Sliced Bread

There was once a time that Mr.Knife wanted to make household swords, to cut bread. So he went to get his finest sword. Then he got his sharpest sword and he cut his finest sword in half. (Because swords are used to cut other swords.) Now he had two little swords. So he sharpened up those two little swords into the perfect shape. (Phallic.) "These would be the perfect things to cut bread with," Mr Knife said, "I should market this." But what should he name it. "I know!" He said. "I`ll name it a knife." And so begins the worlds greatest love with a piece of cutlery. All because Mr. Knife wanted to cut perfectly symmetrical pieces of bread. - Kristen