Conversations with JasonAny of these interactions could have easily happened; in reality though, only one actually did - I will let you guess which. However, I feel like they all represent our relationship pretty accurately.
Tidy Up Time
Jason: Can you look at your stuff on the kitchen table?
*I review the multiple piles of envelopes and open them.*
Me: *Yelling to Jason in the other room.* Mainly tax stuff, investment stuff, some cards from people, and letters about magazine subscriptions.
Jason: So... what did you do about them?
Me: The magazine stuff is in the recycling and the rest is tidied up.
*Later Jason passes the kitchen and sees my neat pile of opened mail on the table."
Jason: Stacking them all together on the table does not count as tidying up!
Me: What do you mean?
Jason: Well, is this their spot?
Me: It could be their spot.
Jason: It is not their spot.
*I transfer the pile of mail to my desk in the back room which is covered in various teetering piles of similar things - the only spot I have left.*
*Getting home late in the evening after doing a spinning class together.*
Me: Okay, you shower and I will make dinner. Do you want white cheddar or normal Kraft dinner?
Jason: I had Kraft dinner for lunch, can you make something different?
Me: Well, did you have the orange one or the white cheddar for lunch?
Jason: The orange one.
Me: Okay, I'll do the white one.
Jason: That isn't different enough.
Me: Hey, shower-ers can't be choosers. I'm cooking here.
Jason: Well, perpetual dishwashers should have a say.
Jason: I am pulling out pork chops to defrost for dinner tonight.
Me: Okay, we should figure out a side, what veggies do we have?
Jason: Ugh, I don't know why we need to have vegetables in our lives.
Me: So we can poop.
Jason: That's what coffee is for.