching TV until just after midnight when Ami and The New Roommate returned home. We played the "Your A Boy" card and The New Roommate kindly cleaned it up for me.

Tuesday, 29 May 2007


Their eyes go back and forth between us
My eyes rest on her
Cold, even, calm
There won’t be anger
We won’t yell, or cry
Today we will just divide

The first thing we bought together
Blue couch
Now sits in the den
Hours spent over catalogues
Weekends laughing in department stores
Spending evenings cuddled with pizza and movies
I get it
It matches my new place

I found this poem in the vast reaches of my computer hard drive. I have a lot of saved writing that I have done over the years. I think this one is fairly recent, and was going to be a lot longer and talk about a lot more items, but of course I got board with it, or uninspired, or busy and never finished it. About time spent with lawyers splitting up the material things during a messy divorce, I thought it was fitting since Ami and I just spent time tonight sitting on the stairs discussing marriage, mature relationships, cheating, and divorce.

Monday, 28 May 2007

Lawn Cutting

I cut the lawn today. I know in most people's lives that would not be a huge event, but it was actually the first time I had ever used a lawn mower. Somehow growing up I avoided ever learning, even though we had a huge lawn. It was a really satisfying experience, mainly because our grass had been so long it looked like we were trying to grow wheat.

Favourite Flower

"Rose" - By Christine Sweeton

Saturday, 26 May 2007

Birthday Reflelections

I have done some thinking and hands down this year was my best birthday since moving to Ottawa. I woke up and had a lovely bath, then Ami whisked me away for a birthday surprise, which turned out to be kayaking on the canal, something I have always wanted to to. I got a great arm workout and saw baby ducks and geese. I had some time by myself to get some school and house work done as well as time socializing. I didn't have to work, which was great. 26 people wished me a Happy Birthday on Facebook (which alerts you as to when peoples birthdays are coming up.) Throughout the day I got so many calls and e-mails from friends and family. Kristen even called from Oakville. Teri called me a few times, and on the last one told me that one of our favorite shows, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip," was starting again, on my birthday night, after a 5 month hiatus. Today at work, I showed up to another surprise, My Cool Boss had got me a chocolate fudge birthday cake. What a great birthday!!

Friday, 25 May 2007


Frustrated with
-this essay
-school in general
-my room
-my appearance
-the heat
-my life right now

Thursday, 24 May 2007


Happy Birthday To ME!!
May 24, 1984
Like I always say;
"If you have to be born on a holiday, be born on a drinking holiday!"
Too bad the May 2-4 weekend never falls on my actual birthday.

Wednesday, 23 May 2007

Live Each Day

Everyone knows the saying "Live each day as though it were your last", I think it may come from the poem that has the line "Dance as though no one was watching". They are all along the same lines as "Live each day like there is no tomorrow". Also there is "Live each day to the fullest" and "Live each day for God" and "Live each day like it was your last". Lately I have been following a different one "Live each day like you are starting a diet tomorrow" the problem is I live it EACH day. So the diet starts NOW, no more tomorrows. Well not diet per say, more of a healthier eating thing, since I have been eating a lot of junk food.

Monday, 21 May 2007


Back To Life

Back to cleaning my room and house.
Back to laundry.
Back to working two jobs.
Back to money stress and paying bills.
Back to writing essays and studying for exams.
Back to reality!

Friday, 18 May 2007

Finally The Louvre

I spent the evening at the Louvre, having postponed the trip to the museum multiple times. It was free for people under 25 for the four hours between 6pm-10pm on Friday nights. I got in, after having my bag x-rayed. The entire place was initially overwhelming, intimidating, annoying, and boring. I spent the first hour wandering aimlessly around seeing the "big sights" sneaking pictures of the Venus de Milo, Mona Lisa, The Winged Victory of Samothrace, and The Raft of Medusa. The place is so filled with people, most of whom are talking much too loudly, have no real idea what they are looking at, and are wanting to add one more check to their list of great travel accomplishments. I remembered The Boy Roommate's advice and got an audioguide. It really focused and helped the rest of my visit. I walked around the French Sculpture and learned so much. It slowed down my pace, made me think and really love and appreciate the pieces. If I ever go through an art gallery alone again I will for sure get the audio guide. I also walked through Napoleon's rooms, which are still decorated and furnished with his original things. I probably only looked at 15% of the collection. I definitely think I should return to Paris, probably in the winter or low season, and do the Louvre for a week straight. Such a huge and amazing place.

Wednesday, 16 May 2007

Hostel Crush

I met a boy. Alex boy. He was a cute boy. I wanted the boy. My hostel boy. Mysterious, quiet, tall, thin boy. Romanian-American boy. Looked like "Almost Famous" boy. Sweet, smart boy. Los Angeles Boy. Drank and partied with the boy. Well dressed boy. Deep voiced boy. Didn't even kiss the boy. Was a little too shy with the boy. Crushing hard for the boy ... but .... will never see this boy again.

Monday, 14 May 2007

Hostel Time

I'm heading to the hostel now so it will be an interesting experience with my French, directional skills and budgeting. Without Anna helping me I will see how well I can communicate. Also I'm running out of money so even though I'm planning to start going to more museums I'm going to have to watch my spending. This will be a whole new adventure.

Sunday, 13 May 2007

My North American Audience

I wasn't planning on updating my blog or going on Facebook while I was away. But I have a public to write to and a Facebook addiction to feed so I couldn't stay away. I am not going on MSN though. I just got a message from My Cool Boss, that he is reading the blog, and my parents were complaining that I hadn't updated. I'm so happy to have my little fan following.

Friday, 11 May 2007


Spent the morning in cliche filled souvenir shops. It seems, like all big touristy cities, if you slap the word "Paris" or a picture of the Eiffel Tower, Notre Damn, or Arc de Triomphe on something, actually on anything, than people will buy it. There is some hideous things out there. I was able to find nice stuff for myself and good gifts for friends, though I have nothing for Teri yet, she is so hard to buy for at times. I'm planning to go to the Louvre this evening so hopefully all that art will get all the tacky images out of my head.

Tears Of Love

I hated it for so long. But last night it happened, I fell in love with The Eiffel Tower. I had seen it from a distance a couple times already, but last night decided to take a late night metro ride to that part of Paris, since I hadn't seen it up close yet. The metro stop was a ways away from it, near the military school, so I came up to it from the side. I then walked towards it through the Champ de Mars park. Seeing it lit up between the trees took my breath away. I always thought it was ugly, stupid, and looked like scaffolding, but it really is beautiful, delicate scaffolding. As I walked towards it I noticed how big it really is. Really breathtaking. I walked along the Seine away from it, forgetting about it as I looked for the Invalides. Waiting to cross a quiet tree lined street I saw the tower again, then it started the light show. Little white sparking lights, like tons of tiny flash bulbs. I started to cry. I haven't cried in a long time. It just really hit home where I was and where I had come from these past few months. I realized this is where I could be and what I could do if I was determined, happy, and healthy. I am now excited about the world, and hopeful about my place in it. I'm in Paris.

Thursday, 10 May 2007

A French Morning

I slept too much yesterday so found myself waking up at 6:30 this morning. Leaving a note for Anna on my pillow and throwing on dirty jeans I headed outside to grab breakfast. I was actually up before “la boulangerie” even opened. I decided to go looking for “un supermarché” because I knew Anna likes orange juice in the mornings and we didn’t buy it when we last went grocery shopping. The Boy Roommate had said there were lots of food shops in the neighborhood. I found one, but the manager (I could tell since he was wearing a suit and taking in a delivery) said it didn’t open until 8:30am. I decided to walk, and I walked for blocks and blocks all through the Left Bank. I started to look for a toilet. The newspaper man outside the Musée d’Orasay said there wasn’t one near-by because the museum was closed, the man in the “brasserie” said there was one next door, obviously sending me to another bar/café, finally I found one in a “un tabac” a lower class bar that also sold cigarettes. Thinking I was running late, since I wanted to be back to the room around the time Anna’s alarm went off at 9:00, I hurried back west. Of course I got lost because the streets here don’t run even close to parallel. When I finally made it back to the supermarket, it still wasn’t open, I must have read the initial clock wrong. I had problems communicating with the people there; figuring out when time it was and what time it was going to be open, even though they spoke English. I went around the corner to sit in a “brasserie” to wait out the next half hour. All the guidebooks tell you that it is cheaper to get things at the bar, and that there are different prices for a table inside and outside. This is so very true. There was a chart on the door with the prices for the different locations. Thankfully I found a bar stool and drank my “cappuccino” and “café au lait” over the next half hour. I couldn’t believe the number of people who ordered alcohol at 8:00 in the morning. I people watched and drooled over the hot bartender. Six Euro later, the equivalent of about nine Canadian dollars, I finally returned to the grocery store and bought the orange juice, which wasn’t stocked yet and had to ask a guy to get some “sans pulpe”. Then I headed to my bakery with considerably less money. After telling the lady “Je suis pauvre ce matain” she informed me I could at get “tois croissant ordinaire” for my “deux, quarante quater.” I made it home at the perfect time, with sore feet from the flip flops and hyped up on caffeine.

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

Le Oops

I started to send a bunch of postcards today. It took all day to find somewhere that sold stamps, though I was probably pronoucing "timbre" wrong for most of it, so maybe that is why everyone was saying "non". I finished writing them and put on the pretty purple stamps, then went searching for a post box, which are yellow here. Only after I had put them in did I learn that there are two slots in the box, one for local and one for longer distance mail. I put them in the wrong one, dang. I hope they still reach their various destinations, though they most likely will be very late, probably arriving after I get home.

Monday, 7 May 2007


I did end up forgetting to bring things.
-My baby pillow
-A watch
-Anna's Phone #
Anna found me at the airport no problem, so forgetting these things really isn't such a big deal, though I do miss that pillow and it would have helped me sleep on the plane.

First Day

Paris smells like dust, urine, and fresh spring flowers.
Paris tastes like strong coffee with thick cream.
Paris sounds like tourists, kindness, and accordian music in a train.
Paris looks like a bright clean ancient world.
Paris feels like strong friendship, independence, and life giving beauty.

Sunday, 6 May 2007

Leaving Now

I head out the door for Paris in a matter of moments. I'm very excited on the inside but calm and thoughtful on the outside. I hope I have packed everything. I hope I have an amazing time. I'm a little worried. That I'm too overweight, ugly, and unfashionable for Paris. That my french is too bad. That it is a city for lovers and I'm alone. That I will get bored or overwhelmed. That I have forgotten to pack something. That I will run out of money. That my friends here will forget me. That something awful will happen to someone I love while I'm gone. But these are all silly and stupid fears, and I'm stepping out on an amazing adventure. So screw it! France, here I come!

Saturday, 5 May 2007

Today's Quote

"I'm in your till, facing your bills" - said by the new guy at work. The whole "I'm in your ----, ----ing your -----" thing often produces some pretty good lines. This one amused me because we both paused and then burst out laughing after he said it.

Friday, 4 May 2007

Party For Me

The cake from my impromptu Goodbye Poker Party at Steph's. Apparently I will be going to France in a cement mixer.

Dimes Too?

Someone once told me that when you see a penny on the ground you should only pick it up if a certain side is facing up. I don't remember which side, heads or tails, is the lucky side that you should pick it up but if that side isn't facing up you are supposed to turn it over to the proper side and leave it for the next person to get. I passed a dime on the sidewalk yesterday (I didn't pick it up because I was in a huge rush to get to work). But it reminded me about this strange coin rule thing and made me wonder if it was for nickels and dimes too, probably not, probably just pennies.

Wednesday, 2 May 2007

Life Lesson

Today I learned that if I get locked out of my house with a shovel, yard work will get done. The gardening that I have been meaning to do this past week is now finally finished. Sunflowers Planted.

Poor Guy

I think The New Roommate (he is getting Anna's old blog nickname) has finally moved in. His first real night here involved The OC, Ami and I dishing about guys, and me waxing my legs. It was more than a little bit Estrogeny. Problem is for the last few weeks Le Manoir has been a girl house, since he hadn't moved in yet, and The Boy Roommate was in France. I'm going to have to get used to guys around again and start wearing pants.