And Where Am I?

Pathetic Public Self Pity Poetry

Lost in an electronic sea of equivalence.
Searching for superficial standards.
Caught in a current of digital comparisons.

Teri's teaching.
Kristen signed her contract, continuing her career.
High school peers are posting pictures of new puppies.

Taylor is tying the knot.
ERin has already had an anniversary.
A person in my program is friends with a restaurant proprietor.

Dave does testing for demolitions.
Steph travels to the States to attended engineering seminars.
Countless friends own cars.

Mike is managing his second mortgage.
Jenn's new position means prosperity and potential for promotion.
A bunch of friends are boasting about beautiful babies.

Working against the worry of imaginary worth.
Facebook makes me feel like a failure.
Lonely and looking for a life.

--- C.Sweeton, 2010

I Only Got 13

From a Facebook Notes thing:
Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen authors who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.

1 - Shakespeare
Umm, obviously!
2 - A.A.Milne
For his poetry not for Pooh.
3 - Marian Keyes
Chick Lit with depth.
4 - Aaron Sorkin
Best screen writer of all time.
5 - Jonathan Safron Foer
I have read two, they do stick with you.
6 - C.S.Lewis
Read over and over in my childhood.
7 - Italo Calvino
If On A Winter's Night A Traveller blew my mind.
8 - Audrey & Don Wood
Children's author and illustrator.
9 - A.E.Maxwell
Fun series.
10-Aldous Huxley
Even beyond Brave New World he is awesome.
11-Douglas Coupland
He writes my world.
12-Robert Fulgman
Better than Chicken Soup for the Soul.
13-William Gibson
Cyber-punk is an awesome genre.

Is it bad that I didn't come up with 15 and I'm an English Major? I never remember authors.

Cooking Fail

Kristen decided to be adventurous this morning and make us poached eggs in her fancy poacher. I decided to rise to the challenge and said that I would try to make Hollandaise Sauce so we could turn them into Eggs Benedict. I have only ever had them once before, and it was only a bite of someone's, and this was only a couple of weeks ago. (They were amazing!) I knew that it was something that most people tended to eat at restaurants instead of making at home, and I also knew that it was something that people considered unhealthy. However, I thought that it would be pretty easy to make and couldn't be that bad for you.

I looked up a recipe, and even after seeing the ingredients, I still thought it would be pretty simple and not particularly fattening. Turns out that after I melted the ridiculous pile of margarine and stirred up the egg yokes, I realised that there might be something to the nutritional information at the end of the recipe that said that each tablespoon had 71 calories, and that 99% of them are from fat. Making the sauce also turned out to be a bit more difficult than I thought too. Turns out that just looking at the ingredients and glancing at the instructions is not really good enough. I combined everything all at once and then had to google why 'hollandaise sauce not thickening.' Pretty much the most important instruction in the recipe, add the melted butter to the egg yokes -gradually- oops! Had to throw it out. Cooking fail!

Kristen's eggs were awesome though! No need for the sauce after all.

Measuring My Self Worth

I got a bad mark. I'm not going to tell you what it is because you might not think it is particularly low. However, there are strange new standards in a Masters and marks that were once a little disappointing are now much more devastating. I knew the Essay Proposal I was handing in wasn't particularly good. It isn't a form I really understand, having never had to purpose an essay before. This is no excuse. Because I left it to the last minute, I did not have time to create something to be proud of. It was poorly edited and put together in a rush.

I don't really feel like I have gotten into a good groove with school work yet. I am up to my old habits and they don't seem to work as well for me anymore. I need to step up my game and start getting the marks that really reflect who I am as a student. I know that I'm smart enough. Seeing the low grade did not make me question my intelligence. (While I'm sure a number of people in the program think I'm dumb, I know that I'm not.) What the low mark, and looming list of assignments, shows me is just how much work it is going to take to be successful. It is going to be tough to work hard at research and writing again but I need to and quickly!

Another Fortune Cookie

"You are sensitive, sympathetic, and considerate."
What the hell? These aren't even fortunes!

Sick

Again!!

Bad Sleeping Pattern

This happens to me every time I'm in school...
Tuesday - 2:30 am to 7:30am - 5 hours
Wednesday - 4:30am to 6:30am - 2 hours
Thursday - 3:30am to 7:00am - 3.5 hours
Friday - 1:00am to 11:00am - 10 hours
Saturday - 3:00am to 3:30pm - 12.5 hours
Sunday - 4:30am to 6:30am - 2 hours

From A Fortune Cookie

"Your nature is both dramatic and romantic."
Umm, thanks?