Friday, 22 July 2016

Accomplished Before Engagement

I ran across the article Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment at just the right time, wedding planning had been getting me down, I was struggling with a small depressive low, and I was not looking forward to the future. I needed perspective and it was great to read some words that seemed more based in my reality.

Being popped the question is still more celebrated than academic and professional pursuits of women. Yes, college graduations and landing a great career and receiving wonderful promotions are all received with happiness from friends and family, but not even close to the same level of elation received when you announce that you are getting hitched. This is my experience, at least. I am so grateful for the excitement surrounding my upcoming marriage, however, I often wonder why the event of getting married is put on a higher pedestal than the true successes that come along with an education and career.

Despite everything Jason and I are doing to try to take away the parts of a 'traditional' wedding that don't mesh with our personalities, relationship, or personal views. I still struggle with how gendered this event is - especially everyone's reaction to it. I completely notice the same things as the author, Natalie Brooke:

I can’t blame anyone for being more curious about my relationship status than my career, as I too have been guilty of doing the same with other woman. After all, we are all taught through expertly crafted commercials and advertisements that it is of utmost importance for a woman to get a ring put on her finger. Perhaps it’s time for society as a whole to re-evaluate what aspect of women’s lives we put the most value on. In my opinion, getting married should never be put in a higher regard than the academic and professional successes that women work hard to attain.

I have a slightly different reaction though, I DO blame people for being more interested in my relationship, wedding, etc than my career - I work for a really really interesting company!! Jason is constantly asked more about his job than I am. I will do another post on that since it is a longer rant.

You can read the full original article on Huffington Post HERE. Also check out Natalie Brooke's follow-up article: Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment, But Finding Happiness (In Any Form) Is.

Also, on an end note, I am feeling much better now and wedding planning is exciting again.

1 comment:

Meghan van Asseldonk said...

fair point Chris, we do tend to ask you about the wedding first before we ask about anything else in your life. Good reminder.