A Space Of One's Own

It has been hard to blog recently because it hasn't been easy to get onto my computer. (And blogging from the tablet is super annoying.) When we started to redo 'the office' to make a nursery it meant getting rid of the spot that I would use my laptop. Jason's work station was moved into the spare room/laundry room and there wasn't space for my chair and little table. For a while I used my laptop on the coffee table downstairs (as I am doing at the moment) or sometimes in bed. However, it was a strange phenomenon where it was either in the way or too out of the way. If it was in the way then it would get moved and tucked away somewhere and that made it harder to pull it out again later to use.

This has meant no blogging, but also my emails are piling up and I haven't done my banking. I have stopped playing WoW, which I have pretty consistently been involved with since Fall 2019. There is also jobs to apply for and more cafe stuff to finish up. Basically I need it to be easy, and comfortable, to work on my laptop. Didn't know this was an issue since I haven't really had or used a desk in a while, but I guess I did always have some type of set up that made it convenient. 

We do have plans to rearrange the living room soon, for baby proofing now that Cigi is becoming more mobile, and that will have some ripple effects for the dining room. I think I will try to set up in there. So fingers crossed you will start to see more posts soon!

JBR - Jason's Beer Review - Coming Soon

I am going to launch a new feature of Always Standing, Beer Reviews! This will be written by me involving quotes and the occasional grade/rating as provided by Jason. I still feel like he can't really tell the difference if he couldn't see the label and I will continue to host blind beer tasting contests to prove this.

However, especially when we travel, Jason takes trying local beer very seriously. So I might as well document it a bit because whenever content creation is easy it is best to take advantage. So stay tuned, first stop Hungary!

So, We Do Have A Name

Bit of an update on that donut business I mentioned before - we have a name! Full disclosure, I hired a communications company to help with this and they came up with it. They sent a list of suggestions many of which were great. I did a survey, got almost 100 responses from friends, family, and their larger networks. This was the decided upon result - I love it! We have the domain and social media names. Just working now on a logo.

FLIPSIDE DONUTS
- the act of looking at something from the other side, an alternative angle
- originally a reference to the back side of a vinyl music record and the location of less popular/mainstream songs

The name comes from the fact that we are turning the idea of the donut on its head. We shrunk it down and are making it gourmet - using a machine that makes them right in front of your eyes, that automatically 'flips' the mini donuts so they cook on both sides.

Our sweet flavours (raspberry and candied rosemary, smores, hazelnut plantain, etc) bring in unexpected ingredients and heighten what is often considered a common or even boring pastry to a new level of taste experience. These are fun, stylish, delicious, tiny treats! Not only that, but we are going on the flipside of sweet - and offering savory mini donuts too (curry, porchetta, taco, etc.).

The cafe itself will have espresso drinks, coffee, and offer a cozy, casual, but attractive place for friends and family to meet and hang out. And on the flipside of the cafe experience - we are licensed! We aren't a bar but at our cafe you can enjoy a beer while trying out a pile of poutine donuts at the end of a busy night, or throw some Irish whiskey into your coffee on Sunday Morning after bringing your young kids in to enjoy a sugary treat.

The cafe location is also on the flipside of the building itself, with Tank Lane being the main commercial street in The Distillery, we are in the south section of the main building, on Case Goods Lane.

Time To Share

I haven't given an update on what is happening in my professional life. Basically I have spent the last 6 months or more working towards opening a mini-donut business. This added element into my life is probably a major component as to why I haven't been posting as much on Always Standing.

I did so well in October, with the intention of spending November sharing information about my new enterprise publicly on this blog. But time slipped away and I didn't know how to explain to the world - using this medium - what was going on. My groups on WhatsApp and close friends over texts get lots of updates. I have sent emails to friends, family, acquaintances and work colleagues. I am using Facebook to share details. But writing about this donut venture here has been escaping me. (I am sure that most of my audience - that is even still around - duplicates from those I speak with more intimately.)

I realize that for me now Always Standing is a bit of a journal. A public repository of what is happening in my life. I don't want to stop writing because I don't want to lose the ability to look back at this time in my life, I love doing TB posts and the chance to see my thoughts from years ago. So the blog is going to continue as a means of documenting my life. There is over a decade of writing, can't stop now!

TB - September 2007

Throwback Thursday - Scroll to the bottom of the month and read up. Or click on the earliest post in the month (to view the post and the comments) then keep clicking Newer Post until you finish the month.

SEPTEMBER 2007

Settling into a full-time job, at GeoConnections, and going to school in the evenings (I am going to meet Erin AH and Jenn soon ... pretty sure they are both in the class I mention attending.) Looks like I signed up to help Kristen at The Charlatan and that I quit Subway, did I end up going back to Subway later? I have a hard time leaving that chain.

There is a quote from my dad! I don't exactly remember where or when or the context in which he was saying it but totally sounds like something he would say. Probably was on the phone. Sadly, I can no longer hear how his voice sounds in my head, it left quickly and I hate that it is gone. 

Noted Post: The I Can See!! post describes one of my favourite personal anecdotes, I remember it happening and I still laugh about it to this day.

It's Been A Long Time

I have been meaning to get back to posting on Always Standing for a while now. And I have known that I wanted my first post after this break to link to the Aaliyah (featuring Timbaland) song from 2000, Try Again. This is for the beginning section that says... It's been a long time, we shouldn't have left you (without a dope beat to step to, step to.) Well, maybe I shouldn't compare the writing on this blog to a 'dope beat' but the phrase 'it's been a long time' always brings to mind that song.

Also, it really has been a long time! My last post was at the end of May and I am now returning after four months. I looked through the archive and I have never even missed one month, let alone a streak. But I am back! Do I bother promising that I plan to post more or even try for everyday?

TB - August 2007

Throwback Thursday - Scroll to the bottom of the month and read up. Or click on the earliest post in the month (to view the post and the comments) then keep clicking Newer Post until you finish the month.

AUGUST 2007

This month saw some considerable shifts, I made the decision not to go back to Carleton full-time and instead took a contract extension with The Department of Natural Resources. I do detail my plan to take two night courses, which I think is where I meet/met Jenn and Erin. (I also feature an adorable photo of the other ERin at the start of the month.) The other change is that Anna and Wes moved out, which I remember being sad about.

Also, I mention Brian and Tina going to Japan, but I can't remember who these people are. Did I meet them at school, or work, if so which work? Were they friends through another friend? The link that I reference in the post is long gone.

When doing these Throwback posts I like to edit them and provide updates, mainly adding in more tags or fixing spelling. Grammar and editing wise I had to do a lot with paragraphs and spacing, what was I thinking? Did I believe that I was writing stream-of-consciousness, and if so that it didn't need to be put into paragraphs?

Noted Post: I don't think the writing is very interesting, but I love the photo of my smile in the Humour post.

But She Did A Photo Diary

Some people said I was cheating by referring people over to Mom's blog after our Inca Trail trip two years ago. The thing is, she writes her blog like a travel diary with tons of photos - her travel posts are just way better than mine. The day-to-day based approach really goes into detail about the trip and her photos are excellent. Always Standing tends to be random and when I travel I still post about it but not consistently or in a way that would give readers a good sense of the trip.

So, I will still be posting about Africa as I think of things or if I notice a good picture that I want to share. However, for those that haven't been checking out Vicarious Travelling on the regular, or during our big Africa Trip, please go read the posts from January. The archive is on the right hand side of the site (she has a different set up from Always Standing) and it is easy to navigate. All the posts from our trip are titled starting with Gate 1, South Africa, (gate 1 was the tour company that the Groupon was from). You can find her first African post HERE.

Also, Vicarious Travelling can always be accessed from the link called Mom's Travel Blog in the Lovely Links section of the left-side column of Always Standing. This is also where you can find a link to Two's Instagram for readers that want to check that but don't have an instagram account. And if you are reading this in the mobile version on your tablet or cell phone and the side columns aren't visible, scroll to the bottom of the page and click on View Web Version to access the aforementioned links.

Not Resting On My Middle Name

I had such a good January when it comes to posting on Always Standing. It is important not to lose steam, not to "rest on my laurels."

Idiom Definition: To stop putting in effort, trying to innovate, or working to advance one's career or status and instead rely on one's past achievements or accolades to remain relevant or successful

Idiom Background: In Ancient Greece, victorious athletes were presented with laurel wreaths to wear. They were, and still are, signs of great accomplishment, unless you start resting on them. Read more at History Revealed.

Laurel wreaths were made from the leaves of the laurel bush (or tree, or shrub, it is basically a mid-size plant.) My middle name, Laura, after my aunt, takes its meaning from the same bush.

Name History: Laura is a Latin name. In Latin the meaning of the name Laura is: Laurel tree or sweet bay tree (symbols of honour and victory).

So Soon, So Unbelievable

I can't believe my trip to Africa starts tomorrow! In fact, for Kristen and Noah the adventure has already begun. As I mentioned back when we booked the tour, there are 6 of us going together. Kristen, Noah, Tessa, Jason, myself, and my mom for 12 days in South Africa with game drives and everything.

Always Standing will be buzzing! I have pre-scheduled posts that detail each day on the itinerary. I hope to load pictures and posts throughout the trip as well - we are staying in nice hotels that should have good wifi.

You should also follow along with Vicarious Travelling, which is my mom's blog - set up in a more 'travel diary' style. (Link on the left)

Fresh Start?

A couple of months ago people were making fun of the fact that I wasn't posting very much on Always Standing, and that at New Years I would probably make my usual resolution to start writing more. I don't want to give myself that type of pressure and just hope that I get back to it naturally, especially with my trip to Africa coming up and the posts that will go with that.

I have just gotten through That Awkward Time Between Christmas and New Year's that is super weird. (Though I worked a from home so that kept me a bit on track with the days passing.) I am back to work in the office tomorrow, and I have caught a cold - so not a great start to the year, hopefully it will pass quickly.

Too Much Content

It is hard to post now that I am doing social media again at work. I have only recently taken it on. At the BIA we had hired a few people to do it in the lead up to our big event. Then we let the channels lay dormant for a while before it was requested that we pick it back up again. I decided I would do it (helps me stay on top of what is going on in the neighbourhood, but it does take a considerable about of time.)

So because I am creating content for The Junction all the time for multiple channels, I struggle with content and writing for Always Standing. The medium is different (also possibly the message?) since there isn't a blog at work. However, I personally have accounts at multiple channels and am now managing all the ones at work. I personally have Facebook and Twitter, though I rarely look at or post on Twitter. Then Two has her Instagram (link on the left) which I help out with. Then there are all the work ones, which I take care to post on regularly.

Follow us at The Junction, especially if you live in the GTHA:
- Instagram @TorontoJunction
- Facebook @TorontoJunction
- Twitter @TorontoJunction

I would like to make my usual promise to try to get back into the blog and post more regularly. However, if I am going to focus on bringing back habits that got lost over the summer (during my latest depressive episode) - I want to get back in shape. It is important for me to try to regularly work out. Back to the gym! (Then back to the blog!)

Hole In The Soul

I have been feeling a bit empty lately and I realize that it is because I haven't made or 'created' anything in a while. My mind is filled with timelines, organizational details, and budgets/prices for work, Casa Verde, travel, family and more. These leaves me feeling productive but hollow. I know that I am good at keeping track of these types of details. I analyse data well, much better than any creative skill I might have. But the data isn't enough, I need to be creative.

I thought that Casa Verde projects would fill that void. Fun little DIY upgrades like our 'fake crown molding' are really enjoyable, especially as they tend to take a fair amount of problem solving to recreate in our space. However, at the same time it often just feels like I am following instructions, just going step by step and not being really creative.

Hopefully I will get a chance to be artistic soon, but the opportunities seem more limited now for some reason. Maybe just getting back to writing will be enough.

Maybe It Is?

My numbers are terrible!! 2 posts in May! And I didn't do very well in June either. Maybe it is my new job that is keeping me from writing posts for Always Standing. My tablet is fixed now, I have no excuse.

And Why Did I Go?

So, since I haven't been away, and most people knew that I wasn't, what has been the cause of the month-long blog hiatus? A lot of friends and family have been wondering why I haven't posted, and everyone has their own ideas as to the reason behind my stalled writing on Always Standing.

Here are the theories I have heard:

- The trails of home-ownership. Nope. It has been a busy Spring at Casa Verde but more for Jason than me. He has been working on the lawn, trying to get rid of weeds and seeding in more grass. While I was in Ottawa this past weekend Faye and David came and helped Jason and Noah tear down the gross shed/kennel behind our garage.

- Newly wedded bliss. Nope. I know we just had our honeymoon, BUT. We got married in September 2016, moved in to our own house in May 2016, bought our home in December of 2015,  and we had started to live together in October 2013. So the bliss wouldn't really be the type to keep me from posting.

- My new job. Nope. While it is true that I am working long hours at the office in preparation for our big summer event, it has only stopped me from posting in that I don't want to log into a work computer to do it. We use Google for everything here and having my account on the computer to access Blogger might get tangled up in the accounts I use for work. But I often have my personal computer here so could easily pop on it during a break and fire off a post.

The actual reason:

- My tablet broke! I don't think I ever mentioned that I had my own tablet but Jason got me a very nice Google Pixel C for Christmas. (It was intended for my birthday but came so early that I got it at Christmas instead.) Well, I have been using it to post on Always Standing because it is always on hand and the Blogger interface on it is okay. I hadn't realized how much I relied on it to blog, but I do. All my Azores posts were done from the tablet, it is pretty much my main computer now. Well, the screen on it went wonky about a month ago and Jason spent some time trying to fix it but ended up having to send it away. I have it back now and posting will pick up again.

Wedding Update

I posted the following on Jason and My Wedding Website but I thought I would put it here as well. (This is why it is written weirdly in third person.) After our wedding was over, we spent the last week in September doing a lot of donations:

CASH DONATIONS

During the reception at Watermark Pub we gave each guest 3 bingo chips in a small bag. Each chip represented one dollar. Our guests brought these to the head table during the evening and placed them in a charity jar. There were two jars representing different charities. We also asked that instead of just clinking glasses to get us to kiss, guests donated an amount of their choosing to one of the two charities. With the combination of poker chips and cash donations for kissing, we have given the following:

- $175 to The Heart and Stroke Foundation
- $280 to Jesse's Journey Foundation

Thank you to all our guests for their generosity!

DRESS DONATIONS

Chris has donated both of her wedding dresses:
- The Paperwork Dress, the cocktail length dress worn by Christine on Friday September 23, 2016 to Toronto City Call to sign paperwork was donated to The Brides' Project in Toronto. The Brides’ Project accepts donated wedding dresses and resells them raising funds to support cancer charities.
- The Main Wedding Dress, since the large dress worn to the ceremony on Saturday September 24, 2016 had been purchased used and was more than 3 years old it couldn't be donated to The Brides' Project. Instead, this dress was given to Double Take, a thrift store that supports The Young Street Mission.

OTHER DONATIONS

- Hot Dogs and Hot Dog Buns, on the Monday immediately following the wedding all the leftover perishable food was brought to Second Harvest in Toronto. This organization arranges the delivery of fresh food to various community agencies.
- Paper Plates, Cutlery, and Plastic Cups, we also had a lot of leftover picnic supplies which were given to The Daily Bread Food Bank.

Ramp Up In January

Looking to 2017, I am again hoping to post more on Always Standing. I realize that December has the trend of being a slow month for me writing over the last few years, historically this is how many posts I have done each December:

2016 - 4
2015 - 3
2014 - 7
2013 - 16
2012 - 15
2011 - 14
2010 - 30
2009 - 16
2008 - 15
2007 - 24
2006 - 22

However, I am going to ramp up for January and plan to get a lot of posts lined up. So, no backdating posts, I actually am going to try to write in advance and schedule them. Stay tuned.

You Can Creep Her

I posted a couple of weeks ago that Two has an Instagram account.I have realized that since her account is public you don't even have to have Instagram to see all the pictures! So I have included a link to them over on the left. Visit her profile often, there tends to be a new photo daily and all the comments with them are written in her 'voice.' If you click the photos you can read the comments.

Our Vows, Part 1

Jason and I agreed on a format for the wedding vows that we wrote - 6 pairs of statements. Each of the 6 vows would start by stating "I love you because.." with reasons why we love the other person, followed by a promise phrased "Because I love you..."

We wanted to be surprised up at the alter (not that we had an alter at our wedding) so we separately wrote them and didn't show each other. So that our guests could follow along with what we were saying, and so we could have a nice copy of them for prosperity, we did have them published in our program. We both submitted them to Kristen who covered them in all our proof reads and edits of the document.

These were mine:

Jason, I love you because you are fun and playful. 
Because I love you, I will not have an expectation that you must entertain me. 

I love you because you don’t let me get away with everything. 
Because I love you, I will not manipulate or lie to you. 

I love you because you are smart, hard working, and constantly reading. 
Because I love you, I will give you the space and quiet needed to be yourself. 

I love you because you have witnessed my grief and held my hand. 
Because I love you, I will work hard to stay healthy so you won’t experience my depression. 

I love you because you are kind and affectionate. 
Because I love you, I will build a family with you. 

I love you because you make me feel so calm. You are my home. 
Because I love you, I will support you, care for you, and share my life with you, as your partner - always.

Motherhood - A New Series

I am going to start a new series of posts on Always Standing related to having children. I wanted to first make a general disclaimer that (unless explicitly stated) these are just rants and thoughts and general writing from my perspective at this moment in time. They are not reflections of my own childhood. These posts are also not connected to anyone I know, who may or may not have kids. Please remember that these are posts about me while I consider this interesting aspect of my possible future. Just like my posts about getting married and having an engagement ring were not related to the choices people have made or thoughts others have on the same topics. So stay tuned for this minefield of a topic.