Slow Internet In Starbucks

It's getting to me.
Day in. Day out.
The days drag by.
Discouraged!

Slow and sad.
Feeling stifled.
It seems so unending.
Suffocating!

Don't throw your hope at me.
I am where hope goes to die.

Twist it. Hate it.
Unmotivated.

My balance of sanity rests on the tip of a needle. Wobbling on a tiny point of a pin. How can it be so fragile? Why is my mind so weak against the normal storms of existence? A light breeze sends me toppling down to a crumbled pile on the ground. It doesn't even take a set back, I could cry at the slightest thing.

How do you know your crazy? When your day is over because the internet is slow in Starbucks. All problem solving abilities are gone - my whole being just shutting down. Depressed. Indignant to any suggestion of adjustment. No! I don't want to figure out something like a normal person. I want to go home and crawl into bed and hide under the covers and cry. Because the internet was slow in Starbucks. It took too much, too much to even get here and now I can't do anything. Because the internet is slow in Starbucks. As I write it, I hear it. Even before that, I knew. I know. I understand that it is stupid. That I am ridiculous. But that doesn't change it.

At least the internet being slow at Starbucks doesn't stop me from writing bullshit on my blog as my mind drifts away to the dark and everything that I am completely steps away from reality.