Elevated Terror Alert

--- from email

World Terrorism Alert Levels
by John Cleese

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France 's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is canceled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Hittin' And Some Kittens

Looking for something to like about Stephen Harper? He likes cats! I have known this for a while since they always show him with cats and kittens. Note the following photos:What always bothered me was that it didn't seem to be a consistent cat. Are these just photo-op cats? In fact it is much better than that, according to the official Prime Minister of Canada - Stephen Harper website:
The Harpers are proud to support and participate in the Ottawa Humane Society’s Foster Program, which provides temporary homes for pets in the community who are not yet ready for adoption. The program fosters out animals with mild health or behaviour issues who need individual care and nurturing to help them recover before they are adopted by new, loving foster families. Laureen and Stephen have been foster parents to many cats during the past year. At any given time, the Harpers have provided foster care to numerous cats at their Ottawa home.
However, Harper's love of cats and support of the Humane Society may not be enough to compensate for his policies, legislation, and budget choices. Especially after reading the information on the site Shit Harper Did, which is full of - true - things that are not so great about his leadership and politics. Pissed off? Well, you can 'Smack Him' on this site - Smack Stephen Harper, which is oddly cathodic. However, I find it sad that they choose to use a kitty picture. I like that he likes cats.

You're Killing Me!!

Maybe it's brain chemicals
Maybe it's Glee

Maybe it's this paper
Maybe it's the Harper Majority

Maybe it's the lack of sleep
Maybe it's my MRP

Maybe it's my program
Maybe it's a deficiency of Vitamin B

But, man, it is all just killing me.

Do It!!

It is election day, Canada. Go Vote!! The thing that pisses me off most about Canadian politics is our poor voter turnout. Don't be so disenfranchised that you let today pass you by without taking the time to go to the polls. For me it really is beyond a right and a responsibility, it is your duty to vote!

(And of course: Don't even think about even talking to me about politics if you don't vote, let alone complain about politics.)

Amp Your Vote

Wondering who vote for tomorrow? Check out this web site:

Project Democracy - Amp Your Vote

More than 60 percent of Canadians do not support Harper and his government's contempt for democracy. Yet, he could win a majority with as little as 35 percent of the popular vote.

Project Democracy is a tool to help you determine if there is a way to "amp up" your vote and stop a Harper majority. By using a riding by riding election prediction model based on the most up to date public opinion polls, we can tell you which Party is best positioned to defeat the Conservative in your riding.

Choking Up At Glee

Glee handled Emma's OCD a bit more this week and I think they did a great job. In general I have a hard time with the way that they show her symptoms - it doesn't seem accurate or believable - but this stems from not having much experience with the washing/cleaning type. However, they are definitely on the right path in term of attitude towards mental illness.

The imputes for the episode is that Glee plans to do a group number where they will perform Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” They are to wear white T-shirts that will each have a word to describe the part of themselves that they are most ashamed of or want to change. However, as an example Emma has chosen “Ginger” to describe herself.

Will is upset that Emma doesn't choose OCD and realizes that she isn't doing much to work on her issues. He calls her on this and asks that she go to therapy. The therapist scene was very nicely done. (Though my affection for it might be the use of 'diabetes' which is a classic example I use all the time.) Though the whole scene is good, here is the best section:

Therapist: There's a stigma in this country about mental illness. I mean depression, anxiety, OCD, bipolar - they're hard to diagnose, so people don't always appreciate that they are serious problems, but they are.
Emma: Yeah, umm, I don't know. You know I'm not sure I want to lay on a couch and tell some stranger all of my secrets. And I don't want to start popping pills just so I can turn into someone that other people want me to be. This is how I am. This is who I am supposed to be.
Therapist: Your illness is not who you are supposed to be. It's keeping you from who you're supposed to be. Look, your a guidance councillor right? So if a student came to you and said they had diabetes would you give them insulin, or would you say, "Hey, that's just who you're supposed to be."
Emma. I...hum....I, I just feel, umm, I feel so ashamed...

At the end, during the big Gaga number, Emma and Will are at the side of the stage watching and she opens to jacket to reveal a T-ship that reads "OCD."

The Wii Knows I Suck

It isn't like I've ever been good at tennis in real life, but it is sad how bad I am at tennis on the Wii. I never win! Often I don't even get any points. This evening, actually very early in the morning, as a break from all-night essay writing I played a couple of rounds on the Wii with my night-owl father.

My dad has recently retired so plays the Wii a lot. He has over 1000 points for his little tennis Mii, mine has 137. The difference in our skill level is so wide that Wii Sports automatically assigned him a second player. Normally each side of the court has two players and you control both, the front one and the back. I'm pretty bad at getting the front one to ever do anything, I'm not fast enough to have that one hit the ball and just use the back one for everything. However, my Dad didn't get two of his Miis, he got some other random chick with a point level of 120, and didn't have control of her.

Basically the Wii decided that I sucked so bad that I needed a player worse than me on the other side so that I could get some easy shots. It didn't even work! I still lost, badly.

Please Say Something Nice

After almost eight months of graduate school, I have yet to find something to excel at. I often get feedback from essays or presentations that is lackluster at best. However, a professor for a course I am taking on visual culture wrote the following in the comments for a presentation I did:

"Throughout this class, I've been impressed with your ability to analyze pictures in terms of their formal properties and to understand how compositions work. This is a real strength."

Basically I think this means I should have taken some art history classes in undergrad and maybe looked for an image-based Masters instead of literature. She also said, "You have a very relaxed presentation manner, with a clear voice and good engagement with your audience." This may have been true for that particular presentation, as well as presentations I have done in the past at work or school, but as a whole for this program I have been terrible at presenting. I am currently writing an essay for this class, which involves analyzing a lot of images, I hope I do well on it.