I am returning to The Cottage this weekend. I am glad to have come back to Toronto for a couple of days, following my dad's funeral, because it has given me a chance to try living 'life as normal' but it has been difficult. I am tired all the time and consumed with sadness. At times his death is all that I think about and all I want to talk about, then at others I do everything I can to drive it from my mind.
I have been meaning to post about this, but I keep waiting to 'find' my father somehow. It is difficult to explain and I hope I get a chance at some point to work on writing about the concept and my feelings connected to it, however at the moment the basics of this is that I feel lost and constantly miss him. It hurts. Everything hurts.
I think being back at The Cottage with my mom, Mike, and Aimee will make me feel closer to my dad. He is buried there, so many memories connected to him are there, and I will be with people who directly understand and are experiencing my grief. I will be coming back to Toronto on Sunday so as to start the whole 'life as normal' thing again Monday morning.
1 comment:
One day at a time Chris... I know that's everyone says in times like this, but I think it's true. I think it's incredibly brave and strong that you came back to "life as normal" so quickly and are willing to keep trying at it even though it's hard. Love you, call/text anytime.
Love T
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